Stillbirth at 37 weeks, please tell me there is hope

[Whatshouldidonext]

We lost our little perfect angel poppy on Tuesday. I chose to give birth to her naturally after finding out the night before we had lost her. We had some precious moments cuddling her and we are planning a service to say goodbye but I am really struggling to find hope to move forward, please can someone give me some positivity that life can be better again.

One day at a time sounds like a great plan.

Will be thinking about you tomorrow.

Hello Whats, first off I am soo sorry for your loss. I too have just lost my precious Madeleine at 33 weeks on Oct 10th. I honestly don't know what to say to you but other than it will get better. For Me it makes me feel better thinking and knowing that my baby doesn't want me sad or unhappy because of her. She would want me to go on and live for her. Every morning when I wake up I would go to her room and open the blinds to let the sunlight in. I want her room filled with sunshine so it can be bright and filled with happiness. Sometimes I would sit in the rocker and talk to her or sing You are my sunshine to her. I do this everyday to keep her close to me and its a way for me to remember her. The first 3 to 4 weeks I must of sat there and cried every morning. Now its only 1 or 2 days mainly on weekends. Its hard I am not going to lie to you. It was especially hard for me in the mornings and nights when there's nothing to do and no one around my mind would start to think. I started work after 4 weeks I couldn't stand to be home. I would keep telling myself I have to go on not only for me but for my husband and Madeleine. I think getting back to the routine of daily life helped me alot. I won't lie there are good days and BAD days still. I think it will be especially bad with the upcoming holidays. If i find my self on the verge of crying or a tear has rolled down I would ask God to give me strength and I would ask Madeleine to give her mommy strength too. All in all I do it all because of her. I didn't want the thought of her or memory of her to be tainted by sadness or unhappiness. I hope that my story helps you in any way and know that you are not along in your grief.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Poppy is a beautiful name. My daughter was stillborn earlier this year and I will be honest with you, the pain never goes away, you just get better at coping with it and making it part of your life. The old cliche is true, time is a great healer.

It saddens me to hear your stories, I am sorry to all of you for your losses. Thank you for giving me hope! I dont have a nursery to go into (we were mid house renovation/still are) but I do find talking to her helps. A week ago I was in labour and I got to have that previous cuddle, as traumatic as it was I would do anything to have that cuddle again

I know what you mean about the one more cuddle.
You just have to keep taking it one day at a time, one foot in front of each other. I used to say to myself just keep swimming. It gave me something to focus on internally.
Grief is a funny beast, we all do it so differently. Remember that. Nothing is wrong. There is no incorrect. The only thing that counts is what you and your family want and need. Please feel free to pm me. Big big hugs.

Some days I still weep for my DGD, born at 27 weeks last year. She wasn't even my baby, but my baby's baby and I feel her loss keenly.

But the pain is not as constant or as sharp as it once was.

Hold your darling Poppy in your heart and believe that one day, not soon, but one day, it won't feel as bad.

Poppy was cuddled by her mum and knew she was loved from her first moment to her last. That is something to be proud of.

So sorry to hear of your loss whatdoidoext. It's heartbreaking. Little Poppy will be well looked after with all the other angel babies. My little boy Leo is up there too. Words won't help your hurt but it gets easier. There'll be good days and lots of bad days. My thoughts are with you and your family xx

Just had a letter from the hospital apologising for some deficits in my care and they are launching a full investigation. Not sure how to feel!

Do you feel your care was deficient? What a letter to get.

Are you still seeing the midwives?

I was kept in A&E for two hours in agony before I went to maternity, because I wasn't in labour they didn't think I needed midwifery care. Eventually they sent me up but I was very ill by that point, my husband had the trauma if being told the baby had died and I might not make it (I was unaware of how serious it was), we got excellent treatment from this point onwards. I suppose I didn't expect an apology, makes me feel as though things could have worked out differently

Wow, that's not right, is it?

I gently suggests some legal advice, you don't have to act on it, but I hunk it would be very wise to seek some.

What an added awfulness. Sorry what. X