risk of exclusion from school

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I'll try to cut this short..basically had to see headmaster this morning because of 8 yr old son's aggressive behaviuor...again.
Apparently, they feel it has got to the stage where he may have to move to a pupil referral unit to be taught in future. Am absolutely gutted as this will almost certainly affect his academic results (at the moment he is a year ahead of his classmates).
He started this behaviour whilst in nursery and when he started school full time he was statemented. I felt this would label him as bad before he'd even started school but the nursery felt it was necessary...so we went along with this.
Anyway, after several run ins with other parents regarding my child hitting their children, it all seemed to settle down, but has gradually re-emerged since xmas.
Is anyone else in same position, or can offer any advice?
I am not too concerned about his schoolwork because he is very bright, but am deeply worried about this behaviour. Have tried to explain to him that he will end up with no friends at school (as is the case now at home) but it just does not seem to sink in.
He almost seems to want everybody to hate him...whereas I just want him to be happy and popular.

What should I do?

Think putting him in pru requires him to have already been excluded multiple times. That's certainly the case at our school!
This shouldn't be the first you are hearing about it.
Talk to school!

What sanctions do the teachers carry out when he behaves violently? What effect do they have? What about at home? Is the statement for EBD?

Has he been looked at for ADHD? Sounds like he can't moderate his own behaviour?

why not ask the school about counseling all schools have that now or have another member of the family talk to him what is worrying him etc too much is put down to adhd when maybe it is something that can be sorted by talking goog luck

have been reading this book today about bright and challenging children and its him down to a t.
he has been warned by the school so many times...but he just doent seem to understand the seriosness of situation.
Have been reading this book and from what i can tell he needs to have more boundaries set.
I can do this at home, but schools nowadays are so bloody wishywashy that i cant see them doing this.
they really need to be bring back the cane. Not to actually use of course, but i remember when i was at school that the mere thought of being sent to the heads office was terrifying. Why cant they do this now? kids rights sucks!

Does he have a pet?

Set boundaries but reward the positive.
Eg Doing as he's told - reward every time he does- praise/ star chart etc rather than just punishing the times he doesn't
schools aren't wishy washy btw and as a teacher I can imagine plenty of our troubled children being even worse off in the long term if we brought back the cane. It's not what they need.

I would be very surprised if he was moved to a PRU unless he has already been excluded multiple times - what sanctions have the school used already?

You say he is statemented - is he getting the appropriate 1to1 or other support in class?

What does he say himself about his aggressive behaviour?

Sorry about all the questions - just need a bit more to go on!

I agree with the positive reward DS school does to seem to 'punish' the unacceptable but doesn't 'reward' when the child does then show these good behaviours and it caused a lot of problems for my DS (5) who knew he'd get attention for being a pain!!

My immediate thought was the fact that your son is 'bright'. What does his statement say??

I think perhaps he maybe could go up to the next class for maths and literacy. I have a friend whos a teacher and they do this at her school now as she had a pupil the same as your son. She said once he went into the yr 4 class and saw he was only as able as them and they put him in his place! he actually calmed down and is an absolute joy to teach now. He was also given peer responsibility which means he kinda mentors a lad who is struggling making him feel good about himself. The year 3+4 do their maths and literacy at the same time and 'mix'.

I agree that he would have to be excluded a few times before PFU is considered but I wouldn't mention this to the HT in case it gives him any ideas.

Best of luck.

My son was very aggressive at primary, he got his Aspergers diagnosis at in Y3.
Strategies worked, including very clear boundaries. He's now in mainstream Y10.

You need to talk to your GP and be very specific about exactly what the behaviour is and in what situations. CAMHS can help you with getting access to support and working out what his exact combination of needs is. The inclusion team attached to the LEA will help with avoiding exclusion or an inappropriate transfer to a PRU.
You will need to be very proactive, doesn't sound as if the head and school have a lot of experience with supporting a statemented child.

Yup, that's exactly how it goes swallowedAfly.
Unless your children are either in a school doing its job properly or...
Daadaa!
Your child has a teacher who's son has a specific need and who knows how to advocate for others. And knows exactly what it feels like to watch their child beginning to fail when what they need is appropriate support.
Goblinchild Twohats.

ulp
'whose son'

what about trying the local parent partnership? They should be able to give you some advice.

