Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Recently out of hospital after ectopic- anyone been though this?

37 replies

whatonearth · 18/12/2005 11:29

I?d only know that I was pregnant for about 4 days, it was my first and a bit of a surprise, but we were quickly overcome by excitement and feeling ?special?. After a trip to casualty they rushed me in for a laparoscopy and found loads of bleeding and an ectopic. They operated and also had to remove my tube.
The thing was I couldn?t help getting excited even though it was early days and now I just feel really sad. (Not to mention, bruised, sore and weepy anyway). Really really trying not to think of the future as I don?t want to start stressing. The approach this time round had been v relaxed just stop contraception forget about it and see what happens. I so didn?t want to make a big deal out of ttc, but of course I can?t ever take that approach again (been told it would be too much of a risk not to know for a start). I am shitting it that I?ll end up focusing on it, terrified that it won?t ever happen, really scared that I might have another ectopic??god the list is endless.
Also a bit pissed off that it happened to me and that other people are breezing though ttc and successful in first month, healthy stress free pregnancy etc?.. (Normal I guess?)
Any positive stories of from anyone would be gratefully received,
Ta

OP posts:
Nemoinapeartree · 18/12/2005 11:35

hi hun
not had eptopic but had mc 3 times. Also just had my second baby on fri. There is some really good support on here and others who will have experienced eptopic pregnancies and offer advice. Just wanted to say its a bit quiet on a sun so dont feel ignored people will answer.

hugs xxxxxxxxxxx

lovecloud · 18/12/2005 11:39

Hello

I am sorry to hear you had to go through that - life can be crap sometimes. And I know I would feel just like you "Why me?".

My sister had an ectopic pregnancy, they found out when she was quite a few weeks. She did fall pregnant again and conceived a healthy baby with a painless pregnancy. I am sure you will hear from many more people who will tell you the same. I do not know much about ectopic pregnancies and why they happen. Did the doctors explain to you, this can help to understand why.

It may seem like alot of people conceive first time on here but that is not the big picture. It does take people more than one try, I only know two people who succeeded first go, most were about 3 - 6 months.

All I can say is relax and have as much sex around as possible especially around the 14 days after your period. Every woman is ovualtes at different time and 14 days is only a rough guide but it works for lots of people.

Goodluck and I am sure you will be experiencing a healthy pregnancy soon.

Lots of love
x

vitomum · 18/12/2005 11:45

i am going to visit my good friend and her one day old baby daughter today. she had also previosuly been through an ectopic and it was very hard. i know she used www.ectopic.org.uk a lot as a good source of information and support. i hope you get your questions answered and things work out. it is a difficult and confusing time for you but there are a lot of positive stories from people who have had ectopics.

ebbie22 · 18/12/2005 11:51

Hope you are doing as well as can be expected....havent ever had an eptopic but did have a tube and ovary removed,and now have 2 specail babiies..though one took its time..not the same but wwanted you to know people do care....feel free to cat me if u need to talk xxx

Original poster
whatonearth · 18/12/2005 11:57

thanks,
I know it's very early days, but it's just the not knowing. Will it all be fine, how long might it take...... and I know no one can give me any real answers...
I still have both ovaries and the remaining tube looks good (there was no scaring or anything in the one they removed either)
Ebbie, do you mind me asking, are you over 30? I'm 32 so it things taking years could be a bit of a prob.....
Probably shouldn't even be thinking about it yet should I?

OP posts:
going4potty · 18/12/2005 12:12

Hi, whatonearth, I am one week post laproscopy and salpingectomy, I had an ectopic but knew things were wrong as i started spotting quite early. I am 31 and already have a beautiful ds and even b4 the bleeding my symptoms were not at all like my previous pregnancy so i knew something was different. I only knew i was pregnant for 3 weeks the day of the op. I know how you feel. Although we conceived quickly both times, i cant help but worry that things have now changed forever and that we may struggle to conceive if we do at all. Im angry too, as i did everything right and actually got myself healthier than i did for ds. All i can say is take it easy and dont lift etc, really rest yourself up. At the mo i now have an infection in one of the stiches which i have antibiotics for but its made me more paranoid. So keep seeing your gp and if you feel anything is amiss dont hesitate to see them. The pain is excruciating and i still start crying at nothing in the middle of the day. But you should just let yourself heal both emotionally and physically at you own pace. Ifyou need any support or just someone to talk to that knows how you feel just cat me or catch me on the ttc after miscarraige thread. I feel my emotions are all over the place, but find talking about it helps, just do what works for you and big(((((hugs))))))).

Original poster
whatonearth · 18/12/2005 12:26

oh I am sorry, it's rubbish isn't it? I'm suprised by how upset I am.
DH is being great and I am taking it very easy. Starting to get a bit bored to be honest!
Let me know how you get on....
Take care

OP posts:
Epiffany · 18/12/2005 12:30

I had this last November whatonearth
Had positive test
the next night started spotting
woke up at 4 am with hideous pians and passing out
ambulance
surgery one tube out and a huge gash
I had the full laparotomy did yours get done under laproscopy?
I hope you're ok
also it is possible to concieve with one tube, a lot of people came on here after my ectopci and told me they had done so, one lady even had twins.
I also shhh shss just had + test yesterday, we were not actually ttc so in shock
Let yourself heal and try to enjoy xmas and then the new year may hold something special....

Epiffany · 18/12/2005 12:31

ps I'm 35

going4potty · 18/12/2005 12:31

i know what u mean about the boredom

golds · 18/12/2005 12:37

So sorry for your loss, I know how you are feeling.

