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Bereavement

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Original poster

My father died yesterday

31 replies

thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:24

He was old, I'll but was up a ladder pruning a fruit tree, fell off and sustained a bad head injury, only my db was able to get to him in time at hospital. Feel numb and empty, I am here with my mum.

Just an awful awful day of not being able to get anywhere fast enough.

Haven't eaten since yesterday lunch time Feel sick and can't swallow need to be strong

OP posts:
Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:25

That should say ill

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yellowkiwi · 15/01/2012 07:30

Sorry for your loss. What a terrible shock for you all.

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:33

Just want to go home and pretend it hasn't happened, can't imagine how I will have the strength for today

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Tinwe · 15/01/2012 07:37

So sorry to hear of your loss, often losing a parent is especially difficult too as it can highlight how your role in the family has changed. It must have been a terrible shock too, despite his age... so glad your brother could make it there in time to be with him.
Your mum is lucky to have you and your brother, are there any more family members able to help offer you all support? Please try to eat something, even if it's just something liquid like soup or yoghurt at first. It will become harder to eat the longer you leave it and make your mood worse if you don't and, as you said, you need to keep your strength up.
Thinking of you

CaptainMartinCrieff · 15/01/2012 07:40

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Sonotwonderwoman · 15/01/2012 07:41

Sorry for your loss. Will be thinking of you and your family today.

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:43

Thank you having a sweet cup of tea before we get up to face the day.
So weird to come home to see his breakfast dishes still on the table and slippers by the door.
He was found unconscious by the postman, my mum was 200 miles away babysitting for me and dh it's our 10 th anniversary, it was all so stressful, so much adrenaline

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StickAForkInMeImDone · 15/01/2012 07:45

Sad So sorry to hear of your loss. Be kind and gentle with yourself,and remember that however you feel at any given minute it is ok to feel like that.
Try and eat something, anything.
Thinking of you
x

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:45

Say a little prayer for me to cope with it all. Sister was in Los Angeles on business so had to break news to her, she will arrive later today.
Other sis in oz is in a bad way, other db is in Spain.

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StickAForkInMeImDone · 15/01/2012 07:46

Will say a prayer for you.

xx

Sonotwonderwoman · 15/01/2012 07:49

Oh, kingfisher, what a shock for you all for it to happen in those circumstances, on what was a joyous occasion.
Bananas are good if you can manage one.

Cristiane · 15/01/2012 07:50

Oh no, what's a horrible shock for you all. Things will seem unbelievable and shocking for quite a while.

Things like shoes, handwriting, clothes.. So poignant and sad.

Everyone deals with it in different ways

Wen I look back n my DF's death, eight years ago, sudden too, family gathered from all corners and I look back on it as an incredibly sad time but also a time when we were all there together.

Take your time over everything. The grief didn't hit me properly for six months. Before then it was just shock.

I am sending lots of strength and brightness for the days ahead. Saying a prayer for you.

storminabuttercup · 15/01/2012 07:51

So sorry for your loss. X

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 07:51

Thankyou

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Mrsrobertduvall · 15/01/2012 07:53

I am very sorry for you and your family....what a terrible accident.
Do take care.

Thumbwitch · 15/01/2012 07:54

very sorry for your loss, the suddenness of it is always a horrible shock, I know. It's my big fear for my own Dad, as I am also in Australia and he is in the UK. My sister would be there but still, it would break my heart too.

It will get easier to bear eventually - I hope you can all pull together and support each other through this time. (((hugs))) for you all xx

TheHumancatapult · 15/01/2012 07:54

So sorry for your loss . I could not cry at first as to busy dealing with the practical stuff then bring string for everyone else

But sone pint take a step back and let it out , even if you feel you can only do it in private where no one else can see you crumple

TheHumancatapult · 15/01/2012 07:57

Kingfisher

Even now almost 5 years on, something can spark mr of and my heart aches with missing him

.but be kind to yourself AA is such early days for yourself

SpanglyGiraffe · 15/01/2012 08:03

So sorry for you loss, what an awful accident.
I'll echo what others have said, try & eat something, even if it's not much.
My thoughts are with you & your family.

JugglingWithSnowballs · 15/01/2012 08:16

I'm so sorry kingfisher
What a huge shock and loss for you all.
Perhaps in time you can all be thankful that DBro was able to get to the hospital in time to be with him.
Love to you all x

AThingInYourLife · 15/01/2012 08:19

So sorry for your loss x

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 08:24

He wasn't allowed up the ladder and I can imagine the frisson of excitement he,ll have had knowing that mummy was not there to stop him so he could prune the bloody thing.Smile

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randommoment · 15/01/2012 08:34

Sorry for you and your family's loss. Try and get some tea and toast down.

everlong · 15/01/2012 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
thekingfisher · 15/01/2012 23:55

Had a day of extremes, went to tesco and for a walk then my dsis arrived and it's got moreand more emotional.mIve come to bed as I don,t want to talk anymore.

I really miss my dh and ds they are 200 miles away and I need to work out how long I am away for. Never been away from ds for more than 2 days.
Think if we can get the fu real sorted at least dates I might be able to get back on Wednesday or thursday.

As more details emerge of ddad,s accident I know he wasn't wholly conscious. What I had to do though that I've only told dh is that there was lots of blood on one of the flower beds, I didn't want mummy or dsis to see so image sure I dug it over, but it's so hard seeing such visible signs of a violent accident.

Thank you for all your comments it means so much that someone is thi king of us and me. It's that thing of unconditional thought I really like, it comes with no preconceptions just thoughts of what place others are in emotionally, and right now I,m so sad

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