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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My beautiful son

999 replies

minmooch · 26/02/2014 17:13

After nearly two and a half years of a fight with cancer my beautiful 18 year old son passed away this morning at 11:20 am.

I am humbled by his strength and humour that he has shown throughout his short life.

OP posts:
Fivemoreminutesmummy · 06/03/2014 17:23

Still thinking of you min and hoping you find strength to get through this. Don't worry about feeling numb- it's totally normal- you're in shock and your body has shut down to protect you a little.
You'll be in my thoughts. (((Min)))

Flossiechops · 06/03/2014 18:40

I'm so so sorry Min. No parent should have to lose their child. Life's so unfair. It makes no sense. Much love to you all xxx

DianaTrent · 06/03/2014 23:51

Oh, min, I am so, so very sorry. Your posts about Will have always been so full of love for your truly admirable young man. It is so terribly unfair. It all has been. Much love to you.

Millie2013 · 07/03/2014 19:34

Another one who is still thinking of you and sending love xx

RunAwayHome · 07/03/2014 19:45

I too am still thinking of you and wishing you strength and comfort.

justmuddlingalongsomehow · 07/03/2014 19:48

oh min - sending you love, just lots and lots of love xxx

Hellenbach · 07/03/2014 20:34

Min I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you, so,so sorry x

tinypumpkin · 07/03/2014 21:05

Another wanting to send love your way. No parent should have to say goodbye to their child. It is all so wrong. I am sorry in so many ways. Wishing you gentle days ahead.

Original poster
minmooch · 08/03/2014 16:28

Thank you everyone for your kind words of comfort.

I know I did the best for my son but I am plagued with worries that I did not prepare him for death. All the way through his illness we took our lead from him, he always talked if the future and it was impossible to take hope away from him. He was an intelligent boy and knew all about his illness but I can't stop worrying that he was not prepared.

His funeral is on Tuesday. I have to hold it together until after then.

My darling boy. I hope I didn't fail you. I love you with every beat of my heart.

OP posts:
WashingWashingWashing · 08/03/2014 16:37

Min no way did you fail him. Wishing you strength for Tuesday and afterwards.

Fivemoreminutesmummy · 08/03/2014 16:42

He couldn't have asked for a more wonderful mother. You can't prepare anyone for death without removing some hope and you gave him the gift of hope until the end.
Thinking of you.

Mignonette · 08/03/2014 16:53

Sensitive people take their lead from the person who is ill. Which is what you did. He was telling you what he needed and you were able to do that.

You so did not let him down. xx

Abra1d · 08/03/2014 16:58

I am sure your instinct, and your deep knowledge of and closeness to your son, guided you well, minmooch.

FixItUpChappie · 08/03/2014 17:03

I'm so sorry min. It's beyond words Sad

trulymadlydeeply · 08/03/2014 17:07

You didn't fail Will, Min, and nor did you betray his trust. He wanted to continue with the treatment and you let him lead the way. You respected his decision and his choice, and you trod the road together. No parent could do more than you did to support your child.
There is always guilt and worry when someone dies - and maybe more so when you are the parent because the order is so very, very wrong. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn when I say this.
Thinking of you with much love, especially this Tuesday.
Xxxx

BellaVita · 08/03/2014 19:09

min, sending you much love and strength xx

knickyknocks · 08/03/2014 19:21

min you absolutely did not fail him. You were the most amazing, supportive, loving Mum throughout the horrid path of the illness. You rightly took your lead from him. Gave him the choices, even when you felt he shouldn't have any more treatment as the side effects were so debilitating.

I'm be thinking of you but especially on Tuesday and will light a candle for Will xxx

Original poster
minmooch · 08/03/2014 20:51

Thank you. Your words are very helpful xx

OP posts:
pinkhousesarebest · 08/03/2014 21:06

Min one of your posts really stayed with me. You talked about when Will went back to school and you brought him to class, helping him all the way. And then waited for hours in the car until his lessons finished so that you would be there to help him back down the stairs.

You have so much to bear, but the one comfort should be the knowledge that you could not have done any more for your son.

MrsDeVere · 08/03/2014 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

itsmeitscathy · 08/03/2014 21:28

Min, you did not fail him. You absolutely didn't. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

AlpacaYourThings · 08/03/2014 21:50

min He didn't have control over his illness so giving him the chance to take the lead on how he dealt with it was right thing to do. There isn't a chance that you failed him.

StolenStollen · 08/03/2014 22:15

Still in my thoughts Min. You didn't fail him, you did everything you possibly could Flowers

magimedi · 08/03/2014 22:21

He was 18, he was an adult. You took your lead from him.

You did the right thing & you did not fail him in any way whatsoever.

I don't know you but I think of you & Will & your family several times a day and my heart goes out to you in your grief.

Could you tell us what time the funeral is on Tuesday so that I can have a still moment for you all?

Original poster
minmooch · 08/03/2014 23:07

His funeral will be at 2:30 pm. We have asked people to wear colour as he would have hated everyone wearing mourning colours. We are trying to make it a celebration of his life.

I am very touched by everyone's words - they are bringing me much comfort and I keep reading them. Thank you xx

I am also so sorry for everyone who has been in this or a similar situation xxx

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