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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do you stop a toddler running off?

44 replies

madmarchhare · 09/08/2005 14:15

He is fairly boisterous most of the time, but take him outdoors, he forgots everything and runs for the hills. He is only 20 months, should I expect anything else?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

suzywong · 09/08/2005 14:18

I don't think you can expect anything else, safety issues notwithstanding, they like to run; they can run;- they run

Although when ds1 was 24 months and I was getting big with ds2, I did have to go psycho scary mummy to stop him legging it at one particular spot in the park as I knew I soon wouldn't be able to catch him. Put the fear in him and he slowed down a bit but only in that spot.

Just think of the CV work out you're getting and make sure they can't get in to real danger

Morgan · 09/08/2005 14:18

No, expect nothing else ! i used reins and then a wriststrap until I could trust ds more as you never know where they are off to!

Bozza · 09/08/2005 14:19

Reins - or follow him.

RachD · 09/08/2005 14:21

Oh yes, advice please ?
My ds 18mths.
Sometimes, in tesco, in trolley. Other times, I want him to have some freedom & run around. But he just runs off.

Same in the park, or anywhwere actually.
Just runs off.

Bought some reigns the other day. He hates them. I'm not sure about them either.

Am I doing it all wrong (?) - expecting him to like running around supermarkets, yet expecting him to stay close ? Am I expecting too much for his age ?

suzywong · 09/08/2005 14:22

give them a bag of crisps/wholemeal yogurt whatever you can bear and let them eat it in the trolley all the way round the supermarket, those seats go up to 15ks+. make the most of them

Mum2girls · 09/08/2005 14:22

RachD - stick him in the trolley seat, it's the only way. They can run, so they do.

FairyMum · 09/08/2005 14:23

They do run riot at this age and best thing is ony to take them to safe places. I don't do much shopping with toddlers as it is pure hell. I also used reins and made them pretend they were dogs which they quite liked when we were walking.

Marina · 09/08/2005 14:24

Dd and the seaside = opening sequence of The Fall and Rise of Reggie Perrin.
So far it's still an improvement on last year, when she ate so much sand her nappies were pebbledashed...
I am dreading our holiday because of her, the little imp
We use reins in an urban environment so maybe I'll have to tether her to the pushchair - it'll slow her down...a bit.
Ds was never a runner so this is all a bit of a shock to the system.

Original poster

madmarchhare · 09/08/2005 14:25

We deffo sit the seat, I wouldnt dream of taking him in otherwise.

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Original poster

madmarchhare · 09/08/2005 14:28

Its awful, you see all these other well behaved kids walking serenely next to the pushchair and Im thinking everyone is looking at me laughing or at least thinking that I cant control my child.

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anniebear · 09/08/2005 19:03

use reigns or a wrist strap

I always used them, never would fogive myself if one of then had run off into the road

you can always let them 'leg it'!!!! when you are in a safe plave like the park

anniebear · 09/08/2005 19:04

sorry, meant safe place!!

Original poster

madmarchhare · 09/08/2005 21:14

I do have both but dont really like to for some 'doesnt seem quite right' reason. I suppose I'll just have to shut up then!

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frannyf · 09/08/2005 21:24

Those serene well-behaved kids are actually very short 5 year olds...

Think it's perfectly normal for any child this age to constantly be trying to escape. Saw a hilarious break for freedom in the park today - mother running like mad and failing to catch her 2 year old as he ran past the queue, around the barrier and up the 30 foot inflatable bouncy slide

jane313 · 09/08/2005 21:26

Mines been espcaping for months and months, hes 2.2. I started a thread about it while back. Have been using a wrist strap which is ok but doesn't stop him running off when hes let off the lead

leggin it

Original poster

madmarchhare · 09/08/2005 21:41

Thanks for that J313 - Ive tried the getting lost thing and he wasnt in the slightest bit bothered either, and Ive tried the serious voice too - nothing!

I suppose I'll have to keep at it and hopefully as he gets a bit older he'll understand the threat of going home/back in pushchair a bit better.

Like you said, keeps the pounds off though .

OP posts:

NannyL · 09/08/2005 21:54

get reins or a wrist link ASAP BEFORE he runs into the raod gets hit by a car and gets KILLED.

when childre are that young you cant expect anything less, and therefor need to protect them BEFORE they harm themselves

robinia · 09/08/2005 22:23

My ds will be 4 in September and still doesn't get that me losing him is not a good idea. Wrist strap is still used for him in certain situations.

serenity · 09/08/2005 22:38

DD is 21mths and likes to leg it too. She's also very stubborn and does silent protests if I dare put her in reigns or on a wrist strap! She hangs..........and if I lower her down she just lays face down on the floor. That's fine if it's just us and I'm not in a hurry, but a bit of a pita if I've got the other two with me

I find though that if I yell 'stop', she laughs and ignores me, but if I yell 'sit down' she does! I try to only use it as a last resort though, just in case she cottons on to it.....

