Page 3 | I'm really worried about a child in my sons class

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

aloha · 03/07/2003 14:38

Actually, before anyone thinks I'm being really holier-than-thou, I do leave my ds in the car while I pay at the garage - I can see my car and ds from the till point and it takes five minutes. My nanny has put ds in the car outside the house and then popped back to grab a cup or something. This was something very different. The man had NO CAR SEATS for a start. Would you walk past a car like that with a hysterical baby in it and really do nothing? Truly?

Frenchgirl · 03/07/2003 14:40

absolutely agree with you aloha, you did the right think IMO!

Enid · 03/07/2003 14:41

Well, truly, I don't think I would have done anything as I am typically British and probably just would have tutted and looked around for the mum/dad. But I dont think you were wrong to do what you did and you certainly don't need to apologise

tigermoth · 03/07/2003 17:26

One thing that occurred to me about your car crisis situation, aloha.

Although it was a very hot day, the car might not have been so hot inside. If the car had air conditioning, the interior would stay cool for a while even when parked and with the engine and air con turned off. And on a hot day, keeping the car windows closed would have help preserve the coolness inside.

As you weren't inside the car you would not know what the interior temperature was - unless of course you saw the children sweating or you were sure the car had no air con.

However you say you waited for much longer than it takes for a parent to run a quick errand, so the chances of the car staying cool inside would decrease.

Like jimjams and Enid I leave my two in the car if I'm making a quick dash to a shop, and I hate taking them out of the car and into a petrol station. Personally I feel they are less safe when they are with me - they tend to run around so much, and the youngest gets confused about where the cars go and what is 'pavement'. When cars are pulling up and speeding away from the pumps, I'd rather my children were in my car.

aloha · 03/07/2003 17:58

The children were sweating. The dad was nowhere about, it wasn't the kind of care with aircon, belive me. This is Peckham, you know!

aloha · 03/07/2003 17:59

The children were sweating. The dad was nowhere about, it wasn't the kind of care with aircon, belive me. This is Peckham, you know!

aloha · 03/07/2003 17:59

There were no car seats either.

SoupDragon · 03/07/2003 18:15

Aloha, I think you were right. I may not have been brave enough to call the police myself though

pie · 03/07/2003 18:37

But surely tigermoth, if there had been air conditioning on the Dad would have had to leave the key in the ignition and presumable the doors open? That doesn't sound too good either.

I think that running into a shop where you can still see the car is one thing. But in a situation like aloha's where it was over a certain time and no parent was insight then either finding the parent or calling the police is probably the safer option.

Read some of this , the mind boggles...

pie · 03/07/2003 18:38

By doors opened I mean unlocked btw!!

SoupDragon · 03/07/2003 19:06

How the can you forget your child is in the back of your van?? And what was he doing in the back and not strapped into a car seat anyeay?!

Jimjams · 03/07/2003 20:19

Wasn't really casting judgement on that particular situation aloha- was just pointing out that i do leave my 2 in the car sometimes becuase I have no other choice. And in that situation I'd be annoyed if someone called the police. Honestly ds1 is safer in the car then headbanging the concrete floor of a shop because I'm asking him to queue. Of course I wouldn't leave him to go to several streets away.

Oakmaiden - ds1 loves the car- it's his security in a strange place. When we were camping he kept going off and sitting in the car by himself - there were too many strange people outside. He also discovered inside lights I didn't know we had, and had great fun with the hazard lights. Because there weren't any double shopping trolleys in France, quite a few supermarket trips ended up with me and ds2 in the shop amd ds1 and dh in the car.

Original poster

ConcernedMum · 03/07/2003 22:24

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

judetheobscure · 04/07/2003 00:02

A friend of mine who had just returned to work from maternity leave forgot to collect her 6 month old baby from the childminder's on the way home. (Necessitated 50 mile round journey to go back and get her) I suppose it's a short step from there to forgetting you've got the child in the car especially if there's a change to routine.

