Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My world feels over

83 replies

annielouisa · 01/05/2017 11:18

My lovely husband died suddenly yesterday. No illness, no warning, just gone. I feel numb and confused l just do not know what to do.

OP posts:
Screamifuwant2gofaster · 01/05/2017 23:17

Thinking of you. Take each hour as it comes.

Original poster
annielouisa · 02/05/2017 07:00

Thank you l just feel such an ache in side l have never known pain like this. I worry every second about my family he was my rock and theirs. I had 20 years but we had such plans. I cannot believe my soulmate has gone he was a one off.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 02/05/2017 07:46

How wonderful that you had twenty years with such a special man. He will be much missed. You will get more comfortable with that pain, that gap, over time. For now, just lean on each other and remember.

Isadora2007 · 02/05/2017 07:48

I'm so sorry for your loss. Flowers

Chasingsquirrels · 02/05/2017 08:34

Each day, hour, minute at a time annielouisa.

At the moment those 20 years might feel like they have gone in a flash, and why can't you have 20 more - I feel like that about my time with my DH, which was much shorter. But I also feel lucky to have shared our life together for the time that we did have, while wishing it could have been longer.

Strength to get through the day Flowers

MollyHuaCha · 02/05/2017 08:49

So sorry annielouisa. Take care Flowers

NoMaybe · 02/05/2017 09:31

Flowers. So sorry for your loss.

echt · 02/05/2017 13:11

Many thanks, annielouisa.

I was in your position nearly a year ago. I feel for you.

echt · 02/05/2017 13:15

Sheesh Flowers

Original poster
annielouisa · 02/05/2017 21:45

Today was surrounded by family but one my daughters is really struggling and angry. We are all trying to say grief takes us all in different ways. I have done some basic calls and spoken to the coroner who was lovely. The PM is today and they should ring me tomorrow.
We are going to try and make some plans tomorrow but it has to be a loose plan as it's so hard to know how people are going to be feeling.

OP posts:
Chasingsquirrels · 02/05/2017 21:50

It's so hard to see your children struggling with it and not be able to actually help them.

My ds1 was a lot more affected by my DH's death (his stepdad) than I'd anticipated, and it's very difficult to see - especially when you are going through your own grief as well.

Thinking of you annielouisa

🌷🌹🌷🌹🌷

mouse12 · 02/05/2017 22:59

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly 2 months ago and the pain and agony and shock is horrendous. You will get through it, one hour, one day at a time. But my thoughts are with you and I'm sending you so many hugs.

Original poster
annielouisa · 03/05/2017 08:29

Thank you for the kind words. Both my Ds1 and SIL (Son-in-law) were taken ill last night. I was already asleep so my DDs 1 2 and 3 took the decision l needed to sleep and supported the boys . Looks like they are ok maybe the strain of the last few days took its toll. I really do appreciate tge support of this forum thank you all

OP posts:
thesunwillout · 03/05/2017 08:46

Gosh I am so sorry op. What an awful shock. Don't know how to help but heart goes out to you. Xx

bigbluebus · 03/05/2017 11:46

So sorry for your loss. I hope you get some answers today so you can start to move forward with arrangements. Look after yourself.

regularbutpanickingabit · 03/05/2017 12:06

I'm so sorry. What a horrible shock. Tell us more about him.

picklemepopcorn · 03/05/2017 15:16

I hope everyone recovers from their illnesses soon. It can happen can't it, that shock and grief lower our resilience.

I hope that the news from the PM is something you can process and understand, and that there are no more shocks in store for you.

Thinking of you and your family.

Original poster
annielouisa · 03/05/2017 15:54

PM showed it was an AAA (Abdominal aortic aneurysm) it was sudden and he knew nothing.

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 03/05/2017 15:55

Is that comforting?

Original poster
annielouisa · 03/05/2017 19:22

We know my DH would not have wanted a lingering illness and that the medical team did all they could.

OP posts:
Original poster
annielouisa · 04/05/2017 07:41

Today l have to contact a funeral home and make an appointment with the registrars. Everything seems so bloody final. We discussed arrangements as a family as we are a blended family l wanted everyone included. My DD4 who been struggling was involved and had lovely ideas. I am so proud of the DC and GDC . My SIL told me l was the best that ever happened to her DB and it almost broke me. I sad that l am not dreaming l so want to see him.

OP posts:
SemiNormal · 04/05/2017 09:57

I bet it must feel like everything is moving so fast right now. It's lovely that the family are being so supportive of one another. Flowers

picklemepopcorn · 04/05/2017 10:39

I'm so glad that as a blended family you are able to work through this together. It is a fine testament to him and to you. Flowers

Original poster
annielouisa · 04/05/2017 13:28

I know how lucky we are to have such a bond. We are just taking each day as it comes. Tomorrow l register his death and gotvthe undertakers. It is all so final . We just need to support each other

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 04/05/2017 13:38

I am so sorry for your loss.
Don't be rushed into anything.
I lost my son last year.
We had the funeral 4 weeks later because it took me that long to be able to physically arrange it.
Try to eat and drink little and often. sleep when you can.
Inform people like the phone company, bank, utilities that might be in his name - maybe someone can make those calls for you.
The coroner may give you an interim certificate that is acceptable to many companies. Often you can scan it and send by email.
People will want to help. Ask them to shop, prepare food, make phone calls to let people know.
Be kind to yourself and ask for help.
Flowers