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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is it OK for a 2.9 yr old to still be in a cot bed?

53 replies

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 14:25

We are thinking of taking the bars off the sides of ds bed. He is great sleeper, sleeps from 7pm til 6:30am, rarely wakes int the night unless ill. Never attempts to climb out of the cot in the night. Is it worth upsetting it all just because people (my friends who all had their babies in beds by 16 - 18 months) seem to think he should be in a bed by now? Even dh is keen to get him in a bed and 'stop babying him'.

Part of me wants to encourage him to grow up and be in a bed etc but the other part of me thinks why rock the boat when we have always been so lucky with him at night time??!

I was in my cotbed til I was 4yrs old apparently (I can vividly remember still sleeping in there) and as far as I know has done me no harm... so what do you all think?

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PaulinePetrovaPosy · 05/05/2010 19:57

i love this thread !

sallyJayGorce · 05/05/2010 20:00

DD2 had the sides off hers at 18 months. She gets up but she shares with two older siblings so they all get up and play.

lovechoc · 05/05/2010 20:13

DS was 23 months when he moved from his cot to a double bed. It took him a few nights to get used to it but after that he's been fine.

I don't think there's any rush tbh, it all depends on your child and how much space they take up in the cot. DS's cot was tiny so he had to get moved to a bed.

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 05/05/2010 21:18

DS was around the same age when we moved him to a bed. It's been fine, except that he gave up his daytime nap the very same day - even though he still (at just 3) is not completely ready to, as he often naps at nursery and guaranteed in the car so there's definitely a link there.

But your ds may have already stopped daytime sleeps in any case (?) so wouldn't affect that.

It's made no real difference to waking in the morning - he's often awake before we get him up but is happy playing with toys/books in his room as before.

Still have safety gate on his door so he hasn't come in to us - I suspect he would try if the gate wasn't there.

We have also had to put him back in bed (while asleep) many times during the night - though he seems perfectly happy asleep on the floor with his duvet and bunny

I wouldn't worry about doing it just cos of what other people might think - who cares?! We only did it when DD was born and thought it would help the transition to big brother iyswim.

Clare123 · 05/05/2010 21:23

My friend's little boy still sleeps in a cot at 3, still has dummies and bottles and still wears babygros (can't believe she can find them to fit). I have wondered about this..............but I guess if they are happy, and they are. It is no one elses business!

CharlieBoo · 05/05/2010 22:00

Gosh 3 and a half year olds still in cots with sides on!!!!!! I guess if it works for you then why rock the boat but they can't be in there forever :-D

Original poster

meandjoe · 05/05/2010 22:11

he naps on the sofa so wouldn't affect him fattipuffsandthinifers. Pleased to hear there are plenty of other toddlers stil in cots. Everyone seems mad on getting them into beds as soon as thy turn one! Think I will leave it for a while but am hoping he will surprise me and stay in bed!

OP posts:

wastingaway · 05/05/2010 22:17

DS is two next week, and I'm planning on taking the sides off the cot bed soon.

I wasn't in any rush, but I need him to be able to sleep in one of those inflatable ready-beds in a month when we go on holiday. No way will he fit in his travelcot anymore!

The only problem I can see in keeping them in a cot is safety. It's a long way to fall. I hate to hear DS running up and down the cot in his grobag, sooo dangerous. So I'm buying a duvet this week.

Chandra · 05/05/2010 22:20

I don't see a problem with the cot bed, my bed is only a few inches longer than I am, and I sleep well in it.

I'm sure DS had, proportionally, far more than that space when he was still in his small bed. He was in it until he was 5, I'm sure that he would still fit perfectly in it.

PaulinePetrovaPosy · 07/05/2010 00:15

people have some odd ideas that where your child sleeps has a bearing on its development or maturity

search the archives for tales of woe about children taking huge steps back when moved too soon and parents rue ing the day

seems plain old good common sense to me to keep them snug in a cot as long as they want

SuziKettles · 07/05/2010 00:22

Ds is still in a cot at 3.5. It's got a drop side and that's now permanently down so he can climb in and out no bother at all.

We were assuming that a) we'd have moved by now and b) he'd have a brother or sister who would be in the cot.

Neither a) nor b) has happened and we don't really have anywhere to store the cot, so as long as he's happy & we're happy we'll keep the status quo.

Nikkiweath · 07/05/2010 00:46

There is no right or wrong just as long as everyone is ok with it. Although I do think it is sometimes alot safer taking the cot side off as it has got to hurt less falling from mattress height than The over the top of the cot bars. :~)

Bibmother · 07/05/2010 02:22

One of the main reasons I took the sides off my ds2's cot bed when he was 18 months was then when we go away on holiday it's much easier to have them both (with ds1 4yrs) in single beds in a room in a cottage/apartment rather than than try and have 2 single beds and a travelcot which now by he'd be far too big for anyway (he's 2.5yr now) in a small room and be clambering over everything just to get round the place.

Both are still in cot bed length beds and I guess judging by the length of the 4 year and the bed will be in there for another year or two before we have to buy a full length bed.

Both feel out a couple of times when we switched to cot-beds rather than cots but it was never a real problem and neither got up during the night. The only problem (with ds1 rather than ds2) was getting him to have his naps, sometimes I ended up putting him back in ds2's cot just to go to sleep!

Nettiespagetti · 07/05/2010 02:39

DS went into cotbed no sides at 18m to get him used to it before DD arrived cos she would need cotbed! He now has a full size single midsleeper bed.

