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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it OK for a 2.9 yr old to still be in a cot bed?

53 replies

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 14:25

We are thinking of taking the bars off the sides of ds bed. He is great sleeper, sleeps from 7pm til 6:30am, rarely wakes int the night unless ill. Never attempts to climb out of the cot in the night. Is it worth upsetting it all just because people (my friends who all had their babies in beds by 16 - 18 months) seem to think he should be in a bed by now? Even dh is keen to get him in a bed and 'stop babying him'.

Part of me wants to encourage him to grow up and be in a bed etc but the other part of me thinks why rock the boat when we have always been so lucky with him at night time??!

I was in my cotbed til I was 4yrs old apparently (I can vividly remember still sleeping in there) and as far as I know has done me no harm... so what do you all think?

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Original poster

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 14:27

Oooops clicked it twice by accident! Sorry!

OP posts:

Littlefish · 05/05/2010 14:27

Due to moving house etc. dd has only just moved out of her cot bed and she's 5 and a half!

Littlefish · 05/05/2010 14:28

I should just clarify - this was with the cot bed as a bed (ie. with the sides off).

AmazingBouncingFerret · 05/05/2010 14:30

DS is 3 and a half and is still in his cot bed. But the sides are off. We took them off just before he turned a year old. But we have been very lucky with DS and had no sleeping troubles with him at all.
(DD is a completely different story )

thepuddingchef · 05/05/2010 14:32

do whatever you want, every child is different. My dd is in a junior bed and she's 2 in July, she loves it, but then she wanted to be like her big brother.... if it wasn't for that the only reason I would have moved her if it was dangerous that she was climbing out......if not then as you say why rock the boat! I wouldn't!

Original poster

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 14:33

See that's what worries me... if I take the sides off, will it be a nightmare of having to keep returning him to bed all night? Also at the moment he wakes at 6:30am and is usually happy to lay singing in his cot for half an hour while I get dressed and get his milk etc. If I take the sides off, I can see him just getting straight up or coming through to us all night.

OP posts:

PaulinePetrovaPosy · 05/05/2010 14:33

yes
I keep mine in until i would like them to be out of nappies at night
I always wonder why not? Mine sleep great in cots and i do not want to change this - i do not see why where they sleep impact on maturity - just makes them less grouchy as they have slept well!

Original poster

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 14:35

Thanks pudding, that's how I feel. Whilever he is happy and safe then it really shouldn't matter to anyone else. Others seem to think he is no longer a baby and it's not right for him to still have the bars on etc. My MIL seems to think I am stunting his development and independance blah blah blah.

OP posts:

skidoodly · 05/05/2010 14:36

I hope so. I'm planning to keep DD in cot bed with bars on until around 3.

EggyAllenPoe · 05/05/2010 14:36

although i got lots of stick for this from MIL, mine is still in a cot bed with sides off, just because her room is really small, she hasn't outgrown the cot...and why not? it's jsut somewhere to sleep.

MIl was setting it up as some kind of develpomental stage i was keeping her back from don't get that at all..

thepuddingchef · 05/05/2010 14:37

I have a stair gate on dd room, she gets out of bed and just plays with her toys if she is up before me....doesn't mind one bit, in fact she loves playing quietly as when her brother wakes up all hell breaks loose!

pud1 · 05/05/2010 15:21

my friends dd was in cot bed with side up untill 4. she never made any effort to climb out untill one morning when she climbed out and fell over the side severly breaking her leg. dont want to frighten you but be very careful

EggyAllenPoe · 05/05/2010 15:25

i was going to say, we took the sides off becuase she was climbing over them, and she might fall...

PollDancer · 05/05/2010 15:33

I don't really understand why people get their dc out of cots so early either. DD is 20m and quite happy in there and I've got no intention of taking the sides off for some time! She's in a sleeping bag and so far it hasn't occurred to her to try to climb out, she loves being in bed!

Have a friend who put her dd in a bed soon after 1 and wonders why she gets out of bed all evening and pulls all the clothes out of her drawers in the bedroom etc. erm.. because she can?!

LoveBeingAMummy · 05/05/2010 15:36

My dd will be in there till she starts climbing out of it and not until then

PollDancer · 05/05/2010 15:38

I'm going to wait for a formal request in writing from my DD

LoveBeingAMummy · 05/05/2010 15:40

... or her dh

seashore · 05/05/2010 15:46

Hi, our dd is 3 and a half, she is still in her cot bed (with side bars) she loves it anytime I mention a change she's says no. Like yours, she is great at night and I don't want to upset that especially as we have ds 9 months. I think mostly people take them out of their cots too early, I don't know why. DD has never tried to climb out so I think as long as she is happy we will leave things as they are for a while yet. Her cot seems to make her feel safe, she says when it's changed into a bed her toys will roll out.

PollDancer · 05/05/2010 15:47

FacePalm · 05/05/2010 15:48

My Ds is still in his cot bed, and he was 2 in Jan. However, in the next cpl months i am thinking of removing the sides, he is getting a tad too tall, and i can see him being able to climb out soon. At that point we will remove the sides, and get a stair gate for his door, as his door does not shut properly, it sticks! (My dh is so anti diy it is unreal)

heth1980 · 05/05/2010 15:56

My DD1 is 2.2 and will be staying in her cot for as long as possible!! She sleeps well at night and still naps for 2 hours every afternoon.....she would never do that in a bed. I really don't understand why some people are in such a hurry to get their little ones out of the cot........I have a friend who took the bars off the cotbed at 12 months - she complains incessantly about how difficult it is to get her DD to stay in the bed and how she won't sleep in the day any more....I really have to bite my tongue sometimes!!

PrettyCandles · 05/05/2010 15:58

All of mine were in their cots until they physically outgrew them (ds1 & dd 3.5y, ds2 3y) and then moved straight into a full size bed with bedguard. We have never had to return either of the boys to their beds at bedtime. Dd OTOH was up and down like a yoyo for a few weeks.

I don't see anything wrong with staying in thecot. Mine moved on when they were ready.

It's just daft to push children on because they shouldn't be being babyed. 18m is still baby, and so is 2.5y in some ways. Saying they should be out of their cot because they are 2 is like saying a 3yo shouldn't have naps because she won't be able to nap at school - it's just rushing them out of childhood and that is unkind.

Danthe4th · 05/05/2010 16:00

All 4 of my children have been great sleepers, they all stayed in the cot until they were age 4. Their heads and toes nearly touched each end. They were fine, I used to put the side down and a stool so they could climb out to go to the toilet.
I don't understand the need to get a child into a bed so soon.

lumpasmelly · 05/05/2010 16:03

He might surprise you - DS2 ( who is 2.8) moved into a big boy bed last month and when he did we told him he wasn't allowed to get out of it and had to wait for someone to get him up. He has not left his bed AT ALL...so he does exactly as he did in the cot (i.e. sings to himself and plays with the toys in his bed when he wakes up, calls to us when he wants to get up etc). I will hasten to add that he is not a docile little boy - he's a real live wire - if anyone had told me he would stay in his bed as he has been told to, I would have laughed.......I have shared this tale with friends and many of them have had the same experiences with their children so its not unusual for them to stay put.

MrsLevinson · 05/05/2010 16:17

My DD is also 2.9 and we talk the sides of her cot bed off about 3 months ago, expecting her to be getting up in the night, early in the morning etc. But she hasn't got out of bed once, it's almost as if she doesn't realise she can! She has also slept in a proper bed at other people's houses and the same thing - she doesn't try to get up and just waits for us to come and get her, so you might be pleasantly surprised at what happens if you give it a go.

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