Tinker · 04/07/2003 00:08

I saw a baby in a car alone outside Mothercare. Went into the shop to report it and discovered that the mother, who was at the till, worked at my office! Slightly awkward

SofiaAmes · 04/07/2003 07:06

I would never leave either of my children (9 mo., 2.5 yr) alone in a car where I couldn't see them. If I need a last minute bit of bread/milk, I will only stop at a petrol station where I can park in the forecourt and still see the children when I run in.
I even think twice about leaving my stepchildren who are 9 and 10 alone in a car. I would only do so for a very short period of time and in a very public place like a car park. I really don't think it's any different than leaving them alone in a house. I wouldn't leave my babies alone in my house to run to the corner store for milk. I would leave a 9 and 10 year old alone in my house to run to the corner store for 3 min., but I woudn't leave them alone at home while I did a 1 hour grocery shopping.

tigermoth · 04/07/2003 07:34

Good on you for phoning the NSPCC, concernedmum.

Pie, I don't mean leaving on the air con on in the parked car - to do that you'd have to keep the engine on and as you say, it would be dangerous to leave the keys in the ingintion with the engine ticking over.

But if the air con had been on just before the engine was stopped, the interior might have been cool. In this case, opening the windows of the parked car would have been counterproductive because all you'd be doing is letting the cool air out.

Aloha, I see the scenario you were faced with was more serious than children being left for a minute or two. And if you could see them sweating inside that's horrible.

For those, like me, who sometimes leave children in a parked car for a minute or two - please can I say do take out the cigarette lighter accessory. I forgot to do this, and my oldest son, when he was age 6 fiddled with it and got a very nasty burn on his finger.

eefs · 04/07/2003 09:49

i feel sick after reading that article Pie, the poor boy, what he must have gone through

Gracie · 05/07/2003 15:42

Tigermoth, leaving a car with the windows up turns it into a greenhouse (i.e. furnace) within minutes on a hot day irrespective of what the temperature was when it started. Try it sometime. If for any reason children do need to be left inside a car for anything more than 2 minutes, it is imperative to leave the windows down as much as possible.

tigermoth · 05/07/2003 15:54

Of course it would get hot quickly Gracie, but speaking as someone who freqently uses air con in the car, I do know that initially it would be cooler to keep the windows closed.

If Aloha had just seen this for a split second there hangs the possiblity that the car had only just stopped. As it happened she waited, so she and saw that the children were sweating inside so yes, could say without any doubt that the car was hot.

Mummysurfer · 05/07/2003 17:22

Well done concernedmum!

It's not an easy thing to do, but it may have been vital!
You did the right thing.

aloha · 05/07/2003 21:05

Jimjams, funnily enough my son adores the car too. He asks to go to 'mama's beep-beep' and will happily endure three hours in car as long as we keep the music tape on and his dummy in. We had him in there for five hours once due to hideous tailbacks on the motorway, and he was so incredibly good. Like your son I think he finds it relaxing and comforting.

Demented · 06/07/2003 12:00

Haven't had time to read all the messages but my DH was telling me a few weeks ago that he passed a car (fairly new VW Golf) in our town centre and there was a baby (perhaps 18 months) in the back strapped into a car seat, no parent in sight and a traffic warden standing by the car. My DH had some business to attend to in the town which took about an hour and when he returned he passed the same car again and a woman was returning to the car only to be arrested by the Police who by this time were waiting for her and she and the child were bundled into the Police car.

I was rather shocked at this story but like others I do leave my children in the car when paying for fuel.

lisalisa · 07/07/2003 14:14

Message withdrawn

SofiaAmes · 07/07/2003 23:31

lisalisa, I don't think anyone here would think that you had done anything wrong or unsafe in the situation that you describe. The situations that ConcernedMum and various others have described involve small children being left in cars for long periods of time with the parents no where near the cars and clearly unaware of the dangers they were putting their child in. Please continue to be a "critic," because children shouldn't be left alone in cars for extended periods and caring mothers like you need to keep an eye out for the children of uncaring parents like the one that Demented describes.