NannyL...helpful post.

dinny · 09/08/2005 23:06

reins? or wrist strap?

Lizita · 09/08/2005 23:06

No don't expect anything less.
But, I happen to have a very serene almost 2 yo. Yes she has run off in the past, but I have to smugly (sorry) admit that she hardly ever does now. The very consistent consequence, if she did run off, of being put in the pushchair seemed to work. If she threatens to run off now all i have to say once is "DD - You will be put in the pushchair if you run off!" and she comes back to me. (I'm talking about on train stations or at bus stops here (sorry that's very smug! ) I let her run around in safe places!) I must stress though that she has always been a very peaceful, obedient, and timid little girl and it doesn't compare with boisterous, fast little boys! In that case I would say def keep him in the pushchair or on the reigns whenever you don't want him running off!

Had the same problem when I tried using reigns serenity! Plus I feel like madmarchhair, there's something "not quite right" about it. I think I was just determined that dd was going to learn some self-discipline rather than be on a leash being controlled by me, if that makes any sense. Similarly i haven't put everything I don't want her to touch in the house up high apart from dangerous items.

ChicPea · 09/08/2005 23:45

Sorry if this seems like a hijack but I read this with interest as it is one of my concerns. I have DD who is 3 in Sept and DS who is 2 in Oct and they will run in different directions in the park so I feel better taking them with DH or friend. In the steet I generally walk with DS in pushchair and DD walking. Even at her age she does like to run off and finds it really funny so I put a wrist strap on her so that there are no accidents. But I understand some of the other posters commenting that it doesn't feel right for them but it's the only way I feel that my DD is safe. And maybe passers by think it's wrong too.

This is what happened today...

While walking up the hill to the supermarket, DD whines constantly wanting a cuddle (to be carried) and I refuse and try to jolly her along telling her that she enjoys walking, she is a big girl, etc. The walk is about 5 minutes and I just persevere. We get to the supermarket, DD is still complaining/crying and we go inside. I then look at bread and try to get her to help me choose her favourite and I am completely calm showing her the different breads, ie granary, seeded, wholemeal showing her DS's favourite and her favourinte but despite this the whining doesn't stop. I cuddle her but don't lift her. THEN a woman in her seventies (?) says "No wonder she is crying, you have her on a lead just like a dog." This is how I react:

Me: Well if I didn't she would run off.
Woman: She wouldn't do that.
Me: Well, she would and she has. What's better? That she doesn't wear a wrist strap and she runs into the road and is hit by a car and lies dead in the road or that she wears a wrist strap and is alive????
Woman: chin starting to quiver.
Me: I am her mother, I am protecting her and I know what I am doing so mind your own business.
Woman: speechless and walks off

Going back to madmarchhair, if you only have one toddler/child to think about, it is great to let them run in the park, but in the street, it's stressful and they are so quick. When my DD is at nursery in Sept and I have DS, I shall only let him walk in the busy high road with reins or a strap and won't worry about the opinions of passers by.

Lizita · 10/08/2005 00:43

Good on you ChicPea, sounds like you gave that woman what for!
I hope you didn't think I thought as that woman did, it was just that I wanted to give dd the benefit of the doubt first (and this was when she was pretty young), besides, when I did try the reigns, like I said she just hung on them and thought it was a funny game, and as she is so good anyway, it just wasn't worth it.

eidsvold · 10/08/2005 06:00

I use reins....

3yo with sn has just started walking and enjoys the freedom but if we are somewhere she can't be safe - then she has reins. She is pretty good about holding hands but when I have dd2 and her to contend with - then she has reins for we have the toddler seat on the buggy.

At the shops - both go in the trolley - she sits int he toddler seat that is adjacent to tbe baby seat for dd2. No question of her walking around the supermarket. Generally I go shopping at night when dh can look after the dds and I have an hours peace.

Original poster

madmarchhare · 10/08/2005 10:43

Ah, it is good to know it is not just me!

NannyL - I do already have them, when we are by a road he does wear them/holds my hand/is in a pushchair. Did you really think I wasnt doing this already?!

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