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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

M/C. MY UPDATE & HELP NEEDED

39 replies

CarlyP · 06/03/2006 14:10

Hi Everyone!

Well since finding uot on 17/2 there was no heartbeat, i have been bleeding since then. went to epu friday and dr removed some 'retained tissue' and done a blood test.

today 06/03 the blood loss has turned to 'brown' (mostly) and seems to be finally slowing down.

however the bloods still had my hcg at 299. which they said was to high and i have to go back on friday for more bloods and a scan. any hcg stayed 'high' what is the reason and what is 'normal' hcg meant to be?

i have really dry patches of skin on my hands and arms since this. could it be the stress?

hope everyones well. i would be coming upto 12wks this week. its wierd. but after bleeding for nrly 3wks i just hope it stops soon.

sending my love to all of you.

OP posts:

Original poster

CarlyP · 15/03/2006 11:10

bleeding finally stopped! few tum pains, but ok.

and i won a makeover for tony and guy next week! so happy, its for the baby channel (posted on media requests). so excited. jsut what i need!

hope you are all well.

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 15/03/2006 12:17

Carlyp so glad your bleeding has stopped now and wow a fab makeover for free now thats not bad hey. You enjoy your makeover next week just what you deserve. x

FirstNikki · 24/03/2006 15:07

Hi Carlyp how are you now? and how was the makeover??

Original poster

CarlyP · 27/03/2006 12:34

hi firstnikki,

makeover was fun. had hair cut and color. make-up wasa bit hideous, but i dont wear any normally, so a bit of s hock.

u ok?

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 28/03/2006 10:42

glad the make over was fun carlyp I always worry about make up being put on me by others I don't usually wear an awful lot and its pretty much down to their "creativity" I bet you felt fab with your hair done, especially at tony and guy.

I am ok thank you getting there its all down to time isn't it really. Mothers day wasn't the same it was just a reminder. Trying to get into shape and get my life in order, hoping that positive life attitude will pull me through.

Original poster

CarlyP · 28/03/2006 11:47

im hainvg amy first 'bad' day since the m/c.

feel v down. got to do my objectives at work and my boss said 'where do u want to be at the end '06' and i said, i thought i wouldnt be here and i would have had my baby.....

cant write objectives when i know i didnt want to be here....could cry any minute. is pathetic really.

my positive attitude has just stopped it seems.....

had a lovely day mothers day, only thought about it briefly and the boys kept me busy!....just now i feel i should be 'normal' and i cant be today.

hope you are doing ok.

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 28/03/2006 12:41

Don't be so hard on yourself Carlyp, and you are not pathetic its emotions and grief coming out it can happen at any time. I really do understand how the grief can bite you unexpected. Be kind to yourself, can you do your objectives tomorrow when might feel a little better? Maybe have a plan for work and then when you get pg again change it at that point, a bit like a back up plan? (I am working on mine too at the moment)

Thinking of you hun. {{{hugs}}} xxxx

Original poster

CarlyP · 28/03/2006 12:58

thanks first nikki.

i feel i am being pulled in every direction at the moment. been working form 7am til 8/9/10pm some nights. ds1 has a sprained ankle so got to leave tot ake him to the hosp as its not getting any better today...

done my objectives. they look ok to me, so handed them in. some days i think it happened for a reason and today i think 'y me...'

oh well, lifes cr&p at times. jsuthave to get on with it.

now to ask my boss for this afternoon off......

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 28/03/2006 13:33

wow carlyp you have been working too hard my darling you need this afternoon off to relax too after taking ds1 to drs/hospital. what do you do for a living? I bet you have been working really hard and keeping yourself busy and today has just made you think about this year. Give yourself some time to grief hunny. xx

Hope ds1 is ok soon.

FirstNikki · 28/03/2006 13:33

sorry grieve not grief.

Original poster

CarlyP · 28/03/2006 19:22

i work for a bank in london doing ua testing. (project mgr stuff!) have been working hard, think trying to keep/take my mind off of things.

took son to hosp, hes fine.

then went to look for carpet!

got really bad af type pains. think period must be on its way. now 5wks since m/c and 2 wks since bleeding stopped, so i suppose anytime now.

not sure when/if ill ever grieve. its wierd. feel so detached from it, like it never happened.

hope you are doing ok.

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 29/03/2006 09:34

retail therapy is great isn't it? last november we bought a settees

glad ds is fine too.

with regard to af I hate the waiting...I guess I am too impatient. I mean it shouldn't really matter when I do really cos I am not actively ttc'g at the moment.

Hope today is a better day for you x

Original poster

CarlyP · 29/03/2006 09:38

feeling better today. thinkning about redcing my hours at work....maybe ttc at the end of the yr.

appreciating what ive got rather than what i dont have.

where abouts do you live first nikki? im in sheering (essex/herts)

OP posts:

FirstNikki · 29/03/2006 10:51

I live near Leicester Carly.

Your change of thought to appreciating what you have is a good start to focus on. Reduced hours sound a good idea too considering how many you work I was astonished. They get their money worth with you, I hope they appreciate you.

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