My dad died this morning

[mummydreamer]

I loved him so much and I'm devastated. I'm trying to hold it together (for my children's sake and my poor sister who is due to get married next saturday) and need to make some practical arrangements.

Does anyone know of any practical websites which may help - especially with issues such as post mortems and humanist funerals.

Thank you

Really sorry

Mummydreamer, so sorry to hear of your sad loss. Dinny x

So sorry mummydreamer I lost my dad 3 weeks ago, I know how utterly shattered you must feel. It sounds strange but dealing with all the practicalities does get you through the first few days, you want everything to be just right for your dad. Sending you, your children and your sister much strength for the coming weeks.

Sorry to hear of your loss

So sorry to hear this sad news. Nothing anyone can say will help you at this moment but in time you will take comfort in knowing that other people care. I lost my Dad over 3 years ago and at the time I felt I had to be strong for others but it really is important to grieve and to let it out. Your children have lost their grandad and also need to grieve talk about him as much as you can, laugh at the good things and funny things you did together. look at his funeral as a clebration of his life (hard but try)
Give my best wishes to your sister too. Its hard to get married without your Dad at your side.

It's strange how surreal this time is. One moment I'm up to my eyes in babyfood / puzzles etc - so normal - and the next I'm in floods of tears. I told my little girl (nearly 3) that Grandad had died and that mummy and her aunties were sad. She was very matter of fact, saying poor mummy and Grandad's died - I can't touch him anymore. (Don't know where that came from...)

DH is being a complete rock as are all the brothers in law. There's lots of crying but lots of laughter too. I guess this is about as healthy as it gets.

Thank you all for your kind thoughts - it has helped to hear that others have gone through this and come out the other side.

Winnie - I'll be in touch at some point. My best wishes to you anyway.

Mummydreamer. My thoughts are with you and your sister. How very sad for you all. xx

i'm so sorry for your loss
humanist funerals , has a list of accredited funeral officiants.

Mummydreamer, I am glad dh is being a rock and you have the support of your family. I remember the surreal feeling when my Dad died; like you say one minute dong the usually everyday things the next floods of tears. Organising a funeral does keep you something to concentrate on but be kind to yourself and don't expect too much of yourself right now. I went to pieces after Dads funeral so my advice is prepare for the big empty space that may loom once the funeral is over. As for laughing and crying that is what happens; you remember all the tgreat times, particular habits etc... Thinking of you, Winnie

Just seen this and want to send you hugs and thoughts. My mum died on 15th and was buried on Thursday so i do understand what you are going through. My advice would be to find a funeral diector through word of mouth. The one we had was amazing and took over all the arrangements and was on call 24 hours for us. CAT me if you want to talk cos im still in that surreal stage you talk about. It hasnt yet hit me that my mum and dad are both gone.

I'm having an hour in practical mode - sorting out poems and trying to write something for the officiant who will conduct Dad's funeral.

Thanks for all the recommendations - we're going for one of the British Humanist Associations recomendations.

Found this poem earlier:

He is Gone

You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
Anonymous

It so encapsulates the person my dad was.

mummydreamer that is beautiful.