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Continuum Concept

42 replies

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 14:29

Hi all,

Do any (or have any mums or future mum's) here use (or have used) this method to raise their little ones?

If not, do you think it actually makes perfect sense, and why haven't we been raising our little ones in such a natural and obvious way such as this before?

The continuum concept is an idea relating to human development proposed by Jean Liedloff in her book The Continuum Concept. According to Liedloff, in order to achieve optimal physical, mental and emotional development, human beings, especially babies, require the kind of experience to which their species adapted during the long process of their evolution. For infants, these include such experiences as:

The infant being placed immediately in the mother's arms at birth, and from then on carried constantly in arms or otherwise in contact with someone, usually the mother, and allowed to observe (or nurse, or sleep) while the carrier goes about his or her business?until the infant begins creeping, then crawling on his/her own impulse, usually at six to eight months;

? Co-sleeping in the parents' bed, in constant physical contact, until leaving of their own volition (often about two years);

? Breastfeeding "on cue"?nursing in response to the child's body's signals;

? Having caregivers immediately respond to body signals (squirming, crying, etc.), without judgment, displeasure, or invalidation of the child's needs, yet showing no undue concern nor making the child the constant center of attention;

? Sensing (and fulfilling) elders' expectations that he or she is innately social and cooperative and has strong self-preservation instincts, and that he or she is welcome and worthy.

She suggests that when certain evolutionary expectations are not met as infants and toddlers, compensation for these needs will be sought, by alternate means, throughout life?resulting in many forms of mental and social disorders.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mamsnet · 29/06/2010 14:33

Didn't know what it was called.. but yes, basically.. that is (mostly) what I have done..

Just called it instinct

Chil1234 · 29/06/2010 14:45

"resulting in many forms of mental and social disorders."

That's the point at which I take exception with this kind of thing. If, like many women, you're back at work when your baby is 3 months old then you physically can't carry them around 'constantly in arms' until they can creep about. And if some other aspect of your life precludes you from carrying out any of the other parts of this theory then what you're effectively being told is that you are a bad parent and you are going to end up with a mentally maladjusted and socially disordered child.

There are far too many of these 'how to raise a child perfectly' learned papers, often contradicting each other or making dire warnings about what fate befalls anyone that doesn't follow them..... And the truth is that anyone who loves their children & does the best they can for them with the resources and time available is actually already the perfect parent.

oddgirl · 29/06/2010 14:59

Agree 100% with chil-I love my DS more than life itself and actually did some of the techniques mentioned...and he still has autism...the majority of parents are doing their best and as chil says that is perfect parenting in my book

thatbuzzingnoise · 29/06/2010 15:08

The book doesn't say if you don't do x it will leave to y as the OP suggests.

That is way too simplistic a conclusion.

it makes me wonder what is your point for starting this thread.

you summarise in detail the essence book then draw up this rather biased conclusion.

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 15:44

No, I posted this to draw attention to those who already know instinctively or more to those who don't agree to such philosophies. If this post is not of any interest, then why bother replying in the first place.

This kind of hypercritical mentality is likened to those who complain about a particular TV station or radio station. If you don't like it, then just turn over, or just ignore my erudite post.

OP posts:
thatbuzzingnoise · 29/06/2010 15:50

you are abit up yourself, aren't you?

is there a reason why the only other thread you ahve started before (using this username) is one asking if the fox biting the child was some sort of scam.

really nasty insinuations you made there. made me think of the daily mail.

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 16:05

Yes, I am an over opinionated human being. But that doesn't mean to say I am not very nice - in fact, I'm quite the opposite - I care deeply for all life; human, animal, insect - you name it. It's a pity a few more people out there aren't like me. As a human being and student of human nature I can relate to the fact that most people don't get on with each other - and it is certainly evident around here.

In us humans this can be seen from childhood when we were young children ourselves. Playgrounds are usually the place where hatred to one-another starts. I don't think I know of anyone who hasn't made a judgmental comment on someone else, or to criticize even friends and family.

