How do you stop a toddler running off?

[madmarchhare]

He is fairly boisterous most of the time, but take him outdoors, he forgots everything and runs for the hills. He is only 20 months, should I expect anything else?

I never got on with reins or a wrist-strap. I found the most effective way was to let them walk and if they misbehave to put them straight in the buggy. They soon learn.

Good for you, Chicpea!

Ah chickpea my love did you go to the MarsLady school of how to greet strangers? ROFLMAO!

Good on you girl.

The Identikid wrist bands are also really good too just in case thye get lost.

Ameriscot - my ds has taken about a year already and still hasn't learnt - besides which, I'd really rather not get the buggy out all the time. He is surprisingly accepting of the wrist strap - has a whinge for a couple of minutes and then walks nicely - and was similar when the buggy was the "punishment". He seems to understand that the restraint is the consequence of his not walking nicely but doesn't seem to understand that if he walks with me then he won't need the restraint. (He's 3.11)

Whatever works for you, Robinia. For you, it seems that the wrist strap has the desired effect, whereas for me it's the buggy. The key thing is for them to realise that there are consequences for running off.

I know someone whose ds had his shoulder dislocated because of wrist restraint

I never had a good feeling about wrist straps - my kids always seemed to be dangling from them, each time I experimented with them.

I think there's a big difference though between a 2 yr old who runs off and a 3.5/4.5 yr old who runs off. Lots of 2 yr olds do it - it's sort of a new found freedom - because they've discovered they can run, fast, and escape! I must admit, at 2, I made sure ds knew that he either walked nicely with me or he was going to be strapped in the buggy/have reins put on (but it took a lot of threatening and strapping in the buggy before he got the gist of it!). By 3.5/4.5, you hope they have become responsible enough to walk nicely on the pavement at least - doesn't always work out like that though!

There's another thread in behaviour/development at the moment about older toddlers (like my own) who still like to escape - must be the season for it!

How do you stop them running? Don't let them!

My ds is 2.3yo and NEVER runs off. He tried once and got strapped in. He threw a fit, so I stopped my shopping, left my full trolley with the very nice lady at customer services explaining that we had to go home because my boy didn't know how to behave in a shop, and would she please pack my groceries back on the shelves. He was mortified and VERY angry. When he calmed down I told him that he could only go shopping with me if he behaved. I did not get cross or raise my voice (which I think annoyed him even more), but I was totally firm and immovable. I would not take him back in when he promised to be good. I told him we would try again another day.

He knows that walking in the supermarket is a privilege. If he tries to run off again, he will get strapped in again. If he throws a tantrum, we will go right home. It is a simple choice. He can walk nicely, or he can get strapped in (sometimes he opts for getting strapped in if he doesn't feel like walking). Any tantrums mean shopping is cut short. There are no other options.

We've had one tantrum only. He now is very well behaved in the shops. Of course I avoid taking him if he is tired or hungry (no point in asking for trouble).

Getting him to "help" by holding (non-breakable) items, makes him enjoy it more. And I always praise him while we are in the shop and when we finish by telling him how proud I am of him being such a good boy in the shop.

Of course he loves running and I make sure that he has lots of time and space to run in appropriate places (fenced in parks etc). But he knows that supermarkets (and other similar places) are not places where we run.

I imagine that that there is a fairly big difference in the way their brains work though at 20 months and 2.3. If I left the shopping and just went home, he'd just think 'oh, were going home now' !! I dont really have a problem with shopping anyway, its more outdoors.

I suppose I have to carry on putting him back in the pushchair when necessary and eventually he'll get.

So no magic tricks then?, Vulcan grip?, oh never mind!

Wow, this is so helpful - it actually never occurred to me to try and train ds not to run off, just not to step off the pavement (he's only 19 mo so that's reeeeaaally going to work). But after an extremely near miss last week on the road, I need to get my act together on this. Thanks all, you may seriously have saved a life!

I think you need to be consistent in how your react to your toddler's behaviour and they will soon get the message, no matter how young they are.

They don't have to understand about the dangers of getting lost, or getting run over - they just need to learn that running off = getting put back in buggy. It's important to stay really calm and not shout at the child because half the time they are just running off in order to get a reaction from you. It's best to save shouts for the really dangerous situations. Easier said than done, though.

I don't think I would react quite as strongly as Kiwikate, though. I could not imagine walking out of a supermarket with 90% of the work done, only have to return a short time later and do it all again. Who are you punishing?

Madmarchhare, my DS's tantrum was at around 19/20 months. He really got it.

Ameriscot, I did not return a short time later. That was the whole point. We went back another day. It really worked for me. One time tough stance, and DS really got it.

I agree that you do have to be consistent. If you say you are going to take them home, then you must do it (if they continue to do whatever you are objecting to). Or if you say you are going to strap them in then you must do it.

I also agree, no point in making a big fuss as that can be counterproductive.

It is a real pleasure to go shopping with my DS after that incident. He was testing the boudaries before, and he soon learned what the boundaries are. We both have heaps of fun when we shop now. Although it was tough to reinforce the issue at the time, it has paid of hugely.

We would have starved if we had to wait a few days...

in the supermarket he has to go in the trolley otherwise he runs, takes everything of the shelves and i cant get the shopping done, so i let him help shop, he is 15 months, i give him thinks to hold that are safe then he puts them in the trolley and we talk and play games all the way round but when he has time for the garden, walks or goes to the park i try and use the reins to stop his running away as he moves so fast, he is ok with reins but if yours wont wear them takes them somewhere safe to run free.

I have the same problem right now with a child at my school. She's a child with special needs attending a mainstream kindergarten class. What I have set up for now are some pylons outside when we have outdoor play so that it is a visual to show her how far she should travel. However she has made this into a game when I try to catch up with her by running further away. When I catch up with her, I kneel down to her level and I tell her name changed "Cindy, that's too far." Today she replied back, 'too far' and ran into the classroom instead of ourdoor play. So I decided to have her stay in and do some activities with me instead of playing her game. I think she is seeking attention, however I don't want her to wander too far away. Our school does not have a courtyard for the young ones to play in. Does anyone else have any ideas except for that wrist thing? I don't think that they are allowed where I am. I've thought of some visuals such as getting a stop sign, and also redirecting her to other activities, but sometimes it's a struggle to get her to remain at an activity. Thanks for any suggestions I really appreciate it.