Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My lovely Dad died today, so sad to lose him

51 replies

Rindercella · 12/07/2010 22:17

My darling, darling father collapsed at home at 1pm today, was air lifted to hospital but was dead by the time he got there. Mum says all the paramedics, doctors, etc., were just fantastic and did everything they could.

I guess it's the best way to go - so quickly, but so hard for us to lose him so suddenly. He had kidney failure last year and made a brillant recovery. Think it was his heart, but there needs to be an autopsy.

My poor Mum, they just celebrated their 48th wedding anniversary and they were so hoping they would make it to 50

It's been a bit of a bad few months tbh...well, 4 months ago DD2 was born which was obviously brillant, but it's been pretty crap since then.

Wish I was closed to Mum so I could just pop over there, but I need to get childcare arranged because I know Mum couldn't face DD1 asking where Grandpa is (and I don't think I could either).

Bollocks.

RiP my lovely Dad, I will miss you more than you would ever know. I hope you are in a happy place xxxxxxxxx

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 12/07/2010 22:19

So sorry, Rindercella but at the same time, how lovely that you had such a fab Dad and have so many happy memories to treasure.

Frizbe · 12/07/2010 22:20

so sorry.

Sidge · 12/07/2010 22:20

Oh I am so sorry you have lost your lovely dad.

Thinking of you xxx

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 12/07/2010 22:22

Rinder

thinking of you and your family.

take care xx

MumInBeds · 12/07/2010 22:22

Sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you can sort your childcare soon.

Your dad sounds like he was a lovely man.

GazzasDressingGown · 12/07/2010 22:23

i'm so sorry.

thinking of you xx

SpanishHarlot · 12/07/2010 22:23

So sad to read of your loss...try to celebrate his life and not concentrate on death.

As much as it hurts try to encourage your mum to talk about him as much as possible.

My dad died when I was ten years old, I was devastated but thankfully I feel that I know him so well because even though mum had another partner later she would always talk about our dad and what he did or liked and now I feel that he is always with me.

I agree with you that although it is hard to accept any loss it is better for it to be quick rather than to see someone suffer and deteriorate before your eyes.

x

Jackstini · 12/07/2010 22:25

So sorry to hear this Rindercella. Even if it's the best way to go for him, it doesn't make it any easier for you and your Mum.
My thoughts are with you and may your Dad RIP knowing how truly loved he was x

2shoes · 12/07/2010 22:25

so very sorry for your sad loss

nickschick · 12/07/2010 22:27

Very sorry for you .

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 12/07/2010 22:28

I'm so very sorry. I'm thinking of you and your family.

bathbuns · 12/07/2010 22:30

So sorry, am also thinking of you all.

BrittanyBeers · 12/07/2010 22:37

Oh, jeez, I'm so so sorry.

You've just had a baby too, haven't you?

What an emotional time.

All my love.x

Original poster
Rindercella · 12/07/2010 22:42

Thank you everyone, your kind words mean a lot.

Yep, had a baby girl who is utterly gorgeous and now 15 weeks old. DH has been diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago too, so it's been a very rocky time..Seems it's getting worse before it gets better.

Need to go to bed now. Dunno if I can sleep though.

OP posts:
notnowbernard · 12/07/2010 22:43

Am so sorry, Rindercella

ninah · 12/07/2010 22:44

so sorry Rindercella

RumourOfAHurricane · 12/07/2010 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SirBoobAlot · 12/07/2010 23:09

So sorry x

MixedNutPlate · 12/07/2010 23:11

sorry Rindercella.

Jackstini · 13/07/2010 09:51

Did you manage any sleep Rindercella?
Shitty news about your dh too; glad your beautiful new dd is keeping you going.

Original poster
Rindercella · 13/07/2010 11:25

Thanks again for all your messages.

I managed to get some sleep. Typically, just as I had managed to doze off at around 2am DD2 woke for a feed. Then I was wide awake again while she fell asleep again.

Have been on the phone most of the morning calling their friends to let them know. Suddenly feel very grown up. Had a lovely long chat with my brother last night and he is going to be moving back with his partner which is fantastic and will work really well. His business is run from their farm, so it makes absolute sense. Can't have my mother in that big cold house rattling around by herself. Dad left the farm - his home and business for more than 50 years - in some style (got airlifted to hospital), which I know he would have appreciated.

Got friend taking DD1 out for the day so I can go & see Mum with just the baby. In weeks to come I know DD1 will be a huge comfort to Mum, but not just at the moment. She's only 2.11 years. Anyone have any suggestions on how to let her know that her beloved Grandpa won't be around anymore?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rindercella · 13/07/2010 11:28

Worried about Mum. She's coping amazingly well, has called all the appropriate people herself, etc., but when she crashes it is going to be hard. If you could imagine a lovely, comfortable, equal marriage, theirs was it.

She wants me to go to the undertaker's with her, along with my brother & sister.

OP posts:
5inthebed · 13/07/2010 11:29

So sorry about your loss x

Hassled · 13/07/2010 11:29

I'm so sorry. My father died very suddenly a few years ago - you're absolutely right that from his point of view it's the best way to go, but I remember how hard we found it not having said our goodbyes. Just take your time with everything - there's no right or wrong way to act or feel.

Comewhinewithme · 13/07/2010 11:33

I am so sorry ((hugs)) similar happened to DP's Grandad in march and while it was quick for him it was so sudden and shocking for all left behind xxx