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Original poster

Dd keeps saying 'Pardon?' Habit/attention or bad hearing?

30 replies

Moomin · 18/07/2005 16:01

I am thinking of taking dd (3y 10m) to the doc's or the HV because she keeps saying 'pardon?' when dh and I speak to her. I taught her to say it instead of 'huh' or 'what' and she definitely likes the idea of saying it because we praised her so much when we didn't have to remind her.
However, I think she's saying it too much now and I want to get her ears checked out. Dh is more of the opinion she likes watching us repeat ourselves and we've tried saying 'what did you think we said' - sometimes she admits she knows, others she doesn't.

I know it sounds blatently obvious that we take her to have her ears checked and we will this week, but I just wondered if anyone else has had this with their kids? Will also ask nursery today when I pick her up if they've noticed anything.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 18/07/2005 16:02

whisper "would you like a biscuit" behind her and see if she responds.

SoupDragon · 18/07/2005 16:03

I'm sure DSs do/did this btw but the whisper trick assured me that their hearing was Ok.

Roobie · 18/07/2005 16:06

My dd (3y 2m) is currently going through a phase of saying "what?" every time we say something to her (we are now having some success in getting her to say "pardon" instead!). Anyway, I wondered about her hearing as well although I am pretty convinced it is fine - I have started just ignoring her and am finding that she eventually answers the original question or responds to the original comment.

Original poster
Moomin · 18/07/2005 16:10

LOL at biscuit ploy. Will try this tonight. Also will attempt to do a bit of ignoring and see what happens. Thanks x

OP posts:
Easy · 18/07/2005 16:17

Moomin,

Try playing with her with your watch or a small clock. About 18 months ago I discovered that ds was quite profoundly deaf in his left ear, because he couldn't hear my watch on that side, nor our mantle clock. So it's worth checking.

BTW, in good English it is actually more correct to say "what" if you don't hear someone, than "Pardon" (which is used to excuse one's self for an indiscretion such as burping). However, like you, most people seem to have forgotten this is the case. I gave up trying to go down the correct route, after ds's headteacher gave him a real telling off for pointing this out. Poor lamb, he's only 5.

Original poster
Moomin · 18/07/2005 16:22

!

OP posts:
Easy · 18/07/2005 16:28

Don't mean to offend, just pointing out a fact.

kcemum · 18/07/2005 16:35

Is she showing any other signs of deafness? i.e Needing the telly turning up or tapes turning up? Does she go to nursey? Have they noticed anything/

The whispering behind about a biscuit is not a foolproof way of telling whether she is putting it on. My DD had a mild/moderate hearing loss but can still hear whispers.

GeorginaA · 18/07/2005 16:56

Funnily enough, my ds1 (4y 2mths) went through a similar phase recently - and just after we'd taught him to say pardon instead of huh or what! Still slips into it now carefully, but we came to the conclusion that it was listening laziness rather than any real problem with his hearing.

I hate to make you feel depressed. But we just stopped the "pardon" phase when we got the "why" phase...

... buy a pair of earplugs now while you still have your sanity

Tortington · 18/07/2005 17:09

dont whisper biscuit and think its ok ( soz soupy) if you think its a hearing impairment then please get it checked out now - what with referals and waiting lists it could be ages - best to get it sorted before school starts if there is a problem.

as you prolly know my daughter is partially deaf. i actually got absolutley sick to bloody death of her saying "what" or "pardon" or "sorry?" so took her to doctors and presto. the thing is different tones and sounds hit the eardrum differently - so you may indeed whisper "want a biccy?" and she may turn round and go " yes please" whereas with other back ground everyday noise around you may say the same phrase rather than whisper it and the ear will not be able to decipher it becuase of the pitch of the sound - rather than the noisyness of the sound IYSWIM.