On April 29 this year, I was doubled up in pain, I knew something was wrong, I was approximately 8 weeks PG, I went for a scan and my tube had ruptured. I lost 1lt of blood in 20mins and was incredibly lucky (so Ive been told). I have been OK, had my weepy days and still have thoughts of how lucky I am to be alive. My baby was due Monday just gone.

Take your time, talk if you want too, its OK to grieve for one so small. I found the ectopic web site a great help, they offer great emotional support.

I was told at my check up to leave TTC for three cycles, gives your body time to return to normal. Just remember that if your become PG again, you will be put in the right hands immediately. Take care x

going4potty · 18/12/2005 12:38

good luck epi, let us know how it goes

Epiffany · 18/12/2005 12:47

I remember you golds I think i posted after you had it too...
Like you I was able to be happy to be alive as I was pretty close as well.
Hope you're ok now

Original poster
whatonearth · 18/12/2005 18:58

Thank you all so much for being supportive, sorry to hear about your experience golds, thanks for posting support at such a rough time.
And huge fingers crossed for you epi, nice to hear a positive story?.
Had a huge cry this morning and feel better for it. Will just see how next few months treat me.
Love to all

OP posts:
Mirage · 18/12/2005 22:25

whatonearth I'm sorry to hear your news.

I second the suggestion of visiting the Ectopic Pregnancy website-they are very supportive.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in Sept 2002.We were over the moon that I was pregnant,as we had been trying for years & had been told our chances were non existant.We were both shocked & heartbroken over the whole thing.

However,I was pregnant again 7 wks later & had a healthy little girl & a year later,got pregnant again at the 1st attempt & had another lovely little girl in May this year.I was nearly 35 when I had my ectopic & my 2nd pregnancy & nearly 36 when I concieved dd2.

We never found out why I had an ectopic & probably never will & I still think about the baby we lost,especially on the anniversary of my op & the day it was due to have been born.The pain is still there,but it is less raw.

I hope that 2006 is a better year for you & that you have a healthy pregnancy soon.

onlyjoking9329 · 18/12/2005 22:42

sorry to hear about your ectopic, we were ttc for two years got pregnant and at eight weeks i had an ectopic, went for follow up appt six weeks later to be told, you need to look at IVF, we didn't know it then but i was pregnant already, i went on to have twin girls, then two years later got pregnant again which ended at eight weeks when i lost it, then went on to have a baby boy, so there is hope, i then went on to donate my eggs and they had a baby girl, give it time and then keep trying, good luck.

nickiey · 20/12/2005 11:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
whatonearth · 21/12/2005 13:48

Gosh I am soooo tired, I can't believe how shattered I get just doing the smallest things. Also my stomach is still swollen, desperate for it to get back to normal so I can get in regualr clothes!
How are you doing potty?

OP posts:
going4potty · 22/12/2005 18:41

Hi whatonearth, Sorry didnt catch you. Not too bad had stiches out the other day and it started meof crying again. Think anyone medical etc fiddling gets me upset. But im ok now, still have a lot of down days and surprisingly still twinges of pain especially if ive been busy. Know what you mean about the tiredness.
But how about you? Are you ok?

coco1 · 12/01/2006 18:24

Hi Whatonearth

I had an ectopic n in Jan 2005 I was 6 weeks pg and didn't realise until I had symtoms of prune juic bleeding. I fell pg in Sept but sadly this week at 17 weeks discovered I had had missed m/c. I thought after ep I would never get pg again, so was relieved to know I could, incidentally I waited until 3 mths after ep before trying again. I found the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website really good, lots of advice re:trying to conceive . It does depend on what you want to do as some people may find this makes them more stressed. Personally I found it helpful as I felt in control of trying to enbsure I was doing as much as possible to ensure I was in a good physical health as possible. Also I looked at Fertility Friend on the internet, which helps you to chart your cycles and work out your most fertile time. As I say its an entirely personal thng.

take care

expecting · 13/01/2006 12:59

Just had a suspected ectopic but had spontaneous miscarriage at 7/8 weeks before they could confirm. It was awful but your experiences are much worse. I went through all these emotions in preparation Whatonearth so I do understand. Also I still worry about another ectopic as they couldn't say for sure one way or the other. Last pregnancy I conceived immediately and I think you get a bit complacent when you've already got one. Hope things work out for you and dp and that you conceive again. We are going to give it a break and try again late summer.

jco · 16/01/2006 15:04

Hi hun, I suffered an ectopic pregnancy in june last year and it was the worst time of my life. i found a lot of advice from a website run by the ectopic pregnancy trust.... here

jco · 16/01/2006 15:06

sorry don't think the link worked its www.ectopic.org

jenkel · 16/01/2006 15:40

I too have had an eptopic, I think eptopic is worse than miscarriage as not only have you lost a baby, you have surgery to get over and possible fertility problems ahead - not in my case though.

My history is as follows, 2 attempt at IVF, didnt work. On 2nd attempt they found out I was pregnant just before I started, turned out to be eptopic. Luckilly as it was caught so very early minimal damage was done. So had it all removed and then eventually went down the IVF route again and it worked. 18 months after my IVF baby was born I found out I was pregnant, total surprise.

So, it is a very dark and depressing time and I understand that you probably think there is no light at the end of the tunnel. But there is, you will get through it and I'm sure end up with a wonderful little family.

Good luck

ebbie22 · 16/01/2006 23:02

HI again,sorry it takes me a while to catch up on here...to get bk to your question im 23...
how are you doing today?

hello golds xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread