Today was my babies funeral

[BeyondHope]

Just that really. Me and my husband said our goodbyes to my beautiful boy born sleeping just after Christmas. The words that the chaplain said shattered my heart. Seeing my big strong husband carry that white coffin into the chapel shattered my heart. How do I begin to come back from this?

This has happened in my family. When hello means goodbye. Sending you strength. You've got a beautiful little boy. When the time is right for you, you will hopefully welcome another little one into your family. It's a tragedy. So sorry

I have no words that will help you. I only have my thoughts and prayers to send you. Look after yourself and each other in the days ahead.

OP I am so sorry. I don't really know what to say other than there is always a place here where people will listen if you want to post about your son Christopher or how you feel, and there are people out there who can support you (SANDS) when you are ready for this.

There's no right or wrong way to deal with something so earth shattering so be kind to yourself and understand it is ok to grieve for your son who you never got to know properly yet was loved and wanted.

I am so, so sorry for your loss, and am thinking of you and your family. 💐

Today I went to soft play with my little boy and was determined to be the best mother I can be. Climbing the ropes, going down the slides, chasing and playing hide and seek. I'm exhausted. All I wanted to do was stay in bed and hide away. Now it's time for bed I can't sleep. I just want to go back to a time when I was happy. I feel heavy and grey. I feel like I have some kind of fog over me. I loved him with my heart and soul and he's gone.

You've done incredibly to get out to soft play. You are a wonderful mum.

Be gentle to yourself. Of course you loved him with your heart and soul. Of course you do

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I am so sorry that you are in this grey foggy place. You have been so positive getting out with your little one. Have you had any professional help? Your GP at least? ( I know it is very early days) I am sending you all my best wishes. XXX

I’m so so sorry to hear about the loss of your little boy.
All I can add is that you need to fine a more ‘Normal’ but always be kind to yourself.
What you’ve gone through is totally life changing and there will be easier days, and days where you feel your world has ended.
Every morning, he will be your first thought, and when you go to bed. Your last.
This is your new normal. He was real, and despite the fact that you were Not able to bring him home, talk about him when you can, fine a friend who will listen and he will always be with you in your heart.
Much love. X

Today I have found that writing is helping me. I have written to my little boy about the day we found out he would die and the day he was born. Does anyone else write to their lost loved ones? I found once I started I just couldn't stop. Everything started coming out.

I'm so so sorry. My darling little girl was stillborn three months ago and it's beyond hard. On the Sands forum there is a lovely section where people write to their babies - some going back over 5 years. It's wonderful to read and I'd suggest you have a look at it.
As for scattering ashes we couldn't decide what to do with Beth's so for the minute she is in here memory box, which means we can get her out and give her a cuddle and kiss.
Life is horrendous at times and for the first month I genuinely thought I wouldn't survive it - but I'm still here three months later and you will be too one day at a time x

Writing sounds like a good idea.
for you too iamloading. Beth is a lovely name.

This blog is very well written - by a woman who lost a baby. She describes all the very difficult emotions she went through.

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