Support for anyone who loses a partner/spouse

[echt]

Building on the excellent, valuable thread begun by Mummylin for those who have lost a parent.

A place to depend on for support and sympathy.

@echt thank you for remembering, the job is going well and the people are lovely but I'm struggling with coming home to an empty house and all the rituals that we had.

I think my sadness has slipped into depression and I'm seeing the doctor this week.

I haven’t joined you yet but the time is coming. My DH has had cancer for 2 years so there’s no shock, and to be honest I expected it to happen much sooner. He is very tired and has a scan this week. I can see it had progressed in the 6 weeks he has been off treatment. He’s keen to keep having chemo but i can see we are reaching the end of the line, although he denies this.

We will be fine financially and I am eternally grateful I have a great job which has helped me keen my sanity through this.

But I am desperately worried about my teens and how they will cope. They’re good grounded kids with no additional needs. And we have a close and supportive family on both sides. One is already having counselling, one says they don’t need to and the youngest is still in primary and hasn’t needed any so far. They know he’s incurable and they know he’s deteriorating but I’m so petrified of how they’ll deal with the aftermath.

Sorry to hear that. In my experience the vast majority of people, including children, are remarkably good at dealing with trauma. It’s always a bumpy transition though, and I guess all you can do is make sure you all know you’re still a stable family unit, even if it looks different.

I'm in the dumps.

I dreamt of my DH a few days ago and it seems to have kicked off a new wave of sadness. My house is too tidy, too thin. I cope on the surface but in reality scrape along, angry and sad.

Objectively I've had a trying year; changes to job, health issues, money worries and an RTA. Writing this down makes it all look so obvious I could laugh, I miss having him to take care of me. Not because I'm incapable, but I'm so tired of being the grown-up right now.

But more than this it's him I'm thinking of, I'm overwhelmed by the sense of his personality gone.