Premature labour at 20 weeks - baby born alive

[FiFi74]

I went into premature labour on 10th July and after a very painful and stressful 40 odd hours, I gave birth to my little girl, Melody Grace. She was absolutley perfect, just too small and fragile to live. She was born alive adn lived for about 3 hours on her own. We had her baptised and then the funeral a week later on the 20th of July. I am waiting for hospital appointments now as I think I may have an incompetant cervix. I am so scared that this could happen again but am not going to give up the thought of having another child. I have an 11 year old as well and she tried to come 8 weeks early, so I am wondering if there is any connection. I hope maybe there is someone else out there who can share their story with me and let me know if they have ever had this stitch I have heard about and how it is done, etc. Please please write me back, Fi

With DS1 I started having contractions on and off from about 20 weeks and was in the hospital many times getting it checked out. At 25 weeks the contractions became quite serious so that admitted me and put me on a IV drip to stop them and gave me shots of cortisone for his lungs in case he came early. Every time they tried to lower the dose of the drug they were giving me the contractions came back. In the end I was in hospital for 3 weeks before they could get me onto a low enough dose of the drug to send me home and tell me to take it easy and basically not to leave the house. My Doctor put it down to stress - this was all happening while I was living in Germany. I was being monitored every week from then on with the goal of getting past 34 weeks. I felt uncomfortable about taking the drugs not feeling that it had been explained to me about potential side-effects etc, so I stopped taking them after 34 weeks and wouldn't you know it at 35 weeks went into labour and had a healthy if early DS1. The condition of my cervix was never mentioned.

When I came back to Oz and fell pregnant with DS2 I was afraid it would all happen again (chances increase 30% when you have had a premmie before). A doctor in the Public system was not sympathetic to my concerns and basically told me that had I been in Oz that they would not have left me on the IV for three weeks and that basically they would have delivered DS1 and that with the current pregnancy they would do nothing preventative and just wait for something to happen. This was not good enough for me and so I changed to a private doctor and went to a naturopath and an acupuncturist for preventative treatments. For example I was magnesium deficient so I was on quite high doses of magnesium throughout the pregnancy and went to full term .

Anyway, sorry for being so long-winded , but hope that my story might be of some use.

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't begin to imagine it. just wanted to say, I have a friend who lost her baby at 23 weeks this way, then got pregnant a couple of months later, had the stitch, did have to spend some time in hospital on bed rest but eventually had a healthy little baby at 37 weeks and 1 day (the day after the stitch was removed!).
you will be in my thoughts

leepe - this happened to my friends sister, she lost her twins at 16 weeks and had had a cone biopsy a couple of years before. theyve told her with her next pregnancy that they will monitor her cervix. what i cant understand is why they didnt do it with this pregnancy!? it seems silly as they know that having a cone biopsy can cause this and twins increase the chances.

my friend has also had a cone biopsy and now is worried that when she decides to start a family the same thing will happen

leepee- do not feel you are the only one. It is just that the babies who don't make it they never a get a mention in the papers and people are always keen to tell you how not to worry about anything because this and that miracle happened. I too lost my twin boys last year when at 25 weeks I suffered a placenta abruption. The boys only lived for two days and it felt that mine were the unlucky ones as the neonatal ward was full of pictures of these amazing children who survived against all odds. After than there were pregnant women and babies everywhere and I could not escape them. Neither can I find an appropriate answer when people ask me whether I have any children. I was also angry with the doctors for not spotting the problem earlier and practically leaving me to give birth on my own in the hospital loo.

We lost our baby girl last week, Ella Elizabeth was born June 3, 2008. I was 19 weeks and six days when I was rushed to the hospital. I had no labor pains. I just felt pressure and a bulge while in the bathroom. I did have more discharge for about five days and had pink spotting the night before. When I got to the hopsital, I was already 3 cm and part of the sac was already in my cervix. I went into labor the next evening, at exactly 20 weeks. Ella was born at 8:18 and lived for about 3 minutes. We did get to hold her. She was perfect. She was just too small. I have two other children (11 & 15) who have been a huge blessing at this time. My husband is grieving differently than myself, but we are supporting each other well. It's hard not feeling pregnant anymore and to feel so weak from the delivery. I know it will take time to recover pyhsically and emotionally, but this is really hard. I continue to pray for faith for today as we walk through this period of grief. I hope to find out what the problem was (doctor thought it might be weak cervix, since I had no pains) and hopefully we will be able to have another baby. Hebrews 13:5-6 God has said, "I will never leave you; I will never forget you." So we can be sure when we say, "I will not be afraid, because the Lord is my helper. I am thankful for this outlet to put my thoughts and receive support from others who have been through this same thing. Blessing.

Faithfortoday I am so sorry for your loss Im sorry I dont have anything else to say I just didnt want you to go unnoticed.

no1puts - Thank you so much. I believe this is one good way for me to really heal, by just getting my thoughts out and being real.

i am so sorry faithfortoday. god was just wanting to meet your baby.

I believe that can help too. I will always listen or (read) and respond if you want to keep talking.

Faithfortoday,
just wanted to also offer my sympathies at this very difficult time. All best wishes.

FiFi74, I am so sorry for the loss of Melody Grace, a beautiful name btw.

I have no expereince of what you have and indeed are going through but am aware of another thread where you may find equally as wonderful support as you have on your own.

A friend of mine called Shabster will be found there. Her thread is also in the bereavement heading and is called Sunflowers for Gareth and Matthew.

I have just had my baby at 21wks. I was in hospital for three days and eventually gave birth to my son. He was alive and kicking and healthy upto about three hours before I gave birth however he as born dead. I am taking it very hard and am very angry at my doctors as I had my daughter two years ago at 26 weeks. She is fine and healthy but the dotors were aware of the risks with this pregnancy but nothing was done to prevent my son dying. There was talk of putting in a stitch but nothing was ever done. I was left for days to have my baby alone. I was even told by the neonatologist that when/if i give birth they would not try to ressusitate him so I was basically waiting to have my son for him to die beacause of hospital poicy. Really angry, confused and in diselief.

Really sad for you JAYJO.

Not really sure, but this thread is a couple of years old...maybe post a new thread for your baby boy in bereavement ~ one of his own.

I'm so, so sorry.

Have you been in touch with SANDS? They have their own telephone advice line and also a forum to discuss things wtih other parents.

www.uk-sands.org/

So sorry for what has happened.

Leepee76 I know its been a while...sorry for your loses but the same thing has just happened to me 9 weeks ago I most my baby girl twins at 22+5 & 23+1. I've had treatment on my cervix like you but 17 years ago and 2 years ago had more treatment where a piece was cut away. I've not been told yet this could be a possible cause. I asked this question as I blamed myself and they've said many women have treatment and go on to have healthy pregnancies so they wouldn't of known so frustrating as my baby girls were so wanted and were perfect little angels wriggling around and with us for 2 hours each. Had they known this could happen why don't they stitch every women that's had treatment? Its so unfair this has to happen before they stitch you