My beautiful mum has just passed away :(

[Hjb2410]

My beautiful mum passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly on 23/12/14.
I'm absolutely heartbroken and devastated. I don't know what to do or how to cope with everything that's coming my way now :(

@imnotcute
I'm sorry to being it back for you. I'm absolutely devastated I keep reliving it in my head and I keep thinking could I have done something I should have done this and that.
Everyone keeps asking what happened and we don't even really know what happened just she didn't wake up :(
Me and my dad have said she has given us a great footing to hopefully be able to carry on and take on board what she did but everything reminds me of her xxx

I am sending warm hugs your way.
You are not alone x

I'm sure there is nothing you could have done, but I think it's quite normal to feel that- because you're just so desperate for it to have been prevented.

Don't worry about stirring up memories for me- that happens all the time regardless, but as time goes on fortunately there is less of a painful twinge attached to each memory.

It was hell on earth for my family this time last year and I was struck by the fact that your loss is exactly a year after ours. There will be tough times ahead but I'm sure you will get through it. Hopefully you, your dad and your brother can be a good support for each other, and talking to someone neutral e.g. a bereavement counsellor can be very helpful too (but that's probably something for a few months time, once the dust has settled a bit).

Sending you support and hugs. My mum passed away suddenly on 16th Dec and we are heartbroken. I understand your pain. xx

@imnotcute
I just wish I could go back in time :(
We have been trying to talk about my mum because she loved Christmas and she wouldn't want us to be mopping about but I just wish she had been here to share this Christmas with us :(
I've found talking on here has helped me slightly the last day or so. We have a doctors appointment tomorrow so hopefully going to try to get some help xx

@whyme2014
I'm so sorry to hear your going through the same pain and heartache that we are :(
Sending you hugs and support also xx

I'm so sorry hjb2410

I lost my mum 2 years ago and I still grieve for her, more than anyone knows

you sounds like you have a good family behind you, I hope this brings you some comfort in the hard days ahead

my advice is be kind to yourself, try not to torture yourself with thoughts about what you could have done, some things are out of our hands and your mum would know you'd have done all you could to help her, she sounds like she was a lovely mum xx

I'm so terribly sorry for your loss

My mum also suddenly died 14 years ago when I was 19. You do cope and get through it, as you've got no choice and you do manage to get on with your life.

However you'll probably be in a state of shock for a while. Please just support each other as family and keep loving each other. Do whatever works for you to get through this horrendous time, be it crying, talking or keeping it inside to deal with in some other way.

I'm truly sorry for you, I know your world has been blown apart x x

I am so sorry Hjb. What a terrible shock for you all.

I lost my mum at the beginning of December so I know the pain you are going through, although my mum had been unwell for a couple of months (we had always hoped she was going to get better though). I am still finding it extremely hard, although some days are better than others.

Like you, I was very close to my mum so her not being here anymore has left a massive hole in my life.

I can't offer any more advice than what you have been already been given, but for me it was almost a help to know I wasn't the only one going through the pain of this, and that people I don't even know (on mumsnet) we're offering words of kindness and thoughts. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact I will never get to see/speak to my mum again and that's the part I am struggling with the most.

It will be very raw for a long time, but take each day as it comes. It's ok to cry, be angry, be happy at memories and miss her. She sounds like she was a lovely lady. X

Hjb..
I'm so sorry.
I lost my dad last year very suddenly.
I also did CPR.
Not something I would ever want anyone else to go through...my heart goes out to you.
Sadly later that same day my mum had a heart attack due to the distress and shock.
What I can tell you is that we are now 18 months into our lives without dad.
And it sucks.
Big time.
BUT mum is ok. On lots of meds, but ok. Losing him has given me a whole new perspective on life - and loss.
And - as I wrote in his eulogy - grief is the price we pay for love :(
RIP x

I'm so sorry for your loss op and everyone else. Such sadness

hjb how very very sad..I wish I knew the answer of how to cope, I don't, you just do..somehow. I'm 2 years on from losing my Mum too and still the pain is there, it is so raw for you at the moment.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, you do what you feel, just be kind to yourself.

Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts
I've managed a couple of phone calls and we ve had some visitors which was nice to talk to about my mum after the initial upset.
Me my dad and brother sat down and thought about the funeral and bits and pieces like that and I was managing until half way through I just sat there like I can't believe were doing this, I can't get my head round it :( we should be enjoying Christmas as a family not doing what were having to do :( xx

Hjb2410 my heart goes out to you, I lost my Mum 14 years ago and with time the rawness does subside and you learn to live your life alongside missing your Mum.

I lost my precious Dad 3 weeks ago today, I still cannot believe I am even writing those words, im still shocked beyond belief, trying to remind myself all the time that things wont always feel this painful and terrible. I know exactly how your feeling, best advice I can give is just one day at a time, too much too soon will overwhelm you.

Be kind on yourself and take it one day at a time xx

It's the funeral of my beautiful mum today :(
I still can't accept or believe what's happened so I don't understand how I can get through today :(

I'm so sorry for your loss Hjb

Thinking of you today

Hjb, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful mum. I hope that you're coping ok after the funeral, my heart goes out to you. Be kind to yourself x

I still don't believe it's happened :(
Even though we had the funeral on Tuesday - I don't know what I was expecting whether it was that it was going to hit me that day but I don't think I've accepted it. I can't accept it I just can't :( x

I actually came into this board to talk about my own recent berevement, read your post first, and couldn't not comment.

Of course you can't accept it. I feel the same way and my gran's death was imminent, but still shocking. I can't imagine how you might feel when unprepared.

My gran's funeral is next week. We were close so I've been asked to be a pallbearer, deliver a eulogy on behalf of the family, then lower the coffin at the cemetery. I honestly don't know how I'll manage to do all of these things without crumbling into a weeping mess. Like you, I just can't accept that she's gone.

The thing is, we just have to, don't we? There is nothing else to do but get up, make breakfast and get on with the rest of the day. I'm lucky in having a beautiful, smiley 7 month old who laughs all the time. He's keeping me going. If I didn't I'd need to find something that could distract me.

I wish I had wise words for you, but I don't; just empathy and the knowledge that the grief is overwhelming and insurmountable now, but you will get through this and the pain will start to lessen, as everyone tells you it will. We both will.

PM me if you need to vent and can't say it out loud to anyone in real life - all the words seem to get stuck in my throat, but writing helps me, and it might help you x