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Chil1234 · 29/06/2010 16:10

"why bother replying in the first place?"

Because many of us are heartily fed up with yet another paper putting forward yet another 'Concept'... adding to the skip-load of tomes written by anyone and everyone who are trying to make out that parenthood (or more accurately motherhood) is something for which we need to refer to experts.

You read MN's boards for long enough and see the worry and anxiety this causes... however innocent or benign the original intention. There may be some mother that follows this method to the letter... but I seriously doubt it. More likely all that will happen is that some new mum, worried that she's doing the right thing ... already confused by the conflicting advice she has seen or heard will be reading your post, picking out the things she doesn't do and her self-confidence takes another bash

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 16:29

I'm a little confused and becoming quite anxious at reading your reply, Chil1234.

You write:

"Because many of us are heartily fed up with yet another paper putting forward yet another 'Concept'"

By your reference of "paper", are you referring to philosophical essay papers? Or to that of the media papers: News Papers?

Unfortunately I don't subscribe to any news paper nor do I own a TV set. My knowledge is gained through reading books, and studying people in the spare time I get -- and of course researching subjects my mind may suddenly ponder upon.

Worry and anxiety is caused by the problems of 'corporate society' and greed as we know it today. But, you don't need to be apart of that. The way we are all conditioned is the problem, as most of us are scared creatures.

It's hard for all life to just live. A little anxiety here and there is part of any creature.

I applause your enthusiasm to reply.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 29/06/2010 16:43

What on earth are you going on about? Corporate society and greed?

You offered up a synopsis from a book (paper, tome, volume, record, composition) by someone called Leidloff and asked us to choose from the responses that a) we either did this already or b) if we didn't we thought it made perfect sense and was natural and obvious. In short, either 'yes we agree' or 'yes we agree'. Hobson's Choice (you might need to look that phrase up)

I objected to the inference in the last line of the synopsis that children not raised in the suggested fashion would have 'mental and social disorders'. IMO the 'continuum concept' is just another piece of not-needed scare-mongering.

If you feel confused and anxious then do see your GP.

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 17:10

It is hardly scare-mongering, is it? Maybe through your eyes maybe? For one to offer, or rather; pass-on another's insightful learned wisdom into the natural study of creatures and their offspring is a gift. Knowledge is power, as I'm sure you would agree, as you seem to be an erudite being.

You seem het up about something. Could it be that I am a man? I really do not hope that that is the cause of your apparent anger. If there is no anger present, then I whole-heartedly apologise with my warm and loving heart.

Here's a lovely verse of wisdom and kindness to help you on your way at being a better human being. Goodbye for now, Chil1234:

Your Children are not Your Children
by Kahlil Gibran

Your Children are not Your Children

They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

OP posts:
johndehaura · 29/06/2010 17:20

Oh, you mentioned me seeing a GP? Never needed one. I'm 36, I have clean fresh skin, no grey hairs, and appear as youthful as a 20 year old. I put that down to my vegan diet. My mother was wise to feed us a healthy nutritious diet from day one. I shall get on to raising our little ones without the need for meat and dairy in another thread some other time. I look forward in reading your fantastic comments.

We should not be afraid to pass on good wisdom and good advice, especially to those who seem stuck in their conditioned ways.

OP posts:
bruffin · 29/06/2010 17:27

Well this type of parenting would never have worked for my DD as she hated to be held, cried until she was put in her cot to sleep, wouldn't sleep with us, yet she has turned out to be one of the most contented baby I know and a very kind, mature 12 year old. My DS needed parenting differently and again has turned out to be a laid back, mature teenager of whom I am constantly being told they are lovely children.

All children are different and they need different parenting.

EleanorHandbasket · 29/06/2010 17:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thatbuzzingnoise · 29/06/2010 18:47

pssssst!

colditz · 29/06/2010 18:48

Gimme a "T"!

Gimme a "W"!

