My brother took his own life today.

[DoctorBeat]

Just don't know what to do with myself. Heard this news about 10pm. Now at my parents trying to sleep. A few very close friends and family members know. Have decided to tell the rest tomorrow. Feel so numb. Can't believe this is actually happening.

Just trying to get my shot together so I can start making calls...

I'm so very sorry.

I'm so sorry. Your poor brother, and you and your parents and DD - my heart goes out to all of you.

I'm so, so sorry. Thoughts and love with you and your family.

So sorry for your loss

I'm so sorry op xx

I'm so very sorry. Suicide is just horrible.

Be prepared for an overwhelming range of emotions. I know I felt a fury that I have never felt before or since, which lasted a surprisingly long time. It took a while for me to forgive my friend, and then to forgive myself for my reaction!

I'm sorry to hear this OP - I too have lost a brother tragically (different circumstances). It's fucking awful - the first few days are just madness. Lots of love to you - you are not alone.

Oh love, I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself won't you? Eat when you can, and drink plenty of fluids. If the no sleep continues, go to the GP for a short course of sleepers.

How are your parents?

Thanks all. Lots of friends and family have come and gone today, and we have talked about the good times, the bad times, and our mixed emotions. Despite the horrid circumstances it has made us realise how blessed we are to have such wonderful people around us. Everyone has been so kind, including you lot.

I got to teatime and realised I had eaten a thing - I had no saliva and couldn't imagine chewing. But we have been brought pizzas and a dhal. So I have eaten some pizza. And drunk some wine. And smoked some fags. I had been low carbing and vaping. Oh well.

Take great care of your lovely self. I'm so glad people around you are kind and I hope you sleep tonight.

I'm so sorry doctor. I can't imagine you and all your family are going through

I have lost someone far too young (different circumstances) it will get easier to deal with. It might not feel like it now but it will I promise X

I'm so sorry and thinking of you and your family, I'm glad you've had lots of people round today, it's good to keep talking no matter how hard it is

Yep, do try and remember to eat and drink plenty of fluids, even though you're probably not hungry at all, pizza and wine sounds good to me, try and remind your parents to eat something too?

Yeah we all sat down together and ate. There was a lot of food leftover, but we all had something. We joked that there wouldn't have been if Ben was there. He was very troubled. Struggled since his teens with mental health, drugs and alcohol. It has been a living hell for us all. He was 32. At least he is at peace now.

Yeah we all sat down together and ate. There was a lot of food leftover, but we all had something. We joked that there wouldn't have been if Ben was there. He was very troubled. Struggled since his teens with mental health, drugs and alcohol. It has been a living hell for us all. He was 32. At least he is at peace now.

Doctor, I too lost my first wife to suicide after she was ill with manic depression.

It was some comfort to know that she was finally out of the absolute misery she had suffered from over many years. It just takes time to recover, time they say is a healer and they are right.

I too talked about her to anyone and everyone after the event and it did help make some sense of it.

Do go and talk to someone if you need to the Samaritans are very good no one will think your weak or judge you.

Look after yourself please.

Glad you are surrounded by support, Doctor.

Yes over the next few days, do remember the basics, like eating a little bit, staying hydrated, resting your body (even if sleep doesn't come.) Watch out for the endless cups of tea/coffee too, can make you feel jittery!

Sounds a bit like my partner, also in his 30s, had lived through hell and won so very many battles - not all of them, but 99.9% of them, and that's what we are choosing to remember him for.

Keep going

So sorry
I'm sure he's at peace now. Hope you are getting support, as well as supporting others.

The last of family members left only just now. I am worried about my mum. She went a bit pale and cold just after everyone left. I have given her a big glass of water and some sweet tea and sent her to bed. I am an actual doctor so not too worried - I suspect the lack of probably good hydration and all the raw emotion and lack of sleep caused her blood pressure to drop momentarily.

God it's so surreal. We are so lucky that we have such amazing family and friends who have been through all the ups and downs with us. They know how hard we tried desperately to help him time and time again. Still can't help thinking we/I didn't do enough.

Thank you yabu. Things have been hellish probably for well over 15 years now - but we had a lovely childhood. Interspersed with the bad times there were some fond memories. We have talked about them today. It has helped. I'm so sorry all of you for your losses. Life is so shit sometimes.

Sorry to hear of your loss. I am sure you and your family did everything you could to support your brother. Look after yourselves

You did enough. I'm absolutely sure you did.
Your brother had an illness that has become terminal. You couldn't have cured him, no matter how much love you poured in to trying. Very sorry for your loss.

Northern lurker I think that has what we have concluded. Even if we had stopped him 5 minutes before he did it, it wouldn't have changed a thing. Only he could have turned his life around and despite our best efforts he couldn't do it in the end. This life warn ' the for him. Thanks everyone.

*wasn't. Fucking autocorrect