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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Think it's hit me now...felt at absolute loss today

45 replies

desperatehousewife · 14/06/2006 18:29

It was 3 weeks ago today that I had to give birth to my second dead baby in a six month period. Sorry to be so hideously blunt, but that's the fact of the matter sadly.

I have been so focused on trying to find out why and investigating specialists that I have not really thought about it too much. Then this morning it just hit me - it just feels too sad to even start to get my head round. I cannot help thinking that I have failed in some way - the babies were both perfectly healthy and i'd had great nuchal scan results for both. What on earth is my body doing to my babies?

I just don't know where to start really and I don't think there's anything that anyone can do either to make things better - nothing is going to change what has happened.

Sorry that this sounds a bit of a rant - just needed to tell a bunch of people that don't know me I guess.

Sorry

OP posts:
CarolinaMoose · 14/06/2006 18:33

I'm so so sorry this has happened Sad.

I don't have any advice, but I can't imagine you'd be able to feel any other way right now Sad.

PanicPants · 14/06/2006 18:35

:( :( how awful, can't even imagine what you're going through. Hugs to you and your dp/dh

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 14/06/2006 18:45

thank you

OP posts:
cupcakes · 14/06/2006 18:46

I'm not surprised you're feeling so low.
Hopefully you might get some answers which will help with understanding.
xx

Twiglett · 14/06/2006 18:47

I am at a loss for words DHW at your sadness

.. you have certainly been through a terribly traumatic time and need to be able to grieve .. rant away if you wish

..{{hugs}}

Frenchgirl · 14/06/2006 18:49

oh DH I can't imagine how you must be feeling Sad
you know you can rant away here
I'm so sorry you've been through all this
xx

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 14/06/2006 18:50

rant rant rant rant (small, quiet scream) rant rant rant rant rant rant!!!!!

Thank you. Bloody mess all of this - talk about taking over your life! NEED another holiday!!

OP posts:
Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 14/06/2006 19:01

So sorry dhw. Sad

LadyTophamHatt · 14/06/2006 19:02

I'm just lost for words DHW.
I'd love to be able to say someting to make you feel better, even tiny bit better would be nice for you at the moment I suspect.

I hope you get some answers soon.
Thinking of you and your Dh...

xxxx

LadySherlockofLGJ · 14/06/2006 19:05

Oh Darling, how did I miss that. Words fail me, so have a cyber hug. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}

motherinferior · 14/06/2006 19:07

I am so sorry.

I can't say anything that will make any difference, but I am so very sorry.

marthamoo · 14/06/2006 19:24

I don't know what to say but I couldn't read and not post - I am so very sorry.

Lemmingswife · 14/06/2006 19:27

Oh, DHW, I am so sorry.Sad Don't know what else to say, but I am very sorry.xxx

saralou100 · 14/06/2006 20:43

dhw, have been thinking of you and how you were doing..... it's such a sad terrible time that you have been through it's not suprising your now feeling like this... we can all suggest ways to help you and advise positive actions to undertake to help you 'cope', but as anyone would say who has lost a child whatever the circumstance, there will be days when your grief will be overwhelming and what else can you do but 'indulge' yourself in this and allow yourself to do so... no apologies are required at times like these so never ever say sorry for being sad at the losses of your babies! time will help, but it will never heal x

hewlettsdaughter · 14/06/2006 20:45

Can you get away for a bit?

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 14/06/2006 20:58

yes - we'd only just had our two week holiday and returned the day before I found out the baby had died. But under these extreme circumstances, we are saying sod it and are in the process of booking another holiday! Any suggestions gratefully received....ideally 2 weeks in term time with some kind of creche alternatively a bunch of villas all sharing a pool so DS has other kids to play with!

OP posts:
Angsthase · 15/06/2006 14:10

DHW - so sorry. Really feel for you. SadSad

A guy at work went to Villa / Pool type thingie in Cyprus - I'll ask him for details if you like.

Original poster
desperatehousewife · 15/06/2006 14:16

yes please

OP posts:
milward · 15/06/2006 14:19

Thoughts are with you dhw xxx

fairyjay · 15/06/2006 14:23

How absolutely awful for you Sad

beansontoast · 15/06/2006 14:34

.....Sad...oh my god thats heartbreaking alright...what a head f*ck too.my heart really goes out to you

i have recently found posting my confused heartfelt rambling thoughts on here to be really really errr..amazing

lots of love

keep posting
xxxx

spidermama · 15/06/2006 14:46

You definitely need and deserve a holiday. There's nothing more important than your health and well being at this point and giving yourself time to grieve.

bundle · 15/06/2006 14:49

oh my love, I'm so so sorry. I was hoping the medics would come back to you with some answers. I hope you manage to find somewhere nice to stay & remember we're all here for you, x

Marina · 15/06/2006 15:00

Go to Corsica - it is warm, sunny, they love children, beautiful, still quietish as the BIG season kicks off in July.
Corsican Places are the best specialist operator to the island IMO.
Heartfelt sympathies to you DHW. Some days you do get that horrible slamming desperate feeling. I remember it so well. Lots of love to you all, especially your ds. Mine would send special love to him too I think, if he knew. XXXX

Marina · 15/06/2006 15:02

DHW, nuchals aside, have you had any results back after your second bereavement, yet? XXX
Tom's nuchal was excellent - better than dd's as it turned out