15 month old not pointing or waving...

[CMYK]

15 month old dd is not pointing or waving. I have read that pointing is a key development milestone so am getting increasingly concerned. Should I be worried?

She doesn't wave either but can clap. She doesn't say any clear words yet but babbles alot. She says dada and mmmmmmm but not to the specific parent. No other words than this.

In other ways she is affectionate coming up to me for a cuddle, responds to her name, enjoys being with other babies.

Its the pointin, waving and no words that really worry me... any advice would be welcome. I seem to be working myself up in to a ball of stress... the more I read the more I see that she should be doing all this by now.

My ds was like this at the same age, can't remember if he could wave but didn't point. I suddenly remembered that he should be pointing and spent a frantic week pointing at everything in sight. He did pick it up shortly after (and was probably slightly bemused by mad pointing mummy).

He also had a few other things that worried me and in the back of my mind I was thinking ASD. He is 3.5 now and afaik has no problems. I would keep an eye on it, try pointing things out to her. If you are really worried and she still isn't doing it by 18 months maybe see a HV, won't do any harm .

Thanks sing for joy. Anybody else? Anybody in a similar situation? I am getting to worried so please help...

Lack of a point in order to share interest can be an early sign of autism BUT it has to also be linked to a lack of desire or need to communicate. Many kids aren't talking at 15 months, but most will be making their wishes known in other ways, non verbally. The point about an autistic kid is that they are in their own little world, and never feel the need to share any attention, or often even look at, anyone else. My boy is autistic and certainly never responded to his name at this age. How is her eye contact?

Sick of experts - she makes good eye contact and often if shes playing and I catch her eye I will smile at her and she will smile back. And she does make her wishes known - she will bring me her sippy cup if she wants water (I need to open the spout for her). She knows what gets my attention and I can see she does these things deliberately when she wants my attention.

Starlight - yes she does make eyes at strangers to get their attention. I don;t have any other concerns really apart from not speaking any words.

So I guess you're saying that just pointing and waving on its own isn't too much of a concern?

It sounds ok to me, especially when you say that she plays happily by herself and then smiles at you. At this age, my boy's idea of "play" was to endlessly flood the bathroom sink or line up toys in a row. Also, you can teach kids to point you know: wait till you know she is looking at something, eg if you buy a new flashing toy, then do a really obvious point at it and say "look". Since she is already looking at it, she'll soon work out what a point means. Then make her finger into a little point, and do the same thing with her pointing something exciting out to you - eg a helicopter in sky or fire engine.

I remember when a Health Visitor first came to see my boy, aged just under 2, and he did not look at her once in the whole visit, despite the fact that she was a new person in the room and was trying to engage with him. It's the separateness that is the thing.

Also, in your water cup scenario, my boy would have dragged my hand to the cup and then to the tap - he wouldn't have made the leap that if he brings me the cup, I'd do the rest.

Oh my lovely little DS2 is 18 months and didn't point either - up until a month ago. He now points at everything while babbling a story along with it. His word count was less than 10 up until same point and its increasing rapidly.

His one year check was held when he was 16 months and at that point he was only achieving what he would have failed had it been done at the correct time, iyswim.

Her focus at his check up was his confidence, how he engaged with me and his general weel-being, which from your OP sounds perfectly fine to me.

Thanks to all of you - it is reassuring to hear from you. I guess you can't help worrying (especially since I am a worrier) when EVERY milestone chart/article you read emphsises pointing is so important and the lack of it is a red flag. I think I will leave it a couple of months and see if she starts.

