Sudden death of my DH

[echt]

Seven days ago my lovely, funny, devoted DH had a stroke and died two days later. I'm up my eyes in funeral arrangements as one might expect, and today is a sort of respite as more is in train.

I had always secretly thought that I would be alone in this country one day that he would go before me, but not so soon. He was only 61.

[TheSpottedZebra]

Oh echt I am so sorry for your loss.
I'm another of your pals from the gardening threads, and I've loved hearing tales of your life on the other side of the world.

I'm glad you have your daughter nearby.

[echt]

Thanks for the hugs everyone.

Today was one for buying waterproof mascara for me and DD; gently but firmly removing all religious elements that had somehow crept into the celebrant's words for the funeral; applying for probate; walking the dog; tidying the front garden; tackling the bank details as DH did all the financial work and making lists of the STUFF TO DO.

I still feel somewhat spaced out, getting it all sorted for the funeral. DH's good friend is taking me to the funeral home to see DH for the last time. What good eggs so many are.

[bookbook]

Its good you have friends around you.
It can be overwhelming sorting these things out, and seemed to me ( when my DM died - I was her executor) almost to be happening to someone else. You can be quite 'organised' and together , and then some small matter catches you out and you end up in a heap .

[MyNightWithMaud]

Bookbook's experience was much like mine (I am my father's executor). Going to see the person you have lost for the last time is s bittersweet experience; I was glad to have that opportunity, but dad did not quite look like himself, which was disconcerting.

(((Joining in the hand squeeze)))

[shovetheholly]

Thinking of you, echt.

I do some grief counselling for the local hospice. So many describe the first few weeks as dominated by a feeling of unreality, like being in a horrible dream. I think a huge loss like you've had simply can't be processed all at once. And there is so very much to do initially.

Sometimes mothers in particular are so busy organising and supporting everyone else that there isn't much time for their own emotions.

Sending love to you and your family.

[HumphreyCobblers]

Thinking of you today echt XXX

[ExtraHotLatteToGo]

echt. I'm an oldie under a name change. I'm so sorry to hear this. I enjoyed hearing about your DH on various posts, they usually made me smile, I've always thought he sounded like a really great bloke 💐

I know it's not the same, but I lost my Dad very suddenly when he was only 65. The shock was immense. I'm glad your friend was able to fly over & be with you, it's such a shame she's had to go home. I don't know how I'd have got through it without my best friend. She kept me together while I held my Mum together.

Lots of love & strength
Xx

[TheCountessofFitzdotterel]

Thinking of you today xxx

[3littlefrogs]

So sorry for your loss.
61 is so young.

[Adarajames]

How heartbreaking for you and your DD, I hope you continue to find strength and support in your and your DH's friends

[funnyperson]

Oh my dear echt this is heartbreaking news, you aways talked about your road trips together he was obviously a great DH. More hugs from me. Inadequate though they are.

[funnyperson]

Remember to feed the fish

[DiggersRest]

I'm a prolific name changer but we have agreed on many threads and I'm very sorry to hear your sad news

[Catzpyjamas]

for you, echt

[Hassled]

Oh I'm so sorry. 61 is nothing - that's just too young to go. And what an awful shock for you - for all of you.

[Irelephant]

So sorry op no age at all

[StiickEmUp]

Im sorry

[IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst]

Echt I'm very sorry for your sudden loss, I am mainly a lurker on the gardening threads and have enjoyed your updates from the other side of the world. Big hugs to you and your family.

[BIWI]

Oh echt I'm so sorry

x

[annandale]

What a terrible shock, I'm so sorry

[hidingwithwine]

Echt I'm sorry for your sudden loss . I often wish I had a time machine and a magic wand and never more so in the past few weeks xx

[NataliaOsipova]

So sorry for your loss.

[passportmess]

So sorry to read this echt. I recognise your name from many threads and am popping by to offer my sincere condolences.

[NelAntarctic]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

[echt]

Well, the viewing wasn't too bad ( v.small funeral home so have to book).
I'd supplied a really good photo as I've noticed it's the complexion that is often so wrong, turning the dead out to look like a raddled old amateur actor. He looked reasonably like himself, in his own clothes, though shrunken, a smaller version of his dynamic self in RL.

This bit will out me but I don't care. A nice thing happened afterwards. I got a call from the hospital where DH died, who'd received an email from the recipient of one of DH's kidneys. It was forwarded to me so I could use it at the funeral tomorrow.