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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

if you have a 7 year old....tell me their worst, recent behaviour!

73 replies

sleepingsowell · 03/05/2010 22:05

I have a DS who is 8 very soon. He has for the first time ever been really 'challenging' at home recently. I have never felt before that I couldn't deal with him, but lately....it's just rudeness, etc but it's out of character

I would love to know if this is something 'normal', could anyone post examples of their 7 or 8 year old's 'worst'?

I really don't know whether to be worried or not! Or whether this is something more usual.

TIA

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estar · 04/05/2010 11:18

I really like the 'Raising Boys' book by Stephen Biddulph. It talks about the three stages of a boy's ife as 0-6, 7-12 and 13+ and how their personalities and needs change for each phase. Really helped when my seven year old kept kicking off last year - he is now (if I do say so myself ) a lovely communicative eight year old.

SoMuchToBits · 04/05/2010 11:20

They still argue over the rules with cricket though, unless it's at the cricket club.

Yes I think that the nerds may well get their revenge later

allegrageller · 04/05/2010 11:21

haven't read that estar- does it talk about the testosterone surge other posters are mentioning?

Franca ds1 really can't do football, bless him he is just so obsessed with winning and not a team player! He has resorted to card collecting as far easier to triumph at....

Francagoestohollywood · 04/05/2010 11:27

Yes, I think Biddulph is the testosterone guy.

Ds seems now less obsessed by winning all the time, thankfully.

stealthsquiggle · 04/05/2010 11:36

estar I think I may have to read that book (I have resisted so far). He has always been like me, character-wise, to date, but I cannot swallow my pride quite enough to ask my DM if I was really this bad at 7

SoMuch - in order to shut him up placate him, I have been working on a prototype dragon with him - I will send you a link to the picture and you can show your DS.

SoMuchToBits · 04/05/2010 11:40

Thanks stealth - ds has recently been working on a car for his friend's teddy bear. I'll have to see if I can photograph that and send it to you!

stealthsquiggle · 04/05/2010 11:45

Sent - you will get a random message from Flickr!

So - to return to the OP a little - do any of the "survivors" have top tips as to how you got through this particular phase without killing either yourself or your DS?

SoMuchToBits · 04/05/2010 11:52

Dragon is brilliant! Thanks stealth!

I'm not sure about any tips - we did try talking to school when ds was having friend problems, and trying to explain to ds that he wouldn't have any friends if he carried on being so bossy. But I don't know if it made much difference. School seemed to think he was getting on ok anyway, and ds still carried on bossing. But he does seem to have sorted things out a bit now. I think channelling them into something that really interests them with other people who share that interest can help. For ds that was joining the cricket club, it helped him a lot. As would joining a Playmobil/Lego club if such a thing had been available. Or a lifeboat-spotters' club!

lilmissmummy · 04/05/2010 14:11

Oooh I will try that book thanks estar!

I think we are going to try ds with tennis and golf. He used to love Football and Rugby before his "mid-child-crisis" and now thinks it might be too rough.

Bless your sons obsession with cricket SoMuch! I wonder if he will play for his country one day Sounds like he has potential!

The only way that we got through it was to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. So if he didnt break down in the shop because they ha run out of his favourite sausages, we would say how grown up he was being!

Even our then 4 year old dd commented a couple of times "why is ds being such a cry baby!"

SoMuchToBits · 04/05/2010 14:44

Haha, lilmiss, he is now in the county under 10 squad and really loves cricket - but is equally obsessed by lifeboats and Playmobil!

The book sounds interesting - I may have to read it, especially as I grew up in a "girl-oriented" house (having 2 sisters).

Ripeberry · 04/05/2010 14:48

So glad I found this thread. My 7yr old DD is turning into a monster. She has tantrums when she does not get her own way.
I'm told at least twice a day that I'm a "Mean Mummy" just because I won't let her have a sweet .
Tries to order me around, barking out orders and the worst behaviour, especially in shops is when she tries to 'make' me buy her something, by blocking my way and pushing and pulling me back.
Almost pushed me into an elderly man in one shop .
She was grounded after that, but my 5yr old DD is quite shocked by it all.

stealthsquiggle · 04/05/2010 14:57

Ripeberry don't shatter our illusions - we are all happily blaming testosterone - but I guess there is no reason why girls wouldn't go through similar hormone-related shifts at the same age ?

Original poster

sleepingsowell · 04/05/2010 15:00

lilmiss, am just loving the phrase 'Mid-Child Crisis' !

That's genius.

OP posts:

TheInvisibleManDidIt · 04/05/2010 15:04

We went through this with Ds1- he's 10 now and has outgrown the 'I'm going to run away and find a family that really loves me' phase. He is quite an emotional, sensitive soul but the constant drama from him was unbelievable. Dh and I called it his jekyll and hyde stage.

Ds2 is such a different personality type- so laid back and easy going. Nothing phases him and he's always such a happy wee thing. Thought he would bypass this stage all together. But no- he was 8 a few months ago and has turned into an insolent, moody boy that would argue black is white.

They do grow out of it, but it's very trying. Not sure about girls, but with my boys it seems like this is the age their emotions hit them full pelt. Took an awful lot of patience with ds1 to help him understand this and learn how to deal with them. Now have to go through it all again with ds2!!

lilmissmummy · 04/05/2010 19:03

I'm glad it is not just me! I was seriously considering counselling (although not too sure for him or me ).

Please say it is not true for girls!!

Ripeberry · 04/05/2010 22:05

Oh yes! Girls get it as well, with the screeching , pouting and foot stamping!

AntoinetteOuradi · 04/05/2010 22:10

Thrilled that I've found this thread. My DS is nearly eight and can be unspeakably foul (rude, aggressive, shouty, answering back etc etc etc). I find it particularly frightful as I don't shout myself. I don't want to revisit some of the foul things he's said or done, but I do want to say that you are not alone, sleepingsowell!

lilmissmummy · 04/05/2010 22:49

Noooooooooo not girls too

Original poster

sleepingsowell · 05/05/2010 09:50

Welcome to the sisterhood, Antoinette

Just wanted to say - I only have a boy! Hurrah!

This morning's problem - homework. Had to be handed in. He'd chosen to do it this morning (sensible choice, because of his SEN he is shattered after school so not a good time then)
Of course now did not want to do it. Cue lying on the floor, ranting, shouting.

Thanks to this thread and you ladies I was able to not get drawn into this, stayed almost very calm and we got through it fairly quickly.

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 05/05/2010 10:59

I am sticking my fingers in my ears on the subject of girls. DD has more than enough ways of being challenging that are all her very own without my having to face the possibility that she, too, will go through this phase.

I have to say, 'talking' to others in the same situation has brought me back from the brink of desperation and I feel better able to deal with it - and so far, that seems to have resulted in DS calming down somewhat. He only lost it once last night and I didn't have to shout at him at all - which is major progress.

lilmissmummy · 05/05/2010 11:09

It has helped me too, DS was hysterical last night about all people that God wouldn't allow onto Noahs ark ( ?!!?) but I was able to take a step back thanks to you all and tell him he was over reacting and it wasn't his teachers fault! It was over fairly soon and he fell asleep 10 minutes later.

Yay!

Original poster

sleepingsowell · 05/05/2010 12:26

that it helped you both and at the Noah's Ark hysteria. that's such a brilliant example of the lack of logic involved with some of these meltdowns!

OP posts:

AntoinetteOuradi · 05/05/2010 19:15

I know it's not funny when you're mid tantrum, but I did laugh about Noah's Ark.

I have a girl too. Yippee.

We'd have had the same homework crisis, sleepingsowell...

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