Sick of experts - I will try teaching her. Thanks for the tips. (I can just see myself spending the next 2 weeks pointing at everything in sight! )

Please do not worry too much. I would wait until 18 months and then if not happening speak to HV or GP. DD started to point at things in books at 2 years and at things in the environment at 3 years so was very very late to point. Even now she is not a great pointer more she will make eye contact with me if she sees something interesting. She was diagnosed with ASD at 3 and a half. She DID communicate in other ways would bring things to show me and she has excellent eye contact and holds appropriate eye contact with strange people out in the environment. I am not meaning to scare you or imply your DD has some sort of ASD. But what I would say is you need to go with your gut instincts. Do you feel your DD is different to other toddlers. I had concerns at 20 months had a speech referral at 23 months but was told all is fine. Two different health visitors who seen my DD a year apart felt there were no issues but obviously this did not turn out to be the case. If you feel deep down there may be a problem seek advice soon. If you feel all is going well apart from pointing and clapping do not stress to much.

Evei - thanks for your post. If I were to ask myself the question of whether I think my dd is fine - deep down to be honest I do think she's fine. But then again I don't really trust my instincts . You don't have to answer if you don't want to but did you suspect something about your dd? Or did you feel she was fine? When did you feel she wasn't fine?

My dd doesn't stand out amongst other toddlers (except that she is tiny) but otherwise she holds her own, and seems no different in any way.

Other things that have concerned me was she used to lie on the floor and spin but has completely stopped doing that. And she does flap her hands when excited - but even this is becoming much less. Other than this and the pointing and lack of words, she seems fine. She is affectionate, she is naughty, she plays well with me, by herself and other kids her age. She is walking she makes her needs known and really had i not read anything I wouldn't dream that there was anything wrong with her.

I think you have to go with your instinct for now, because your DD is not really delayed yet. I think 18m is when you should be concerned by lack of pointing and even then it does not necessarily mean there's something wrong.

FWIW DD is almost 14m and will VERY occasionally point to something in a book and she will indicate sometimes with her whole arm stretched towards something she wants or where she wants to go, but it's not all the time and v.rarely she does it with a pointed finger. I did notice though that I wasn't really pointing to anything myself and when I started doing that I could see a difference in her.

Also bear in mind that kids often start doing things sudenly- she might be pointing in a week's time.

If you feel you have good contact with her and that she engages herself with her enviroment, then I wouldn't worry.

*environment

CMYK - My DD seemed to change at about 15 months she stopped enjoying toddler groups and became increasingly fussy with food. From about 20 months the penny finally dropped but even then HV and Speech Therapist did not seem to see the problem. The main reason I felt there was a problem with DD was because when we were out and about she just did not seem to connect. For example if we went on a day out to a farm etc.. she just did not seem to be connecting with the environment she was there in body but not mind. She did not seem in the slightest bit interested when I pointed out the animals to her! Even with my DD we do not know where she sits on the ASD spectrum and are hoping she is just quite mildly affected as her main problems at the moment seems to be her language which is quite disordered. Once again I feel I must say that you need to go with your instincts and you seem to be happy mostly with your DD so enjoy her!

CMK my DD only started pointing a couple of weeks ago (shes 15 months too) and also says only dada and misc babbling. Also very sociable and communicative in other ways so i would try not to worry if i were you. easier said than done mind! i have moments where i convince myself she will never walk...

Hi, ive just started worrying a little about my DS who is 14 months old and have come on here to see if there was any info so im glad i found this thread. My DS doesnt point either and he doesnt clap, he didnt wave until yesterday but still doesnt do it on command which is fair enough. He also doesnt really baby babble, hes vocal and shouts or shows happiness or excitment but doesnt say dada or mama, he did twice but he stopped after about a week. Also my litle boy doesnt walk, which so far hasnt bothered me as i was 18 months before i walked, but he wont even stand up. He doesnt show me or let me know what he wants but then ive always given him his food and drink in routine and put him down for a sleep when i see the usual signs. Hes also recetly started head banging and this has worried me as he does it hard enough to hurt me so it must hurt him. does anyone think that this might just be his teeth hurting him? I have read that boys tend to do it more than girls. Other than all that hes a lovely and happy little boy who seems to learn other things quickly, like i ask him for a kiss and he gives me one and if i ask for him dummy he puts it im my mouth, he caught on straight away with both of them. hes social with other people and babies and has good eye contact. i am worried but i think a lot of it stems from all the other kids his age at nursery toddling around and being more advanced than my little boy.
suz xx

You need to read Stanley Greenspan. He expects non-verbal complex communication of this kind by 18 months, and definitely by 2 years. He suggests that health visitors should ask "how does s/he tell you what s/he wants?" at the 2 year check, and the "correct" answer would include any kind of variation like dragging mother to fridge and grunting (when wanting drink), not just pointing.

