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Original poster

Trinityrhinos Unspeakably Shit Stuff part two

954 replies

TrinityRhino · 14/05/2013 20:39

Hi everyone
Thank you for so much help and such kind words x

OP posts:
ilovesprouts · 18/05/2013 14:57

not been on mn for a while due to accident,sending hugs and love xx

Mouseface · 18/05/2013 15:09

Trin

Great news re the school dinners, one less thing to worry about :)

Yay for batteries, wees and walks and Cliff's DD being there with you for company, or even just being there. You know what I mean by that.

Other than incredibly sad, lost and low darling, how are you physically feeling germ/snot/adrenaline wise now?

One thing I was thinking about when Nemo was up last night was a about you all doing a memory box. I'm not sure if you did one when Neil died but I was thinking, a memory box would be something that you can add to over time, write things down as they come back to you, put things in that you've kept.....

I have ticket stubs from dates that DH went on to places, train tickets, corks from bottles of fizz we'd shared, (there's not many of them! Grin) sweet wrappers from when he gave me his last Rolo...... that sort of thing :)

Pictures, written stories of what you've all done together, memories of days out, days in, nights up watching movies, his favourite CD or song, a pebble from the beach you walked on together.....

A flower from the garden or a pot that you planted/chose together.... anything. Everything. Things will come back to you when you least expect it.

I'm sorry if now is too painful to consider it Blush and also if someone has already suggested it. Maybe the girls could do one each, a small one and then you could put them all together? Things that are personal to each of them.

Cliff saw the woman in need of love that you'd had to suppress for a while, he saw the strength, saw the fight and the kick ass spirit deep within you, he could see you for the beautiful woman that you are, the woman who knew what she had to do and bloody well did it.

YOU did everything you had to, to get your life back on track after losing Neil. All he did was give you the emotional tools, love and support to do that. He'll always hold your hand sweetheart, he'll always feather your wings and make you stronger because he's shown you how now, that will never leave you darling. xx

I know you miss him so, so much, I know. Maybe a box would ease the pain, help it to fade, help you to block out the terrible void by being reminded of the fabulous times you all shared with your wonderful gentle giant, Cliff.

Much love to you all.

Please just say if I can help with anything,

Mouse xxxx

Original poster
TrinityRhino · 18/05/2013 16:30

lovely post mouse Smile thankyou x

the girls each have a memory box for neil and I fully intend to do that again with them for Cliff.

ive just had some more yummy lasagne

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinityRhino · 18/05/2013 16:31

please excuse all typos and shit punctuation
not good at using my phone to type

OP posts:
Mouseface · 18/05/2013 18:20

I'm just queen of typos! Mind you, lack of sleep can be today's excuse!! Grin

I thought that you had with Neil, I'm glad you're going to do another, but so very saddened that you have to in the first place Sad xx

Original poster
TrinityRhino · 18/05/2013 20:38

everytime my little girls cry cause they want 'cliffy' my heart rips apart a little more

OP posts:
Almostfifty · 18/05/2013 21:48

It will.

Just keep on being as strong and marvellous as you're being and you'll all get through this.

The first few weeks are just raw pain, but you will feel better in time. xx

PacificDogwood · 18/05/2013 21:51
Sad

I am so sorry (and angry on your and their behalf) that your girls have to learn about death in such a cruel way. 'Tis not fucking fair.

Nothing to add. Sorry. xx

MelodyBaker · 18/05/2013 22:35

Sad I wish I knew what to say. Thinking of you, your girls and cliffs family x

FromGirders · 18/05/2013 23:44

Thinking of you all Trin.
Hang on in there.
Hugs to all of you.

Original poster
TrinityRhino · 19/05/2013 06:00

been awake a while
snot is lessening
not having my laptop is annoying me now
I want my photos. I have troubke posting using my phone
my dad sent me some money so I have ordered our new 'sanctuary'
it'll be nice not having springs poking me

OP posts:
Original poster
TrinityRhino · 19/05/2013 06:04

spag bol for the kids tonight
chicken curry for me and cliffs daughter.

what can I call her?
cdd1?

OP posts:
LittlePebble · 19/05/2013 06:08

Morning Trinity, I'm so sorry to read your thread, I hope the sun shines on you and your girls today.