Gimme an "A"!

etc

It's good that you have self belief, really it is. It cushions your psyche quite nicely.

What isn't good is the astonishing level of arrogance displayed in your posts, or your seemingly pressing need to evangelically spread your delusions.

You get on with feeding your little ones a nutritious meat free dairy free flavour free diet (and yes, I'm sure they DO find organic broccoli delicious but only because they've never tasted chocolate buttons) - because I'm going off to take the non pompous option, and dish up dinner.

johndehaura · 29/06/2010 19:26

What delightful degrading tones. I do hope you don't try and put your children down like you are trying to do with me. Is this what our children are going to have to tolerate?

I can only hope the apparent types we have to face are a' diminishing.

Here, have a link to some proper chocolate buttons:

www.humdinger-foods.co.uk/ourProd_dairyFree.html

Much nicer than the poor rubbish found in common supermarkets on shelves lowered to be at children's eye level. Still, I am one of those who isn't scared to intervene when 'so called' parents start slapping their little ones about. I'll slap them back to see how they like it.

The trouble is with many, is that they themselves have forgotten that they were once children. How anyone could forget that and start referring to children as some kind of 'separation' from themselves is beyond my mind.

Still, I'm starting to get a feel for the types here. Bullies.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 29/06/2010 20:02

"You seem het up about something."

Oooh... wonder what?.... Oh yes! I will admit to being annoyed with sanctimonious types who claim to have discovered the one and only true and righteous path... on anything from motherhood, to relationships, to diet, religion, politics, etc... who broadcast this on public message boards and are not only mystified but upset when the rest of us don't simply roll over and concur with their superior grasp of the situation.

You are not being bullied, incidentally, you are being challenged when you expected submission and we're matching your arrogance and condescension with a little 'sledgehammer wit'. Nothing to do with you being a 36 year-old male.... who looks 20.... [stifles a snort]

And to match your gift of poetry

If you think your life's a joke
And your successes few
Remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you.

soulsu · 29/06/2010 20:12

Very, very odd! I agree thatbuzzingnoise

TheJollyPirate · 29/06/2010 20:13

I would say I used very similar techniques with my DS. He co-slept with me and was carried around in a baby sling - (I used to swaddle him to me) as he would not be put down. He liked being cuddled and was part of a wide and social family from day one.

He has autism but I hope the close contact and socializing I did with him have helped him reach his potential and will continue to do so.

I am generally wary of anything which considers itself the one right way but feel much of the research out there is supportive of positive and affectionate interaction for development of a healthy brain. Am thinking here of Sue Gerbahdts (sp) "Why Love Matters: The Importance of Affection in Shaping a Baby's Brain".

otchayaniye · 29/06/2010 20:16

I more or less do what you describe. Just feeling my way in the dark as I was presented with a prem and hadn't read a book. I've since gleaned a lot about attachment parenting and continuum (which is different as there seems to be less emphasis verbal communication) concept.

I now work three days a week but my husband, who works part time slings our daughter and does everything, save lactate.

We are also considering some of the approach of unconditional parenting, but i'm undecided whether it's too much a 'perfect world'.

Would I do it again? Yes. But it's very hard, and friends and relatives reckon you're precious. You can feel isolated. Very hard on the mother in some respects.

We don't look like hippies. We love red meat, wine, fancy clothes and sportscars.

But this way feels right for us and although there is no evidence it has an effect, my daughter seems happy.

Your op did seem a little pompous and bombastic though.

Apple weird typing. On phonec feeding to sleep

Bellagio · 29/06/2010 20:24

Sorry OP but you sound like a total fruitcake

soulsu · 29/06/2010 20:39

Should just point out that I don't find the concept / theory odd, just the OP!

SparkOfSense · 29/06/2010 20:40

My problem with any of these parenting concepts is that they put a layer of inauthenticity between parent and child.
Your reactions to your own child should come direct from your own brain and your own heart. A theory/concept/book is too rigid and limited.