Fab
I am a fan of yours- I hope you know that.
But I think at some stage you have got to make a couple of decisions.
You have to stop endlessly blaming yourself and being negative.
I know that it is honest of you but tbh it becomes self defeating.
I have read so many of your threads and you say ...'I am so crap, I can't do this...etc etc' on almost every thread.
It becomes a means by which you unintentionally set yourself up to fail.
I have very very poor organisational skills and i used to miss things a lot, things to do with the children. Every time DD missed a dress up day or a party because I forgot to put it on the calendar I would be truly angry with myself and say 'I am sorry DD, I am just so useless'.
Eventually I relised I was using 'I am so crap at organizing thing' with parents at school, with the DCs and I realised one day that actually , rather than being honest, I was just letting myself off the hook.
The truth is that growing up in a chaotic home, having DS2 with the huge responsibilities and time constraints that that creates etc are the reasons why I find it hard. But there is really no reason why I can't improve it.
I have gradually. And I have stopped using 'I'm so crap' as an excuse.
Of course you have special circumstances but many of us do. And I think tbh just saying 'its too hard, I am crap' creates a mindset that traps us. We can shrug our shoulders and start each day saying to ourselves that we will try our best but saying also that actually we will probably fail because we are really rubbish at this and we are too busy and our children are going to play up and make it hard.
When we do that we make it fail before we even start.
Also , when you criticise yourself, when you take everything that people say as an unfair criticism of you , it stops you hearing the genuine and good advice and support they are trying to offer.
I know you get people who say harsh things but in truth I think they are fairly easy to ignore. I think this thread is an example of that. You got some good advice but became entangled in arguing with those you felt were attacking you.
Have you thought about the advice you got on here - the suggestions that you try to disengage when you are feeling provoked,pretending to be the nanny (great idea) and also trying to accept their behaviour as testing you rather than just being mean. And also Jeremys interesting point about your assuming everyone else got the parenting manual ?
Did any of that feel helpful?How are things today?