As we go through this painful journey together

[lavandes]

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

Happy Birthday, Matt!

hi expat, how are you doing ?

hi Expat how are you doing?
I seem to remember Aillidh's birthday is coming soon ( my DS2 was born only a week or so later on the 13th July, so it stuck in my mind).

not sure what to say.

My weekend (vanilla) candle is lit for you and your family tonight Shabs I like to think that my Richard will have baked a brilliant birthday cake for your Matt and they are partying now. xxx

Thanks for all your support my friends.

Lavandes you know me too well vanilla (and coconut) are my favourite scents.

Glad its almost the end of the day xx

sleep well honey.
you'll always see your lovely Matty in your dreams!

Morning girls xx

Morning everyone x

Morning. My eldest daughter is 18 today but it is also tinged with sadness as it is exactly one month since Seren died.

morning all x

Snorris I hope you can enjoy your DD's birthday - I don't think anyone will expect you to put your grief aside for a day, but I hope this birthday might be a little welcome distraction and a source of happiness for today.

big hugs x

Snorris - Happy Birthday to your DD - WOW 18 - thats a special birthday.

If you are anything like me you will pin on a smile and pretend everything is OK. I hope the day goes well but it will be filled with thoughts about Seren. Am sending my love to you and yours and I will be virtually by your side if you need me xxxxxxx

snorris I'm here too. xx

Morning girls xx

Shabba, I hope Matty's birthday passed peacefully. You are an amazing help to all on here and the way you help others is a beautiful tribute to your precious boys.

snorris, I hope your DD's 18th went as well as it could have. It is so hard to have the energy for anything but grief in the early months and that mask has to go on to get through days where cheerfulness and celebration are called for. The energy does return xx

July...it's here. Sean's first anniversary on the 9th. I'm thinking of James and Allidh too. This has been the longest year of my life - some days felt like a year - but the past two months have sped by and now we are here. I wish I knew what to do on his anniversary but I don't. We wanted a quiet day, but this morning, I suddenly want everyone to come to the beach and send tea lights off in little paper boats. My DH won't want that. Too many friends have dispersed and we don't know who is left. I think DH and I will go for a quiet walk in the day, no doubt stopping at the cemetary, and take the kids to see a film in the evening. No need for words. I feel quite blank since going on AD's, like nothing really touches me.

Love to you all xxx

Thank you Saint....it was a quiet, reflective, odd kind of day. xxx

hello everyone.
how are you all.

I got myself over-involved with a thread. I'm really annoyed with myself for getting sucked in.

I don't think it's ok to "drag" other threads over, so I won't say anything.
but it was something about kids and I got carried away.

how long before I learn to not do that? I was like that all my life. got me into trouble sometimes.
I'm too passionate.

I must remember to "not throw my pearls in front of swines". grrrr.
sorry. had to vent

You should always be yourself, in my opinion. I have lost my mind many, many times on MNet. xx

Hello all, been AWOL for a bit, didn't really know what to say anymore. Had what should have been Dexters 1st birthday on the 21st June, was a very emotional day, and felt so sad for my boys, who were excited it was his birthday but didn't really know what to do. We took them to an animal oak to try and make something of the day.

In other news I should really change my name to my6boysandme, our little boy Gregor was born last Thursday 27th weighing in at 7lb 2oz. He is just lovely, but the fear and anxiety that something will go wrong is crippling. I'm scared to look at him in the night. He has a breathing monitor so rationally I know he will be fine when I check him, however the irrational side wins out every time.

Hoping as each day passes it gets easier, but now we're on the lead up to Dexters 1st anniversary....

congratulations on baby Gregory! what wonderful news! yay!
so happy for you!

and yes, you must namechange!

your anxiety is more than understandable.
this first few weeks and months no doubt will be very hard for you as he brings back so many memories of Dexter.
I presume you'll be anxious about him getting closer to being the same age as Dexter was when he passed away.
I would be. I don't think I would be able to stop comparing them.

I think I would sometimes end up pretending it is him. It's tempting to try and feel as if he was near you again. ( I did that with DD a few times, is that odd? )

but soon Gregory will show his own personality and I hope you will be able to worry less as he grows older and stronger.

I'm hoping I'm not saying the wrong this. I would not want to upset you.
I just want to say that I understand that it is very tricky to have a rainbow baby.
it can be bittersweet. it was for me anyway.

kiss babyG's toes for me please!
( I love baby toes! mwah)

oh sorry, Gregor. I misread it.
oops!

myfive, first of all, congratulations on Gregor! I love the name but then I have a Greg so am biased!

And yes, you will of course be worried about him. The only thing I will say is that your other boys were all fine, it was just horrible bad luck that Dexter was taken from you. There is no reason to suppose that Gregor will be at risk. But you will heave a sigh of relief with every month he lives.

Welcome to the world Gregor xxxx How wonderful xxx

Congratultions on baby Gregor, what a gorgeous name xxx

Morning girls xx

wonderful news my6
what a lovely name gregor xx

so happy for you and your family

keep us posted on how its all going xxxxxx