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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

16 week old hates his car seat ...

53 replies

sheeplikessleep · 28/06/2010 17:23

... any similar experiences? If so, how did you overcome or when did they grow out of it?

He literally screams in it all the time, no matter how fast the car goes. DS1 loved his car seat, fell asleep as soon as he was put in it, so this seems alien to me.

We haven't yet visited the in-laws, who live 250 miles away and I'm dreading the journey there. I'm hoping there's something I can do to stop him crying.

Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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littleducks · 29/06/2010 14:46

oh yes, dd hated being in her carseat

then fil suddenly died and we seemed to be permanently in the car toing and froing from MILs

I think i used to just lean over carseat and bf the length of the M4 so dh could concentrate

At other times we would sing, long repetitive songs, old macdonald etc.

She did improve and when she went forward facing loved sleeping in carseat until she was 3.5

Original poster

sheeplikessleep · 29/06/2010 14:48

how can you lean over to feed ?

OP posts:

littleducks · 29/06/2010 14:53

eerm it wasnt comfy!

i used to sit in middle back seat and lean over with arm on door frame for support

SydneyB · 29/06/2010 14:59

DS was like this. Will never forget one particular journey when he was about 3 mths old and screamed non-stop for 1.5hrs. Nothing worse. He got much better once we swapped him to a forward facing seat and he could see us and his sister. Now, nearly 2, he LOVES the car and goes and stands by the door eagerly waiting to get in.

Gracie123 · 29/06/2010 17:09

Sorry sheep. I guess the reason it annoys me so much is that we have the same problem. It does drive a bit of a wedge between me and DH sometimes.

He's even admitted that he tends to side with parents because he knows I'll forgive him. I take comfort in the fact that he is more secure in his relationship with me, but it still hurts when I feels like he is willing to compromise my feelings for the sake of theirs.

All I can say is hang in there. It's definitely getting better, and the more we talk about it, the more reasonable DH is becoming about it. He does sometimes confront his 'rents now. Not often, but more than he used to.

At the end of the day you have to be as accommodating and forgiving as you can be, but not to the detriment of your children. I choose to be flexible when I can be with my own convenience/comfort to let iL's know that I am making an effort, but I will not compromise on the DCs. I think they are starting to get that too. Demands are much less frequent than when we first got married. I'm just hoping it doesn't all kick off again when we have another LO in 3.5 weeks!!

4madboys · 29/06/2010 17:18

i was going to say are you bfeeding? my eldest two both hated being in the car and the only way we could do it was if dp drove and i sat in the back in the middle seat and i could then lean over and bfeed, utterly daft, not very comfortable for me, but it stopped the screaming!

littleducks · 29/06/2010 17:34

oh at least i wasnt the only nutter doing it 4madnoys

4madboys · 29/06/2010 17:39

no littleducks, i have done it with all four of mine and i have a few friends that have done it, just one of those things you do but dont discuss! i suspect i will end up doing it again as no 5 is due november!

Gracie123 · 29/06/2010 18:45

FIVE!!! you are officially my hero

Original poster

sheeplikessleep · 29/06/2010 20:50

Gracie - no need to apologise at all. It really struck a cord reading your post, as your dh / in laws sound so similar to mine! I get so frustrated sometimes too with things that are said to my dh from my in-laws (and i don't think he admits everything to me, in terms of what they say). i have to keep telling myself they are his parents, or i'd go mad. but you're totally right, that's why i'm digging my heels in on this one, as i am not putting ds2 through it, just to keep the peace. i'm not saying we'll never visit, but just not yet.

congratulations too on your pending arrival, very exciting!

on the feeding whilst they're in their seats, yeah i'm breastfeeding and he loves it, so if i could make that work, it would be fab. BUT, i'm not sure i'd even fit between his and ds1s car seat. i'm still slightly perplexed by the logistics to be honest!! do you have to hang over the seat?

OP posts:

Original poster

sheeplikessleep · 29/06/2010 20:55

i'm going to try removing the 'hood', which i've had up recently because of the sun shining through. that way maybe he'll look at his big brother a bit (who he is starting to find hugely entertaining).

thanks all for posting, has been reassuring and given me lots of ideas! thanks

OP posts:

Original poster

sheeplikessleep · 29/06/2010 20:59

there's even a you tube video on how to feed whilst baby in car seat in car !

OP posts:

Gracie123 · 30/06/2010 11:45

Yeah, I should think removing the hood would help.could you get a sunshade for the window instead?

They are fairly cheap.

