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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 year old. Removal of dummy

33 replies

CJanaway · 29/03/2010 21:19

Hello,
It's day 6 of operation remove dummy and night sleep times are just a nightmare.
My 25 month old only ever used her dummy for sleeping and more recently only for nightime sleeping in her bed and not for day time sleeping (different story but she now sleeps on the sofa during the day for an hour) so we decided to take the plunge.
The dummy was put into a bag for the dummy fairy to take to her new cousin and when we returned from a shopping trip later that day she had been given a new toy. Worked fine until the night came but all in all the first 2 nights were OK. Night 3 we introduced stickers for going to bed and no crying. This seemed to work OK but now days 5 onwards she isn't settling to sleep until around 9pm and waking up around 5am.
She always had a blankie so nothing has changed there but I'm starting to think this is just too stressful for her and maybe we should consider changing back to the dummy and let her decide when enough is enough.

I'd appreciate any support if possible as it seems most people only have a few nights of unrest but this seems a little too much.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HSMM · 29/03/2010 21:42

Don't go back to the dummy, because it will be even harder to take away next time. You will all get through this.

Irons · 29/03/2010 21:48

I wouldn't go back to giving her the dummy. Otherwise you have just put her through all this for nothing!

I'd say stick with it. If you give in now then the next time you try it may be even harder because she'll be waiting for you to give in again.

If the dummies are gone, then they are gone. Remind her that the fairies have taken them and try to just keep giving her lots of positive encouragement and support. Try to focus her mind on something else, like what she has to look forward to the next day.

Sorry, hope that helps. Good luck.

Original poster

CJanaway · 30/03/2010 13:07

Thanks so much. Last night has to have been the hardest so far but I'll give small goals for me which should prevent going out and buying more dummies.

I just hate the thought of putting her through this...maybe I was too early in doing so but she seemed so keen to do it so I couldn't say no when I initiated it all.

Anyway will stick with it in the hope by the end of the week she will be fine with going to bed again.

OP posts:

whoopstheregoesmymerkin · 30/03/2010 13:15

I am going to put my head above the parapet and ask why is it important to you that she doesn't have it at night?
My 4.5 ds has one at night, invariably it's only to fall asleep with, it falls out and he doesn't look for it. He is really embarassed if we talk about it while his friends and older cousins are around, it's like his little secret. He doesn't have a special teddy or suck his thumb and I view it in the same sort of way. just a private comforter.
I had lots of angst thinking oh no he should get rid of it but then thought why? He only has it at night, his teeth are fine, his speech is great it's not doing anyone any harm. He has friends who have blankies and suck their thumbs which in the long run is not a good thing imo.
I think life's hardenough without taking this private comfort off him. But hey that's just me. Mind you if he still has it at 16 we might have to have words...

Original poster

CJanaway · 30/03/2010 13:30

Pressure from family to be honest....I know I should have listened to myself here and wish I'd left things alone now but here I am unfortunately

OP posts:

Irons · 30/03/2010 15:38

I'm sure you'll be grateful once it's all over. I know what you mean about pressure. My DH complains if he sees our DD with one in her mouth and she is only 9 months old.

I'm not bothered by it. I had one until I was around 3 or 4 - didn't harm me

Anyway, good luck and keep going. Like I said you won't regret it once it's all over.

CoteDAzur · 30/03/2010 15:41

We took DD's dummies away at age 2, as well. This was following a visit to the dentist who showed me clearly where her upper jaw was beginning to be deformed from the suction. DD only had her dummies for sleep.

Don't go back to the dummy.

IMoveTheStars · 30/03/2010 15:43

Don't give in now - it'll start to get easier hopefully.

We need to do the dummy fairy - DS is 2.4 and we're sick of the bloody thing, but have just got rid of the bottles (yes yes, I know) but am planning on doing it in the next couple of weeks.

What present did the dummy fairy leave?

Gah, I'm dreading it..

wheresmypaddle · 31/03/2010 13:10

Hows it going CJanaway??

jayjayp · 31/03/2010 13:25

hi dont give in with the dummy throw it away now so you dont have the option of getting it out of the drawer in frustration it is worth it i promise bear with it hum

bondgirl77 · 31/03/2010 13:41

Oh god, I was just about to do the dummy fairy this weekend when I know I'm going to be at home for 5 days straight and can cope with the sleep deprivation. Now I'm dreading it even more! My DS, 2.5, just has his for naps and nighttime sleeps but is really addicted to it. The dummy fairy is going to have to bring a pretty damned good present to get the dummy away. I have ordered a Peppa Pig boxed set of 9 DVDs and am thinking of adding a large emergency vehicle of some kind . Mine has started biting through his so I'm replacing them about every two weeks now and it's just getting ridiculous. So i'm really interested to know how you're getting along!!

Original poster

CJanaway · 01/04/2010 13:21

Hello everyone.
Sorry I've been off the radar on this one. I'm afraid it isn't over but we are a little further along in terms of no crying however when we put her to bed around 7:30 she gets straight up and isn't settling until around 8:30 to 9 continually coming out of her room. Oddly still not asking for it but crying/whimpering nonetheless.
I feel so dreadfully sorry for her and to be honest wish I'd never had started but that's me and my little one not a reflection on any of yours. You may all have a much easier time.
JTGK - we got her a toy hoover as she loves help me around the house with cleaning.....she totally loves it.

I spoke with our healthvisitor today who was always very good with support from breastfeeding onwards (I had a terrible time at the start but she was amazing and supportive of whatever decision you make rather than pressuring to keep going like some my friends had) and we had a great chat which has given me more ideas to try aside of keeping the routine as much the same as possible continuing onwards and the fact if we go back that we will teach her a bad lesson. (some of these were to give stickers for every return to the bed so short goals rather than a sticker in the morning for staying in bed.)

