My best friend is having life support withdrawn at 12 midday and I'm struggling to cope.

[OriginallyfromLA]

How can this have happened?? She's a vibrant, warm, generous, loving person. She has a young daughter. This time last year we were excitedly planning our Christmas celebrations together. We drank wine and danced around her living room for hours. We laughed so much!

And now she will be gone. She has an awful, aggressive cancer that has stolen her beautiful heart and soul. She was only diagnosed 8 months ago! Why her?? Why now??

How old is dd?
Sympathies to you and her family and especially young dd

So sorry to hear this

So very sorry for your loss and sending you much love. It's an incredibly difficult time and makes you realise how shitty life can be. In time you will think more of the love and less of the loss xxx

Thanks everyone. Her dd is 10, will be 11 shortly. When she was first admitted for treatment I went to visit her in hospital. One thing she said has really stuck in my mind. She was barely processing anything at that stage and just out of the blue as she was staring at the floor and struggling to breathe she said sadly "I'm never going to see Bubby grow up." (NN for her dd).
I can't stop thinking about that. I have 2 dds of my own. And it was so soon after she was admitted I can't help but feel it was prophetic in some sense?! Sounds stupid when you take it out of context.

Christmas has been hard. Last year we had a post-Xmas day celebration today. Fun, crackers, hats, amazing food, lots of wine! In fact I can't stop looking for videos and photos on my phone. I've found a few and it hurts me so much to see them. She was so ALIVE! I can't really describe it any other way. Sparkling, vibrant, funny and the most generous person you could ever meet. God, I have tears typing this! I wish you could all see what an amazing person she was.

It sounds so trite and cliched, but honestly - as a goal for today and afterwards, DO the things you want to, SEE the people you want to, TELL those people you love them. Snatch everything that you can in life.

I think Christmas for her family has been ok. She was so ill and in hospital for so long (around 6 months in total and in long stretches) that day to day life doesn't seem too odd without her. And the final couple of weeks she was and looked so ill and was so sedated that it was almost a relief when she passed. She was unrecognisable.

The funeral is in 2 weeks. I'm going to a mutual friends house tonight and we're going to laugh, cry, drink champagne (she loved it!) and remember her. I hope that doesn't sound too disrespectful? This particular friend has been away all over Christmas so doesn't know any details of what happened.

Thank you all for your support. This is the second close friend that I've lost this year but I feel people around me don't really understand how I feel, like I'm grieving too much. Like I should be ok with it now. Stiff upper lip thing. So thank you all again