Recently out of hospital after ectopic- anyone been though this?

[whatonearth]

I?d only know that I was pregnant for about 4 days, it was my first and a bit of a surprise, but we were quickly overcome by excitement and feeling ?special?. After a trip to casualty they rushed me in for a laparoscopy and found loads of bleeding and an ectopic. They operated and also had to remove my tube.
The thing was I couldn?t help getting excited even though it was early days and now I just feel really sad. (Not to mention, bruised, sore and weepy anyway). Really really trying not to think of the future as I don?t want to start stressing. The approach this time round had been v relaxed just stop contraception forget about it and see what happens. I so didn?t want to make a big deal out of ttc, but of course I can?t ever take that approach again (been told it would be too much of a risk not to know for a start). I am shitting it that I?ll end up focusing on it, terrified that it won?t ever happen, really scared that I might have another ectopic??god the list is endless.
Also a bit pissed off that it happened to me and that other people are breezing though ttc and successful in first month, healthy stress free pregnancy etc?.. (Normal I guess?)
Any positive stories of from anyone would be gratefully received,
Ta

whatonearth if you're still listening. I had an ectopic with my first preg. Full laparoscopy (or whatever)

I went on to have 3 healthy kids so don't worry!

...and I was 35 when I had the ectopic!

I had an ectopic at 35 trying for kids for 10 years, I was 3 months pregnant when I was rushed in and had a tube removed and it had ruptured twice, I only got through it by going on the ectopic.org site and chatting late into the night. I am still in contact with one wonderful woman who had the same operation on the same day, we have both gone on to have babies. I gave up hope as I obviously lost a tube but it actually gave me my baby if that makes sense, I had a remainding tube test and my theory is that the dye cleared whatever was blocking it. no medical evidence to back this up. Get support from the website, it does get better honestly, even before I got pregnant again I got so much support from the site.

Well it?s the new year and things (medically speaking) have calmed down a little. Still unsure about what this year will hold. I have (and did have before I got pregnant) ambivalent feelings about having a family (dh defo wants kids, so this seemed to drive things on a bit). Was happy when preggers (hormones/the reality of it?) but now it seems like such a big deal again (and add into this the possible struggle of achieving pregnancy?.). Wanted to leave it all to fate, but now can?t as they say I must plan as I will need an early scan. Taking the step to actually properly try and say ?yes I really want to have kids? seems such a big thing?? But maybe I?m also a little scared that it wouldn?t happen so feel it?s best to avoid as I don?t want to get into the heartache of really wanting it to happen and not being able to (does this make any sense?)
Thanks for all your recommendations for ectopic trust, found it really useful, but feel a bit of a fraud because I am lacking the ?broodiness? thing?..
Hope you are all doing well and 2006 is a good year for everyone.

I think it's normal to have these feelings. You're trying to protect yourself against heartache as you say. The lack of broodiness is your mind's way of being non-commital in case things don't work out. I want another baby but also don't feel broody. I think my body needs time to recover from the m/c so I'm going to try again in the summer. Maybe you could wait a while before ttc to give yourself some time to deal with all these feelings.

Ectopic is truly confusing. I've had both a miscarriage (1st prgcy) and an ectopic, last month, with a text-book pregnancy and beautiful dd in between.

The ectopic, for me, was much harder to cope with than the MC, i think because i couldn't take comfort in the fact that the baby wouldn't have survived anyway, had it made it through the tube i could be three months gone by now. There's something entirely unrational but unavoidable about wanting to protect your baby at any cost and that's made me feel really guilty, which i know is daft as had i not had the salpingectomy, neither of us would have survived.

My first miscarriage left me OK though, i think if it's your first pregnancy it's easier for your brain to 'smooth things over' and protect you emotionally because you've no point of reference of yourself as a mother. Please don't feel bad about that Whatonearth, you can't help how you feel.

Whatonearth - I've experienced an ectopic over the New Year. We'd been TTC for 8months and this was to be our first. I was only pregnant for 7days over christmas, before things started to go wrong. Totally devastated. Now 6wks on and feeling a bit brighter - hope you do at some stage soon. There are some of us over in conception thread under TTC after ectopic - come join us. None of us are ready to TTC again yet but if you feel you've moved on from this thread c'mon over

hey everyone, new to this site so bear with me lol. I am looking for some reassuring stories. I had an ectopic pregnancy on 1/8/07. I was 6 weeks but only knew i was pregnant for 2 days. I have a 9 year old son so have been pregnant before and this time round things just didnt seem right. I had sore boobs and felt really tired (normal pg signs) but had a gut feeling that something was wrong. Started bleeding (brown yucky) on the 16th july and was still bleeding on 1st aug when i had scan done, couldnt find anything on scan so had a laporoscopy and doc told me that if ectopic was confirmed they would do laporotomy to remove tube, when i came to the next day the doc said she kept tube. Thing is i have a blocked left tube and now obviously my right tube with the ectopic will have been damaged. Do you think i will ever have a normal preganacy (if i ever conceive again).

Hello caz. Sorry I don't know the answer to your questions. I'm in a similar situation as I had surgery for an ep on August 3rd (I had only known I was pregnant for 5 days). I had a laparotomy as I had two ruptured ovarian cysts too. I've kept the left tube as the pregnancy was right at the end of it, but I don't know if it was damaged or not. I've also got 'some' adhesions on the right tube. So at the moment I've no idea how my fertility is affected. I've no dc. This was my 2nd pregnancy, but the 1st ended in m/c. I've got a follow up appt in October so I'm hoping I'll find out more then. The website of the ectopic trust is quite informative too. I am also in need of reassuring stories.

hi jess, i hope all goes well on your follow up appointment. Mine is in sept i am totally dreading it. my partner and i so desperatly want a child of our own (my son previous relationship), this is all a bit stressful to say the least as well you will know. I hope there wasnt too much damage to my tube and that i will be able to conceive again naturally. I hope you will too. thanks for the comment and keep me posted as to what happens with you. all the best and good luck to you huni xxx

I suffered an ectopic Jan 2006 but was lucky enough to have caught it early and had my tubes saved. I just wanted to say two things though, firstly as mentioned the ectopic trust website is a god send (www.ectopic.org) for info and support on forums and secondly, I conceived 5 months after my ep and now have a wonderful baby boy of 6 months. I know I still have two tubes but if you go on the EPT website you will see many stories of ladies with only one tube who now have beautiful babies- please don't lose hope!!

Thank you so much i will now go on that site and hopefully give myself a boost from stories on there. thanks again xxx