By the way, the authoritative Hanen books advise against deliberately teaching your child to point until he/she can also shift his/her gaze from you to someone else. But I don't know why (sorry).

Eek, is that right lingle? Is that in ITTTT? (Must go look it up).

I am a bit worried about DS (15 months) who is not pointing and has no words yet. DD (3.6) didn't point until 17.5 months and had no words until after 18 months, but this doesn't entirely reassure me as it turned out she has receptive and expressive language delay (improving but not yet resolved and there are knock-on issues). Wondering what to do for the best with DS. Have been trying to teach him stuff and he is remarkably good at imitating, but not convinced he is getting the meaning of it all. So perhaps this means I shouldn't try to "teach" pointing?

Oh, sorry for waffle.

ItNeverRains.

I'm pretty sure it is in More than Words.

Did you know that you can email Hanen with questions like this - they are pretty good at getting back to you. I just emailed whatever email was on their website and a SALT emailed me back.

I didn't know you could email Hanen - that is brilliant! thank you, v useful to know.

hi cmyk,

I have a son who has just turned 15 months,even he does not seem interested in waving or talking.if he needs water he just brings me his bottle if he wants to go out he stands near the door and grunts ,he babbles when he is in the moodbut when i try to talk to him he just ignores me.so has yoour daughter started talkingg ...when was it,please tel us abt her development

Hi there,
my son is also 15m and does not talk in words(but babbles in baby language all the time), nor does he wave or point. He makes eye contact and laughs, interacts a lot with others, adult and children, etc, so I suppose I should not worry too much. I do feel a little worried though.

My son is 19 months and I'm not sure he particularly points, although he does wave and clap. I'd never heard of any particular emphasis on pointing. As for talking, a couple of months ago he had no recognisable words, although he did have a couple of sounds where we knew what he meant. He now has five or six words, although still doesn't really say mama or dada at all. (Regretably one of his words is poo!) I have two other children and only the eldest went through a pointing stage. The second didn't have any words until about 18 months, but he's now one of the most able in his class. Children all do things at different stages and some will skip stages all together. As long as they're communicating in some way (babbling, talking, gestures, smiling etc.) I don't think it matters too much how they do it.

Hello,

I would just like to point out that my 16mnth old son has only recently started to wave say bye, hi and many more short words such as car, shoes, bus, the colour green and other little things like go to the cupboard by himself if I ask him if he would like a snack. he points to photographs if I ask him to show me were his older brother is. I could ask him if he would like to have a bath and go to bed and he clearly understands the question and replys accordingly to how he feels. This has happened in the past four weeks and it is a joy to watch him learn. So i am sure it will happen just as quickly for you LOs, as only four weeks ago there was little communication from him. I understand the worry but every baby develops at their own pace, and it can seem like overnight they turn into loving intelligent little so and so's.

I realise that no one has posted on this thread for 8years, but I'm currently in the same situation with my 16mth old son. I'm worrying myself sick, I was wondering if there any updates on your daughter CMYK? Or your son - the dudesmummy? Long shot getting a response I know, but I thought worth a shot. My son, responds to his name when he's not too engrossed in playing, has great eye contact, is sociable, loves cuddles, reaches for most things, but does not point, wave or clap. I have randomly see him clap at play groups a couple of times but it's very infrequent and never on demand. I point and wave at pretty much everything but he just looks blankly and a bit confused. Very worried