Beatrice died on 24th October aged 1 year, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day. She was buried on 2nd November. As she starts her new life as a butterfly, we are left on the ground feeling bewildered and bereft. I read a short piece at her funeral, and I stand by it:
'I often felt that being Beatrice's mum was much like holding a butterfly. I was in awe of her beauty and felt so privileged that she had chosen to come to me. But, much like a butterfly, I knew that one day she would spread her wings and fly away.
When Beatrice was one day old, a kind stranger shared this poem with me, and it sums up how I feel about Beatrice:
"A butterfly lights besides us like a sunbeam. And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belongs to the world.
But then it flies once again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it."
I feel so lucky to have been chosen as Beatrice's mum and I truly believe that the immense grief we must now suffer is still a small price to play for the love she brought into our lives.
Goodnight Beatrice'
I still feel her love in my heart, but I am struggling without her in my arms. I miss caring for her and kissing her. Looking at her and stroking her hair. Singing to her, always singing so many songs. I haven't sung a song since she died, but I don't want the music to leave my life as it means I have let the grief win.
Fly high little butterfly, but please don't forget all of us left behind who hold you, still so fragile, in our hearts and memories. Please don't forget me, Beatrice x
Bereavement
'What the caterpillar perceives is the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.' Our journey after Beatrice
cupofteaplease · 06/11/2012 21:05
Hope DD2 is better now, Cup - it must be terrifying. :( I have enough Fear about my boys getting seriously ill, it must be so much worse when you've already had the worst thing happen to one of your children 
I think you're right that it's best not know what will happen; we'd forget to live in the moment while waiting for the blows to fall. :(
Dd2's tummy is much better now thank you 
the GP said it was masenteric adenitis (sp), but once it was so prolonged, I realised it was more of an anxiety issue. I spoke to the siblings counsellor at the hospice and she agreed it sounded like a separation anxiety.
We've dealt with it as best we could, and I'm happy to report that she seems much happier. She's competing in a regional gymnastics competition on Saturday, so fingers crossed she's feeling brave.
Remembering Beatrice today Cup hope you and the tea set are all well x
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