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Original poster

My 2yo just bit a baby in the park - it was awful

49 replies

Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:03

He was in the sandpit and was a bit aggressive to an older child so i moved him away to a quiet corner. Baby came up to him and he hugged and started to kiss her, (I was with her carer - maybe a grandmother) i ran over to get him even before he did anything(was a few feet away) but was a split second too late. He bit her in the lip loads of blood. It was awful. I just apologised profusely

A second later the baby's dad came over and started yelling at me about how I was a bad parent and he was really aggressive so I shouted back a bit and then we left.

And now I feel awful for the baby, dislike my violent child and feel horrible for shouting. I have 5 children and have never felt so upset about an incident Iike this before.
And don't think i can take ds2 out again tbh.

OP posts:
CantSupinate · 05/06/2010 17:05

AAck, what a nightmare (for everybody).
You've got to take him out again, to have the opportunity to teach him to socialise more nicely.
Big glass of wine tonite, eh?

shinyshoes · 05/06/2010 17:06

Oh dear, what how unfortunate story sorry to hear u had a crap time.

Mine is biting at the moment, she is 2.4, we firmly and sharlpy tell her no getting out the 'that's naughty pointy finger' sorry no advice to offer but I shall be watching this thread closley

Original poster
Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:08

Already on wine!

Have taken him out everyday this week and no indication that he would do this! Worst thing is the feelings in me he is causing. I can't bear to look at him Atm.

OP posts:
unltd · 05/06/2010 17:09

oh you poor thing

these things happen

you are not a bad mother

he is not a violent child

relax tonight and everything will look brighter tomorrow

Original poster
Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:10

He is 2.2 I have been very cross with him and he has cried a lot, but not sure he understands really. Will just have to stay in exile until he is 4 I think.

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 05/06/2010 17:11

He was probably trying to kiss her and got carried away.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 05/06/2010 17:11

These things happen, it was unfortunate but please don't blame yourself, DS got bitten the other day at nursery and the mark was still there 24hours later, nothing I could do, I am sure that the other parent is mortified.

noddyholder · 05/06/2010 17:12

Ah Pollyanna def go with the wine.Something similar happened to a friend of mine when they were on holiday.her dd pinched another little boy really hard massive scene parents went nuts!Said dd is 11 now and a lovely girl and no long term harm done.Who knows why he did it but he won't be the last x

randomimposter · 05/06/2010 17:13

Pollyanna I really empathise, my just 2yo can be a bit aggressive on occasions, and I tend to hover a bit fearing what you describe. I know it's not that unusual. Also know you will be feeling really pants.

The dad's reaction was over the top and inappropriate, though of course he was entitled to be upset. Was probably the shock. He may be feeling rubbish now too at his response (mind you depends which (Brighton?) park you were in...

Have another glass x

waitingforbedtime · 05/06/2010 17:13

He's not a violent child, he's a toddler. Wait until that dad has a 2 year old, believe me I bet he'll be more understanding then. I can compltely understand him being upset and worried and even angry but to shout at you is out of order imo.

Fwiw my ds isnt particularly violent but I only have one kid, Im not naieve enough to think that the next one will be the same! My friend has a gorgeous lovely little boy who did the exact same as your ds, she was mortified but he has never done it again.

Seriously, I know you probably feel like he's cruel and wicked but he is still a baby himself. He's only been around 2 years, he has a lot to learn!

randomimposter · 05/06/2010 17:14

and what Fab said. He's just going to be a passionate snogger ... (not making light of it btw)

Original poster
Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:15

He was kissing her. But although hasn't bitten like that before I knew he could get carried away! (usually just squeezing or pushing though), but he's got a reputation at nursery for being a very caring gentle child. Aaargh!

Noddy I can never go to P Park again!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 05/06/2010 17:17

DS, 19 months, is a biter.

I know how you feel!

He shoves other children his age in playgroup, pulls hair, tries to bite.

But when he's with older children he's so sweet.

I don't understand it.