What additional funding...this is the first Ive heard about funding
I took him to see GP last year when he was excluded for first time and asked if it could be a medical condition ie ADHD.
She just asked him a few vague questions about why he behaved this way (in front of me) then sort of shrugged.
I then asked her to refer him to a child physcologist or something...anything, but she said the local child centre did not take children younger than 8 years old ( he was 7 at the time).
This will be the second time he s been excluded, if it gets to that. Whilst I understand that the school needs to protect other children from his behaviour, I dont think exclusion works. All this seems to do is give him a weeks holiday from school!!!
Yes he is extremely bright, and the school acknowledges this. He does take maths and literacy classes with the next year up.
But after the last meeting with his teacher regarding this last aggressive episode, his teacher basically said that he does not know where to go from here...handing the ball back to me. I cannot control his behaviour in school though, unless I actually sit in class with him...can I?
When weve tried to talk to my son about his behaviour, he says he doesnt know why he behaves this way. I fear it may be that he just enjoys the attention, good or bad, its attention and b and c children apparently love this.

Sorry what you are saying is complete and utter balls.

You need to back the school up with punshment for the way he behaves at school when he is at home - stop him doing things he likes and take things away from him - you cannot just expect the school to control his behaviour unless yuou are seen to be taking action about his bahviour as a whole.

As for the weeks holiday - it deosn;t seem such fun when you spend the time galring at him and making him realise that his bahviour is totally unacceptable - get work sent home and make sure he does it - no TV, no PC nothing fun until he shows that he is going to work with you and the school to moderate his bahviour.

Asd for the CAMHS and child psychologist route - well they are very stretched with kids who are seriously mentall ill or going through huge traumas in their families, having to put up with things that would make your blood run cold - bad behaviour needs to be tackled by you and the school jointly - he needs to see that this cannot go on and you are going to have to seriously take him to task.

Is he only violent at school or is his behaviour aggressive all the time?

I agree. If he sees exclusion as a weeks holiday, you are doing it wrong!

However, if he genuinely can't help his outbursts, it won't help. It sounds like you need to get to the bottom of why he does it rather than jut punishing him.

So this is his second official exclusion and you have all the paperwork that accompanies exclusion?

After exclusion it is normal policy for there to be a reintergration meeting to discuss the exclusion reasons and to try and move forward. I think that you need parent partnership / behavioural support / LA incluion officer involved or at least aware of the difficulties in the placement. You need to be looking at triggers / de-escalation methods. Look at what has been tried and if it has worked. How long stratergies have been in place, who is responsible for monitoring / evaluating.

I would expect a behaviour support plan to be in place - does it need ammending.

I am suprised at the PRU suggestion. My own LA does not have primary places at all in the PRU. Managed moves are usually considered if a placement has totally collapsed.

I do think you need to talk to the school and see if you can adopt joint home/school strategies. Do you have a home/school diary for communication or maybe a tracking sheet. External support (CAMHS for example) may be helpful but you need to be aware that there will be a waiting list and you really don't want the problems to escalate further and working with school is vital for your ds.

Lets get this straight...he did not spend the week he was excluded in front of tv or pc games...he was completely grounded, no treats, no sweets, no new toys, nothing he enjoys...just lolling about moaning about being bored.
And we do back the school up 100%. We ground him when weve had issues with his teacher, no friends allowed to come round and play, no tv that he wants to watch, no playstation etc.
We remove all the things he enjoys the most...still his behaviour continues.
Yes he is the same at home as he is at school, and we punish him by removing the things he enjoys most. But if the school wont punish his behaviour whilst at school, ie no playtimes or detention, then what can we do?
We have no knowledge of this extra funding and he does not get additional help at school from this funding.

Moving a child to a PRU depends on the LA. They may have Pru's set up as preventative, for children at risk of permament exclusion, or they may take children on fixed-term exclusions, or they may take chidren who have been permamently excluded. Depending on the LA's arrangements, children can be on-roll there full or part-time and many PRU's do take primary aged children.

Has he got an IEP or a Behavioural Education Plan? Is the SENCO involved? Is he on the SEN registe?