CDD1 sounds fine to me.

Can you access photos on your phone?

Original poster
TrinityRhino · 19/05/2013 06:37

I dont understand how I can be so tired but not be able to sleep Sad
I dont know how my girls are going to come through this Sad
I dont know when my heart is going to stop hurting so much Sad

OP posts:
LittlePebble · 19/05/2013 07:02

Sad I wish I could offer some comfort Trinity.

You're girls WILL come through this because they have you.

Eskino · 19/05/2013 07:18

Morning Trin.

I'm sorry you are hurting. The hurt comes from the deep love you have for Cliff. But it will subside, slowly. I know you know this from before.

You're in my thoughts sweetheart.

PacificDogwood · 19/05/2013 08:00

Oh, Trinity.
You will all come through this because you have each other. And because you have no choice Sad.
If Cliff was gone and you did not care it would, in some ways, be sadder IYWKIM. The fact you are hurting says so much about how good a thing you had going. His dying is part of the random cruelness of life in my eyes.
The hurt will become less acute, in time.
Much love x.

Mouseface · 19/05/2013 12:27

Oh Trin

I'm sorry you can't get to your photo's. Is it just the charger? Is that all it is?

What kind of charger do you need? I'm sure someone must have one they aren't using anymore. We have loads of chargers that we don't use and are just laying in a box, none are Mac though..... everyone has chargers they don't use or need.

Is that all you need to get to them? Were they backed up to icloud or SkyDrive? Anything like that? A Dropbox? I know this sounds all techy but we must be able to get them for you somehow sweetheart. xx

Mouseface · 19/05/2013 12:30

I'm breaking my posts up 'cos you're on your phone, smaller posts are easier to read.

Re CDD1 that's fine, or you can give her a nickname. Something more personal if you want to, we don't know her do we so her identity is safe.

YAYAYAY for huge bed and sanctuary on order! Sounds fab sweetheart. xx

Mouseface · 19/05/2013 12:39

You know that the worst is yet to come..... the girls know that too.

In the coming days, you are going to have to take your life minute by minute and deal with whatever comes you way as and when it happens....

It's going to get much harder. We're there with you though, via your phone, your PC, the either, whatever, we are all sat with you, every minute of every day.

Well, maybe not when you're in the shower, you do need a little privacy! Wink

Sweetheart, you are doing so very well but please, remember that you are allowed to be sad, and lonely, and cross, and sorry, and lost, and so fucked off with life etc.... you don't have to be brave all of the time.

Let it out when you can, when you need too. Do what feels right.

Talk, talk and talk some more if that helps. CDD1 will know so many daft and funny things about him, why not get everyone together and have a day of funny stories? Happy memories? A day of sharing everything? The good, the bad and That Hat? Grin

Please know that we're all here for you, even when you think you are actually alone, maybe, physically you are for that short while but we're here Trin. Just a post away, a text or a call for some of us too. :)

Lots of love to you all,

Mouse xx

chinam · 19/05/2013 14:59

I'm another one who was too slow to get to post on your original thread. My sincere condolences to you on this terrible loss. You seem like an amazingly strong lady.

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 19/05/2013 17:23

Ten of us sat at lunch yesterday and spoke of you and your family. I suspect the same will be true of the rash of meet-ups happening this week.
The people posting on your threads are the tip of the iceberg, there are hundreds of us all over the country, and the world actually, thinking of you , wishing we could help.

magimedi · 19/05/2013 19:54

^^ What Bewitched said.

I am new (ish) to MN & have pieced together your story from the two threads on here.

Every time I log on I come to this thread first in case you need a hand.

Your situation is beyond the worst shit I could imagine but there is always someone here for you.

AuldAlliance · 19/05/2013 19:59

Trinity, I'm thinking of you daily from the south of France. Admiring your courage, wishing you didn't need to make such use of it, wishing I could help.
Can you give details of what charger you need? There might be an old one knocking around at work I could let you have.

Portofino · 19/05/2013 20:50

When will the funeral be Trin? Will you do a reading or anything? I know MN are fab at finding moving and yet Appropriate stuff. I really hope your friends will be there to support you. This is all so sad. Xx

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