Let us know how it goes.

Original poster

sheeplikessleep · 30/06/2010 13:21

thanks gracie - we've got a sunshade too, but they let light in around the outside of them. it's a bug bear of mine

OP posts:

Galena · 30/06/2010 14:53

We bought some off ebay specially for our car - they were pricey (about 70 quid) but they fit perfectly the 2 rear windows, the 2 little windows in the boot and the rear windscreen.

Gracie123 · 30/06/2010 20:23

70 quid! Or you could just get some double sided tape and stick some pretty fabric cut to size over the windows.

Probably make them hard to open though...

Galena · 30/06/2010 20:49

Yeah, I know Gracie, but DH decided it was a 'good idea' so we had to get them! On the plus side, we can open the windows with them fitted and don't lose any of the sun-blind-ness.

Igglybuff · 30/06/2010 20:55

My DS didn't like the carseat much but that's because it puts pressure on his tummy and he used to sick up if he was put in not long after feeding. So I wonder if that's a problem?

He's now in a bigger seat which is suitable for newborns (a Britax) and he's more upright and less squashed in it. He seems happier!

Lozario · 01/07/2010 11:30

Yes hang in there til DC is in a forward facing upright seat, things got a LOT better then, especially as you can throw chocolate buttons organic rice cakes at them to keep them quiet!!

Lozario · 01/07/2010 11:31

(don't know why I couldn't strike out chocolate buttons there - oh well!)

omnishambles · 01/07/2010 11:34

sheep - could you possibly go be train just the once to see them and then get them to come to you next time - we take ours everywhere by train and its not that bad.

ronshar · 01/07/2010 11:44

Slightly different approach but could you perhaps try and change the feeding to sleep?
If that is one cause of his distress when you are doing a long journey, then he is still young enough to do it with out too much fuss.

Also I always make sure one of my other children are sitting next to my youngest, who never really enjoyed being in the rear facing seat, but is better now in front facing. They are on call to stroke, kiss, blow raspberries what ever it takes to prevent the cry from starting.

You cant just leave pets behind without having someone to look after them. They are the same as children in that you are completely responsible for thier well being. DH grandparents are never seen without silly dogs. Not in my house though. Unfortunately it means they will only visit for short periods before going home to the babies[puke]

Gracie123 · 01/07/2010 18:10

Obviously you can't leave pets unattended - I wasn't suggesting that

I meant it's a lot easier to put a dog in kennels/ask a neighbour to feed the cat/get a house sitter who'll feed the fish - than it is to get a sitter for a baby(!) (but presumably they want to see baby anyway) so the responsibilities involved are not really the same.

I can understand not wanting to do the train journey with two DCs. I did it once with DS when he was about 10 months old and vowed never again. You have to carry your suitcase in a backpack - including nappies, bottles etc... like a turtle that is way overbalanced, if she has a baby she has to carry (presumably in a car seat or she won't have one when she gets there) and deal with tickets etc... and I can't imagine what to do with toddler if he/she decided to make a run for it/refused to get on/off train at appropriate times.

For us it was ridiculously expensive, we spent most of the journey sat on the floor in the carriage because there were not enough seats, we had to leave the buggy with DH when we set off because there was no room to fold/luggage racks were full so we didn't have one when we got to parents.

Oh, and our train got cancelled and they made us do four changes to get to our destination.

I for one will never use the train again!

omnishambles · 01/07/2010 20:49

Really Gracie - we get the train everywhere - our relatives live the other ends of the country so often do it - you have to book in advance though with a railcard and book a table seat then pack light and make sure the people at the other end have clothes and nappies and food in.

We dont take a car seat with us - you dont have to have them in taxis if you've got a buggy and the GPs have them at theirs anyway if they are picking us up - you leave one there on purpose.

You either put your XT size buggy folded on the floor at the bottom of the luggage racks or you leave it up in the wheelchair/disable toilet bit where theres lots more space.

I can see its much harder if you're used to using the car though because you dont have to be as organised and can shove loads of things in that you 'might' use.

Gracie123 · 02/07/2010 13:04

Tbh I think a lot of it sounds like it's to do with GP co-operation. They store spare clothes for your kid (how do they know their sizes?) and have a spare car seat and keep nappies in.

Also we had booked seats, but as our trainwas cancelled we didn't get any seats and the other trains were ridiculously over crowded. Couldn't put buggy in the luggage rack because there were people sitting in it, and on the floor!

Probably doesn't help that my only experience was travelling between Christmas and new year.

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