When does spotting become something more - help

[pollingfold]

Help...I have been spotting for a few days, although not a huge quantity it is becoming progressively darker brown and more sluggy ( sorry but don't know how else to say it). I have read everywhere here about other peoples experiences, but when should I start to worry (more than I am now) and call doctor. You are all the only people I know to turn to. I have had a few minor cramps - and just put those down to stretching etc. Am I just being paranoid or is this the first stage of m/c. Am at work in stupid open plan office so ability to talk to doctor is limited.

I read that the chances were exactly the same. It on some medical report done in the US. Maybe there is conflicting evidence on this. The only thing I saw that I would point out was that it can 'sometimes' make lining a little thinner but if it implants ok then chnaces of success are same as normal conceived pgcy!

pollingfold, I'm glad to hear from you again. It is true that time is a great healer - I can even mention my miscarriage now without bursting into tears (well, most of the time). I know people who have had miscarriages and I've read the stories here, but until I had one I didn't realise how devastating it can be. Naayie, I can't imagine what you've been through. It is so uplifting how positive and supporting everyone is.

hi. have added to other threads. well i have been spotting altho pos test but now am bleeding heavily. had 2 mcs before and then a lovely daughter. i feel sad of course but not so bad asi did beforei had a child. i also feel that it was not meant to be. i know mcs are very common and i know you have to have 3 in a row before any investigations are carried out and so i do not qualify but why oh why does this keep happening to me. seems more than chance. i do not drink alcohol hardly at all but have one realcoffee in the morning. any ideas?

Brunhilda, I'm sorry to hear your news. It just seems so unfair.

I just wanted to say that my heart is going out to all of you who are going through this at the moment. It is terribly terribly hard and sad for anyone to go through and it is particularly on my mind at the moment as it is a year ago this week that I lost my baby at 12 weeks. My DH didn't remember and didn't seem to think it was important as I am 29 weeks pregnant now. But although the pain is less than it was it still hurts and makes me sad when I think of the little one that I lost. I don't think I will ever forget the experience ... and although m/cs are so common and everyone knows at least someone who has had one, for the individual you still feel real grief ...
Thinking of you all and sending massive big hugs from me to you {{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Love, Ghosty xxx

Thank you Azure and Ghosty and I am really pleased to hear about your pregnancy Ghosty. if I had had either of the 2 I lost then I would have already been pregnant when my little daughter was conceived. I love her! I do have a sense in me of what will be will be, of 'thy will be done'. I did light candles for the 2 I lost as well as the one I have. That is my way of dealing with it. The doc was great when I lost my second one - she said it is a roll of the dice every time and that next time might be different but she could not guarantee it - just keep trying she said and I dod nad the n next month my darling baby was conceived.

But are some women more suseptible than others?

I think for some women there is a reason why they have miscarried and if that reason can be discovered, then hopefully something can be done about it. For others, it seems that it's just a bad roll of the dice. The difficulty is knowing which group you fall into.

agree with hewlettsdaughter here as well. And unless you have had 3, that's 3 in a row, not a lot of medical investigation is considered. Harsh but true. My gp told me recently that if these clinics saw every woman who suffered from 2 m/c in a row, the system would be extremely overloaded and unable to cope. It's having that 3rd one that may provide answers for some women. Terribly upsetting to think that you would need another one to have the chance to get these answers.
Brunhilda, I'm really sorry that you have had another m/c. It must be so very raw for your right now. There's so little that I can say....I have had a lot of support and read positive stories here on mumsnet. Trawl through old threads. It really helped me with a lot of things. I had a m/c nearly 3 weeks ago, and also lost a baby in June of this year. I have a dd who is 2, and another m/c before she was born. We aren't the only ones here who have suffered so much heartache in unhealthy pregnancies, so please post here and you'll get lots of support and understanding . Hope you have people around you that are giving you lots of tlc at this awful time,
love hana

Ghosty, I'm sorry that your dh didn't remember the date. I had earlier told my dh that Dec 26 was going to be a difficult day for us.....he asked why?......that was the edd for the baby we lost at 13 weeks in June of this year. I don't think the fathers keep things like that in their minds, they move on a lot faster. I asked him if he knew what the edd of the latest m/c was, and he didn't. I think these dates are so fixed in our minds from the minute we are pregnant (and look it up or hear it from the gp) I'll never forget the edd of any of the babies I've lost.
I hope the day is an easy one for you and that you have some time to thing about your little one that never made it.
hana
x

Brunhilda, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for your loss, it's heartbreaking isnt it? I have had a very difficult day (some are so much worse than others) and am feeling really angry that I have had 2 m/cs AND fertility problems. I desperately want someone to tell me why it has happened to me but noone can and I want to scream and cry about it. Brunhilda, please dont dwell on things you might have done to cause the miscarriage it isnt your fault, it really isnt (of course I can sympathise because I still blame myself at times). Take care of yourself.

I second what bunny says, Brunhilda - when I said that for some women there is a reason why they have miscaried, I meant a physical reason, one that is not their fault. Don't beat yourself up about what you might have done or not done, concentrate on grieving/looking forward, whatever helps you.

Sorry you had a bad day bunny

Bunny, thinking of you. LOLxxxxx

Thank you Quacks, you too! Thanks HD. I do feel better today, out for a curry tonight, that always cheers me up.

Brunhilda,i am sorry for what you are going through. It is so easy to blame yourself, but you must try not to, unfortunantly, many women miscarry, my doctor said 1 in 2. Ive had alot of friends go through it, but when it actually happened to me it was different, i now finally understand the hurt and pain and grieving process you have to through before you can go back to some kind of normality again, we carry the pregnancy hormones in our body for up to 8 wks after, so it does take time, doesnt it. Ive found that support from dh and loved ones is what helped me. You will get through it too. Good luck and love to youxxx
Bunny, hope you are o.k, i am thinking of you too, got my fingers double crossed for you. I know what you mean about having a bad day, had several myself, one minute i will be ok then il see a pregnant woman and that will be it, its enough to reduce me to tears. I guess its all part of our grieving process, these hormones seriously need to get back to normal, for my dh sake, atleast! Hes been a diamond. Good luck and love to youxxx
Naayie, hi, how are you? hope all is well with you today. Im feelling much better thankyou, I still have the odd tear but trying to get on with life to be honest. Dh is wonderful, with his support hes helping me get back to normal. Although he was sad at the time of my m/c, he was relieved i was fine more than anything. take care n. lots of luck and lovexxx
Ghosty, hope your having a nice healthy problem free pregnancy-congratulations!!

Thank you very much my lovely mumsnet friends. I respect you all and really wish you well.