My girls were never like this.

Thediaryofanobody · 05/06/2010 17:17

The only person that shouldn't be out in public is the aggressive father!

How horrible for everyone. This has probably been a big shock for your DS it may even stop him biting.
Learn from the experience next time your DS is getting aggressive with other children take him away completely until he calms down rather than move him away within the pit as other children will turn up.
Seriously it's a normal thing for a child to do.

randomimposter · 05/06/2010 17:17

shame after all that money on the re-fit!
x

AnnieLobeseder · 05/06/2010 17:17

Please stop being cross with him, he will have forgotten all about biting and have no idea why you are angry with him. Give him a huge hug right now and you'll both feel loads better. He also probably had no idea that his bite would hurt the baby, it was just a reflex action to have his space invaded.

I can see why the dad was angry, but he should also understand that toddlers sometimes bite, and would only have had real grounds to be so nasty to you if you hadn't done anything about your DS biting. The baby was probably his pfb and when baby starts biting in another couple of years, he'll look back on today with deep shame when he remembers how he reacted.

DD2 is a biter, and on an 'action plan' at nursery (ie baby ASBO) because of it, but it's just something that some toddlers do.

Today's bite may have been a one-off, or he may do it again. Just be firm but calm, tell him 'no!', remove him from the fun for a few moments (a short time-out) and make him say sorry.

He doesn't know biting is wrong, he needs to be gently taught, like with anything else.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 05/06/2010 17:18

You need to calm down. Honestly.

He is doing what a lot of toddlers do.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 05/06/2010 17:18

Oh dear, awful situation for all of you.

DS1 was a biter, I can remember that feeling of having to watch them all the time. More than once I caught him about to sink his teeth in to someone elses child. DS2 often had bite marks on him

He threw a toy that hit a baby once and the mother had a go at me. I know how it feels, don't feel too bad. It's not nice for the baby involved but unfortunately some children do bite and even with our best efforts we can't prevent every incident.

misdee · 05/06/2010 17:18

i can see both sides.

my dd4 has been on the receiving end of a few chidlrens 'outbursts' and it does really upset me, especially when i come home and she has another scratch down her face, or a ring of tooth bruises elsehwere.

but then she is almost 2 herself and is starting to assert herself, especially with her sisters and bit dd3 belly yesterday.

3littlefrogs · 05/06/2010 17:18

He is 2 - his behaviour is not abnormal or violent.

Of course you must take him out again - maybe you will have to stay close to him all the time though, until he is a bit older.

I bet the dad doesn't have older children...

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 05/06/2010 17:20

My son did this many moons ago (he is 21 now but I still remember it). In the park, aged 2 and a bit The worst bit was the other father's reaction - I thought he was going to deck me, he was so agressive (definite wife beater in the making I decided at the time!!!)Having shouted back at him, I left like you, trembling, in tears and thought I would never be able to go out again. But I did, two days later to the same park!!

It was the reacion of the other parent that upset me the most actually. Kids will do these things - yes it is awful and yes they child needs telling off. . But it is NOT THE FAULT OF THE PARENT. Don't let this put you off going out. Unlikely to happne again.

noddyholder · 05/06/2010 17:21

I'm sure you can its my fave park!Sometimes take frinds little girl there she is not exactly tame!I am moving to that area v soon x

Original poster
Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:21

Annie I know you're right and that was what I was (in my head) yelling at the father. I am angry with ,myself for yelling too I keep thinking someone who was In the park will come on here going on about the screeching woman.

Expat, I was mortified ds2 picked on such a younger child. They kept saying "she,s only a baby"

OP posts:
Original poster
Pollyanna · 05/06/2010 17:24

Amothersplace, yes it was the dad who upset me the most. I went to the car and cried too! Will feel better tomorrow no doubt, and going out again (to another park) but maybe ds2 will stay in pushchair!

OP posts:
Francagoestohollywood · 05/06/2010 17:26

I seriously can't understand parents who get so angry for the act of a small toddler.