Toddler Taming By Dr Christopher Green - Anyone read it?

[SilveryMoon]

This book was leant to me. Has anyone read it? has it helped? What are your thoughts on it?
TIA

my favourite parenting book.

Dr Christopher Green gives really good sensible advice delivered with a sense of humour.

That's what I was told.
I started reading it but maybe i was in too foul a mood because I kind of felt like it was telling me my toddlers 'bad' behaviour and tantrums are my fault.
I give ds1 as much attention as life allows me too when not mning, but this book was saying that if he had enough grade A attention........and if he was properly praised for good behaviour.........did I take it in the wrong light then? Should I give it another go?

Yeah, give it another go.

I didn't get that it was saying that bad behaviour was my fault. I liked the tips for dealing with horribleness. Such as not hanging on to a door handle when the toddler's hanging on to the other side! The number of times I did that until the book reasonably pointed out that then you are engaging in a fun battle instead of pointing out who is boss.

I love it too. I think he is trying to say that its not your fault but is in fact normal toddler behaviour. He says that if you give them attention for 24hrs/day they will still demand more (I was so relieved to read this as was at a total loss as to how to satisfy DS needs for so much attention).

Mine are now at school and most of what he has said has been true (they did grow out of it). I am now reading his next one (keeping 5-12 yos on the rails).

I gave the book back. It was leant to me by an outreach worker who runs a toddler group at our local childrens centre.
I thanked her for lending it to me, but told her I got the feeling it was saying it was my fault and I didn't think it'd help .
She said she'd read it properly and get back to me after easter.
She said it's focus is that to change toddler behaviour, we have to change how we deal with the tantrums etc and bad behaviour which is fine.
She told me my ds1 will copy my behaviour, all of which I am aware of.
I know there are no magic answers, but will it5 tell me how I can reasonably deal with him throwing himself on the floor, without really shouting at him or how to deal with him pushing other children without rewarding him with attention? iyswim

I liked him too.

The tip I particularly found useful was to bundle them out regardless of the weather because a change of scene and some fresh air would often change moods, too. Sometimes this does not seem appealing: going out in rain, but it does help.

I read it.

abride I have done that as distraction a few times. We get to the park or down the road and he flings himself around saying he doesn't want to walk, he doesn't want to go on buggy board (Hhe is 2.7 and double pushchair recently broke), he doesn't want to go to the park, he doesn't want his coat on, anything! It's crazy

fab what did you think of it?

I found this approach FAR more useful. This is the website and the incredible years book is available from amazon (and other usual bookshops )

BTW this programme is the one taught to most professionals when trained to run parenting groups

The incredible years

Thanks dobby will have a look

I dipped into it and liked it.
The lady at the library recommended the DVD - said it was really funny; lots of naughty toddlers. I never got round to getting it out though.

There's a dvd? Ok, will pop to our library and see if they have it....

dobby That website looks really good. Thank you

yes, i liked it as it was funny!

bit i did not like was the tieing the door shut.

but

getting out the house when things starting to go awry is good idea in it.

oh and i repeat it is funny in places, so when you turn to it at your wits end you can get advice and laugh at the same time and that helped me a lot.

oh also not keen on the bit about letting grandparents set different rules / expectations / rewards than you would set, so basically if they want to jump up and down on the furniture, eat nothing but icecream, then its ok as long as its in their house.

I have a late 90s edition, in which, whilst he doesn't actually advocate smacking, certainly doesn't condemn parents who occasionally smack their offspring.

I think the potty training advice is sensible .

What's wrong with that messymissy, children have to learn different rules for different places. Always left it up to my mum what rules she set for my dcs when she looked after them.
I found it a book full of common sense and worth it just for the laugh.

I read it and generally liked it. I thought there were some interesting pointers, even if a lot of them are just common sense. I liked the bit where he talks about you needing to have reasonable expectations (for example, if you hang around for ages chatting on your way out of a house/office/wherever, a toddler is going to get fractious because they'll be bored). Obviously you have to balance that with your needs but it is good advice. We do often find ourselves in difficult situations with DD where we realise that we haven't thought through the fact that she will be tired/bored/confused etc.

Not convinced about stuff like the 'rope trick', but it's an easy enough book to dip in to and take what you like.

I liked it - it seemed like a quite sensible down=to-earth book.
It was good for making dh realise that our insane children are in fact quite normal.

I found it a bit patronising and waffly myself

As I recall, I found bits of it helpful. I liked his Don't Worry approach to eating (ie, they can have a very limited diet as a toddler but still be getting adequate nutrition).

I used it for < whisper > Controlled Crying

I don't see it as blaming parents, just saying that some reactions to normal toddler behaviour can reinforce the behaviour.

I found a book called "Tantrums" - last Straw Strategies by Michelle Kennedy

The Best Friends Guide to Toddlers, and

Tanya Byron's books/TV stuff useful as well.

I read it and liked it too. Like scattyspice I thought what he was trying to say is don't worry, they are just being normal toddlers, and what I took from the giving them attention advice was that a lot of the time, when they are playing up, what they actually need is a bit of one-on-one attention from you for 10/15 minutes like reading a book etc, then you distract them and set them off on another task whilst you get on with your day. I thought it was really good sensible advice.

Thanks for all your replies.
TheLemur I think that's the word I've been looking for but couldn't put my finger on. Patronising.
I have given the book back to the lady who leant it to me, she is going to read it herself over easter, so I might ask for it back and have another go,

It is a bit patronising, but not as bad as a book I bought about tantrums (DS1 used to have full-on jaw-dropping theatrical tantrums at least twice a day), where the author simpleringly said in the intro. that none of her 3 DDs had had tantrums and it was pretty much down to her excellent parenting ..... THAT one went in the bin