DH talks about moving DD 19m into cotbed no signs but I feel she not long started sleeping through and no sign of climbing out so gonna leave it for now.

Don't be pressured just listen to ur child.

SofiaAmes · 07/05/2010 03:42

Just do what is right for you and your child. It makes absolutely no difference what others are doing, just what is right for you.
I had the opposite problem, my ds moved out of his cot very very early of his own accord. We bought a bed for my stepds and ds fell in love with it and moved in (poor stepds). He constantly fell out of it from day 1. But then again, he is now 9 years old and still regularly falls out of bed (rarely wakes up as a result, if that's any consolation). Dd is 7 and still gets in to bed with me several times a week. They will both grow up to be successful, well adjusted children, despite what the neighbors think.

Rosebud05 · 08/05/2010 19:59

We've only just taken the sides off our dd's cot bed and she was 3 in March (her choice), though she never attempted to climb out, which would have obviously influenced things. It looks like she'll be in the bed for a couple of years - they're pretty roomy and save space in a smallish room.

sailingby · 09/05/2010 22:38

We removed the sides from DS's cot bed 2 weeks ago: he's 3.5yo. We didn't beforehand as DD (14mo) has only just started sleeping throught the night and we couldn't face having both of them with disrupted sleep.

Friends who had DC2 at the same time as our DD moved their DC1 into a cot before DC2 arrived (so they only had to buy one cot) - then had a nightmare dealing with an upset (at no longer being the "one and only")toddler traipsing into parents room multiple times in the night, and a new baby. Insane.

The move to the bed (ie no cot sides) had no effect on DS: he only fell out once and never got out of bed. But last weekend we moved him to the duvet - and I'm up at least twice a night putting it back on for him - or he wakes stroppy in the night because he is too hot.

He still lies in bed in the morning (at 6am) shouting at us that he wants to get up - and waiting for us to go in to him. Time I had words with the lazy tike little cherub and explained that he's a big boy and should try to manage the duvet / getting up in the morning without shouting for us!

JaynieB · 09/05/2010 22:48

We moved DD out of cot and into a toddler bed at around 2 and a half - but put a gate on the bedroom door at the same time. oddly she really likes the gate and will often shut herself in to play in her room, I think it makes her feel secure - she does still ask where her cot went though. She's 3 now.

loiscampbell · 10/05/2010 02:12

Hi Lumpasmelly,our son is still in his cot at age 6, we have 4 boys and dont have room for all the boys, hes fine with the cot

NellyTheElephant · 10/05/2010 10:03

I really don't think it matters if he still has the bars on provided he is happy - as it is a cotbed there is plenty of room. I had to take sides off DD2's cot at 18 months as she was a climber and that was v annoying as she was then all over the place the whole time. But when you do take the sides off you may well find with a slightly older child that you don't have any issues. When I took sides off for DD1 (just before 2), she didn't even seem to notice initially, just stayed in bed as normal. Of course they all go through stages of running around causing trouble though.... For me apart from climbing issues one strong reason for getting them used to no sides is for staying with other people (grandparents / cousins / holidays etc). Once they are used to sleeping in a bed they can sleep anywhere, but travel cots are really too small after about 2 so you get a bit stuck.

loiscampbell · 10/05/2010 12:25

we still use the bars becouse he gets up in the night

maxybrown · 10/05/2010 14:16

My Ds has never slept in a cot, just wet beserk!! Happy in the moses basket which he was in until he was about 6 months, but a cot no way!! But happily slept in a bed. yes he gets up in the morning, but hey I would want him to!! But then we have never ever had the "benefit" of him lying in his cot so I suppose I don't notice it. Though I am often up before him anyway. He has never once got out when he shouldn't though or got out to mess around. He is 2.7

MumNWLondon · 10/05/2010 19:01

Personally I'd leave them in it for as long as possible. With DD I needed the cot for DS when she was 2.5 (although she was reluctant to give it up), DS had had enough of the cot when we moved house when he was 2.5 and he could climb out (it wasn't a cotbed though just regular cot).

DD is currently lying in the cot with DS2 who is 3 weeks old. She is 6.5 and her feet / head almost touch the top / bottom (but not quite), and thats a cot not a cotbed!

simpson · 10/05/2010 19:05

well DD (2.3) is on her 2nd night in a big girl bed and I have just gone up to check her and had to play hunt the little person as she was just gone!!

Finally found her fast asleep under the bed

Babyisaac · 10/05/2010 21:51

Hi Meandjoe!
Was thinking about you the other day. My HN baby is now 2.4 and although is lovely during the day we are currently going through hell at night with him. We moved him into a toddler bed about 6 weeks ago but I'm expecting DC no.2 in August (I know, after the hell we went through with DS?!!!) so wanted him to get used to being in a bed and not getting kicked out of a cot.

The reason I was thinking about you is that I wondered how your DS slept in a bed, since their temperaments are very alike. So you've answered my question. Anyway, DS is getting up around 4 times a night and has regressed into a baby wanting me to be there with him so he can fall asleep. I have had to resort to the Supernanny approach of putting him back to bed constantly. It can take up to 30 times and is very exhausting especially with me being 27 wks pg!! He screams hysterically the minute I walk away and this pattern is repeated several times a night.

I don't want to put you off putting your DS into a bed but I would say not to rush things. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!!! We really didn't have much choice and certainly can't go back but I'm spitting feathers that he was a brilliant sleeper when he was in a cot but is now an awful sleeper.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!! x

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