How would you have dealt with this situation?

[overmydeadbody]

7 year old boy. Very consistant mum, what she says goes. Normal evening routine, he's just had supper, cleared away his plate, and is playing in the sitting room. He is given a ten minute warning before time to get ready for bed.

Then that time comes.

Mum: Ok, can you go and clean your teeth, wash your face and get your PJs on.

DS: No, I want to play for a bit more.

Mum: Go and clean your teeth and get your pyjamas on please.

DS: No, I am going to play for longer.

Mum: Go and clean your teeth and get your pyjamas on now.

DS: If you say that one more time I will loose my temper.

Mum: Go and clean your teeth and get your pyjamas on now.

DS: Don't say that again or I will loose my temper.

Mum: Go and clean your teeth and get your pyjamas on now.

DS: I said, don't say that again or I will really loose my temper.

Mum: Go and clean your teeth and get your pyjamas on NOW. LISTEN TO ME.

DS: NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME, I am warning you, don't say that again or I will loose my temper.

FWIW, I would have said the whole thing once, then said "teeth" twice, then said "I'm going to count to three...." and carried it out (hauling DS up to bed). And then I suspect I would have lost it anyway so it would all have been a waste of time anyway.

I'm with you on the my instruction is an instruction and you don't get to pick and chose which ones you obey. I do get the point others are making re pick your battles though.

Wine o'clock for you?

ACtually, now it's all over I would probably have a little chuckle. It's quite sweet, isn't it? 'Now YOU LISTEN to me.' Bless. You must make sure you give him a chance to talk about it tomorrow.

lol yes wine o'clock and a good old chuckle about it all

"Perhaps I should have been all understanding and asked "why", but I just wanted him to go to bed to be honest, I was being selfish I guess"

I don't think your needs are selfish at all but for us it always works out better when we all listen to each other. DS knows I need my time alone with DH but still has to be constantly reminded of it regularly because 7 year olds naturally put themselves first!

And of course you are not the only one who could have handled a situation in a better way but being tired or stressed or in a hurry meant you didn't! That's why I started my first post on this thread with 'on a good day'!

Maybe when you chat about it, you could get him to see how he didn't like interrupting his game and how it would be better if he got ready for bed straight after his evening meal so that he could have a longer, uninterrupted play time in his room!

Thank you theotherside!

My point is that he didn't start off being rude or disrespectful and that the situation of him threatening his mum may have been avoided by acknowledging his desire to play longer at the beginning.

He did start off being rude and disrespectful, he was given a 10 minute warning then asked to follow his usual routine - and he said a flat "no". how is that not rude?

I'm not really into 'respect" - but I do believe in good manners on both sides. OMDB was perfectly polite - her ds was rude. If he had said - "Please can I just finish this first?" then I would probably have put a timer on for another 10 minutes. Under the circumstances, I whould have said "No", given him one more chance then said "Upstairs now or no TV/Wii tomorrow evening" And meant it.

I don't see the word 'no' as rude in itself.
It depends on how it is said.

To me, he was just expressing his desire to play longer.

Of course, 'I'd like to finish this please' is politer but isn't it just an opportunity to remind your child of better way of expressing themselves.

After all if you're at the dinner table and they say 'I want some ....' you're going to not decide they can't have any because they got the words wrong, you'll ask them to rephrase it more politely and then give them it.

You're right, it depends on how it's said. Thinking again, I would probably raise my Victorian parent eyebrow, and the request would be hastily rephrased. But if it wasn't....then as before.

Ooh, I am envious. I can only raise both at once!