Bondgirl - I'd say go for it, but make sure you are ready and prepared. The box set and vehicle sound a great idea. You will probably be the lucky one with 3/4 nights of unrest. I hope so anyway

The reason I started this thread was no-one else seemed to have issues for so long with removing the dummy. That or they didn't explain the rest of what I am experiencing and I'm being dramatic and should accept that it will take me 1 1/2 hrs to get my daugther to stay in bed at night and she will be awake from 6am in the morning.

OP posts:

SpicedGerkin · 01/04/2010 13:26

We used to have this kind of problem when the clocks changed, are you sure this is all becuase of the dummies? Is it possible that the prolongedness of it may have something to do with the lighter nights and mornings?

Original poster

CJanaway · 01/04/2010 13:38

I did think that at the start. We had put blackout lining on her curtains and we fortunately had one of those baa baa blackout blinds when we travel so put that on for the past 4 nights which totally blocks out the lights and still no joy. I do wonder if the early mornings are because she is doing wee wees and doesn't like it in her nappy but the going to bed I'm not so sure.

OP posts:

SpicedGerkin · 01/04/2010 13:42

TBH Black out blinds made no difference with ours, they worked as in the room let in no light but their slee pattern would be all out of sync for a while after the spring clock change, still to actually but not as much, they are 10,7 and 5 now.

Original poster

CJanaway · 01/04/2010 13:50

Ah I see what you mean.

OK I'll stop worrying then and see what the next week brings.
Thanks

OP posts:

SpicedGerkin · 01/04/2010 14:03

lol I'm amazed you managed to decipher that post!

With skills like that, you'll be fine with working this out!

Original poster

CJanaway · 01/04/2010 14:13

LOL.....it did take me a while.

OP posts:

mslucy · 01/04/2010 20:15

DS1 had a dummy until he was 3 and a half - he was an addict.

he would go beserk if we tried to remove it and slept with about 4 dummies in his bed.

then we took him to the dentist who told him the dummy was making his teeth grow in a funny way.

He gave DS1 some Thomas stickers and made him promise never to use the dummy againn.

He never used it again.

I think a trip to the dentist may be in order.

Original poster

CJanaway · 02/04/2010 08:12

Thanks mslucy.......I'm pleased to say that last night was amazing as my little one is also.
Did the normal bedtime routine (bath, peppa pig and then up to bed for 2 short book reading whilst in bed). Throughout I reminded her of the sticker she will get for staying in bed when the lights went out. Slight whimper but nothing major. THEN...she gave me a kiss (which we hasn't been doing since I took them away), the lights went out, asked for the door to be open (which I always do now since removing them) and only once did she get out of bed,I put her back in and nothing for the rest of the night.
She even got up at 5:40 this morning and I told her it was still nighttime and put her back in and I didn't hear from her until 7:15.

Now of course I don't know if she actually slept any more than previous nights (she does look a lot rested though) but I hope this is the corner we have been waiting for and it can only get a little better for her own sake.

Honestly I was going to go and buy more today if last night wasn't improved but maybe the talks here and with my healthvisitor were the 'pep talk' I needed to keep things consistent even though she didn't like it.

Always the cynic though it has only been 1 night so I know I shouldn't get ahead of myself BUT a good nights sleep has certainly put me in good spirits to tell you all the news.

OP posts:

SpicedGerkin · 02/04/2010 09:55

YAY, Good for her, and you. x

I bet she did get more sleep, littlies don't have a habit of just lying their quietly awake for that long.

mumatheart · 15/08/2010 22:13

Hi,
I did it this year using the dummy fairy technique, but I bought this "kit" from a company called The Dummy Fairy Workshop which really made the whole thing fun. My little boy had about 15 dummies (yikes), but he gave them up in ONE night!!!!
I'm sure you'll find them if you google them.

nummymummy · 24/11/2011 21:10

My 25 month old is currently having hysterics for 10th night without the dummy. How much longer do we all have to go through this torture??? Husband is dealing with the screaming beast that used to go to bed so happily. I'm drinking wine and eying up the bag of dummies.
Help.

highriggs · 24/11/2011 21:48

I would say just give the dummy. Why do something that upsets them so much . My dd had here until she was about 4 . Only at night from when she was about 2 and 1/2 . Her teeth are fine . She really needed her dummies , had a good few just in case . It's just a comfort that some children need and nothing to stress about . Sometimes her younger brother used to come to me and she just needs her dummy now . It's really not something to stop if they really need it . She is my middle child from 3 and the others didn't want dummies but for her it was really important . Couldn't bear to have her so upset for something so small. Sometimes just a little suck made her feel better. She was BF until she was 11 months and weaned herself .
She is now 27 and no longer has her dummy and we have a laugh about her doddies as we called it. I am not sure that to take away something which gives such great comfort for no gain is such a good idea

nummymummy · 26/11/2011 21:24

Tonight is the first night in nearly 2 weeks that I have managed to get dd2 to bed in less than 1 hour since the dummy removal. Am so sleep deprived, it's a reminder of the newborn days. She is still waking up at 5am. But at least is sleeping through ish and no longer screaming her head off in the night.

We started this because she had a rash on her chin and felt it would be a good time to crack it. Guilty secret is that dd1 still has hers at night at 4 and a half, needs at least 3 in the bed and is seriously addicted. And her teeth are, unfortunately, starting to stick out, hence our urge to be rid of them for dd2 before damage done. But now we're going through this hell with dd2 I can see why we've let her keep them so long...

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