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Original poster

Struggling with death of niece.

51 replies

Buttons23 · 05/12/2015 12:02

Last night I lost my 7 month old niece to meningitis. I saw her on Thursday to take her Christmas presents and she was in perfect health. Laughing and playing with my 2 year old son.

Then Friday morning she got rushed into hospital with suspected meningitis. Transferred to a London hospital in intensive care where myself, my mum and her husband met my sister and the baby.

By 10:45pm she had died. We know the hospital tried their hardest to save her and that she fought her hardest, in the end her heart just started failing.

I am so glad I was there, no one else could initially be in the room, so I was with my niece for 45 mins and helped staff wash her and change her into a babygro. I sang to her and spoke with her and held her, something I'll never forget.

Now we have all been sent home without that perfect baby girl. It doesn't seem real, it happened so quickly and it just doesn't seem fair. All the horrible people out there and a 7 month old baby died.

Am home now and managed to sleep for 2 hours. Watching my son who is just so oblivious and unaware of everything, happily playing. I just feel so numb. My niece was perfect in every way.

Just needed to write it down.

OP posts:
QOD · 05/12/2015 12:53

How absolutely heartbreaking Flowers

Original poster
Buttons23 · 05/12/2015 12:57

Thank you all. I feel some peace, I was able to be with her and speak to her for a long time, and we really can't fault the hospital. They battled their hardest to save her and were brilliant with her afterwards. She really fought and wasn't in any pain in the end.

Right now you just don't know what to do. You just never imagine it happening to your family. She should be here looking forward to her first Christmas with her cousin and she isn't and that is so hard to come to terms with.

OP posts:
SecretBondGirl · 05/12/2015 13:03

That is just so sad, her dps will be consumed with guilt but there was nothing they could have done, I'm afraid the nature of the beast that is meningitis is the symptoms often don't show themselves until it's too late.

TheoriginalLEM · 05/12/2015 13:05

So very sorry to hear this.

You have done such a wonderful thing for your sister. She wont ever forget that you did that for her when her heart was too broken.

My heart aches for you and your family Flowers

Icantstopeatinglol · 05/12/2015 13:08

Oh buttons, I'm so so sorry your family are going through this! So devastating. My heart aches for you. Your niece was deeply loved, I can tell that from your post and I'm sure she knew you were all there with her. Sending love and strength and remember to continue to talk about how you're feeling Flowers

MNHQ
EmmanuelleMumsnet · 05/12/2015 16:26

We will move this thread to the Bereavement topic, at the OP's request.

Flowers
mumofthemonsters808 · 05/12/2015 16:28

I'm so very sorry to hear this.

NorthernLurker · 05/12/2015 21:44

Very sorry to read this awful news. You did everything you could and you sister won't ever forget what you did for her baby.

I don't want to frighten you but may I ask if you mentioned your son to any of the medical staff? As he had seen her so recently it might be as well for him to have some antibiotic treatment just as 'belt and braces' given that your niece had an illness which can be infectious.

FellOutOfBedTwice · 05/12/2015 21:50

I'm so sorry OP. Thinking of you.

lougle · 05/12/2015 22:17

So sorry Sad

Original poster
Buttons23 · 05/12/2015 22:26

Northern we have been advised to book a GP appointment first thing Monday to get him and myself checked over. It's not infectious like a cold so it's not a immediate thing we have to do and since my son was with her for only a couple of hours doctors at the hospital were not worried. He is currently running around happy.

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 05/12/2015 22:28

So sorry for your loss Flowers

Oscarandelliesmum · 05/12/2015 22:30

I am so sorry Flowers xxxx

StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2015 22:33

I'm so sorry.
I don't know if they do this but when I had meningitis they treated my family and a friend I had spent the night with. Have hey done this for you and your son?

StealthPolarBear · 05/12/2015 22:33

Sorry typed in a stress and see you have answered. X

gabsdot · 07/12/2015 15:55

I can't not post something. I'm so, so sad to hear about your loss and in such a sudden, inexplicable way.
I hope and pray that you will all have the strength you need to get through this.
God Bless you all

Original poster
Buttons23 · 07/12/2015 20:01

Thank you all, today has been hard. I feel so drained and exhausted that I ended up having a little meltdown earlier. It's hard trying to support my sister and make sure my mum is ok as well as deal with my own grief. Also went to the doctor and we received some treatment.

Right now everything is still raw so we took down our Christmas decorations and cancelled plans. Once we get the funeral out of the way, I want to try then to concentrate on making Christmas nice for my ds but right now it's not the time.

My sister is recieving some lovely support, she set up a donation page for a meningitis charity and has already raised £2000. Another page is filled with people sharing memories, photos and wishes for my niece. It's very comforting to know she has touched so many people.

OP posts:
BitchPeas · 07/12/2015 20:04

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your poor family. Flowers

Whaleshark · 07/12/2015 20:11

I am so sorry OP. It is just so bloody unfair that things like this can happen!

Sairelou · 07/12/2015 20:21

How awful, I'm so sorry for your loss Thanks

SuckingEggs · 07/12/2015 20:25

Oh no. I am so so sorry. Flowers This is just dreadful.

Likeaninjanow · 07/12/2015 20:29

So, so sorry for the loss of your lovely niece. Thanks

liger · 07/12/2015 20:38

I'm so very sorry to read your story. How heartbreaking for you whole family. I too lost my niece to a form of meningitis, in a similarly sudden way when she was just 13 months old. It changed and shaped all of our lives. It was many years ago now, but I can completely relate to all you are feeling. How wonderful that you could be there to hold her. Cherish that as you go through tumultuous grief ahead. Be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love to you all

thequickbrownfox · 07/12/2015 20:42

((((Buttons)))), so dreadfully sorry for you and your family Flowers

JeffreySadsacIsUnwell · 07/12/2015 20:43

I am so sorry Flowers. Can't think of any words but my thoughts are with you X