Tortington · 18/07/2005 17:13

sorry forgot to add - with time they will develop tecniques to deal with their hearing loss - so lip reading will be a great thing they pick up but - you will never notice. they may look at your surroundings or the time of day and make amazingly correct assumptions - like saying " table please dinners ready" translated into daughter seeing brothers runn for the table - the smell of cooking = tea time - rather than actually hearing the call for tea. and whether you realise it or not your bodily gestures give away much more than you realise - its an old saying of trainers that body language is somethign like 80% of total communication.

Easy · 18/07/2005 17:22

Hear Hear Custy

Ds was probably deaf on his left side for quite some time before we realised it. And it's taken over a year to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for it (altho' in his case can't get the hearing back)

If there is a problem, don't be fobbed off with "oh it's probably just glue-ear". Ours wasn't, and should have had surgery earlier to stop the problem worsening. Just press ffor a proper certain diagnosis.

But there probably isn't a seriouss problem.

Original poster
Moomin · 18/07/2005 19:08

Dh has just got back from work and said he will take her for a referral on Thurs. Thanks for all advice.

OP posts:
kcemum · 21/07/2005 14:08

How did you get on?

Tortington · 21/07/2005 19:31

how was it?

Magscat · 21/07/2005 19:52

My ds is the same - has been for about a year now (he's just gone 4). I'm certain it's not a real hearing problem but he does get blocked ears when he has a cold. THe GP advised us to put olive oil in his ears to loosen the wax & it worked a bit. I've tried the biscuit whisper thing & it works - he can hear fine

I think mainly though it's just habit & laziness. He tends to say 'what?' rather than think about the question - it's as if it buys him more time to come up with an answer. Also I think it's a way of making me & his Dad do something , a way of asserting himself & manipulating us because he knows we can't prove he hasn't heard so if he insists that he hasn't heard for long enough we end up having to repeat ourselves.

Tortington · 21/07/2005 21:07

the biscuit thing is not the right way to go about it - please read my other post. if you suspect your child has a hearing problem please see a professional

coppertop · 21/07/2005 21:17

I agree with Custy about not relying on the whispering about biscuits etc. I have impaired hearing and have problems with higher-pitched sounds - especially female and children's voices. Even ds1 has learned that if he wants me to hear something in particular he needs to whisper it.

Magscat · 23/07/2005 19:57

Thanks Custardo for putting me straight on the biscuit whisper thing & sorry I hadn't read your other post. Are there any other signs to watch out for (apart from child saying 'what?' or 'pardon?') ?

I'm still inclined to think my ds has just developed a lazy habit as he only seems to do it with me & his Dad - i.e. no problems at nursery & he never asks his friends to repeat themselves but maybe there's something else going on that we haven't worked out. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Flossam · 23/07/2005 20:00

Moomin, if it helps I think I have this habit! I am obvioulsy a bit slow and sometimes it takes me a while to desipher what has been said, and rather than just sit and think about it for, say half hour or so I say what? eh? sorry? even though really I have heard it, it's a bit like a stalling mechanism for me, and it drives DP absolutely nuts! So IMO, it's a great habit!

Magscat · 23/07/2005 20:05

Flossam - my dp does exactly that too - just a habit with him but sometimes (when I'm feeling parnaoid)it makes me think 'why does he need to think about his answer, what's he got to hide?'

I probably only react that way though cos I'm more of an 'open gob say 1st thing in head' sort of person !

mandyc66 · 23/07/2005 20:07

its better than 'what' sorry !!!
think they go through this and then the stutter!!!

Tortington · 23/07/2005 22:35

my daughter has trouble pronouncing certain sounds that she hears differently - if you follow me?
sounds like "sh" cant remember the others now as am used to it. when she gets very excited and talks fast sometimes i dont understand her at all - then she gets exasperated and the excitement of telling me something good can quickly turn into door slamming.

fierce temper from a toddler - i realise now its becuase she couldnt make herself understood as well as her bro - but these are only my experiences. i am sure that depending on the type of hearing loss, family situation etc some experiences will be different.

however i do think that speach difficulties will occur with loss of hearing.

PeachyClair · 23/07/2005 22:53

My ds2 has speech problems due to glue ear. it's the soft sounds at the beginning of a word- should would be ould, speech would be peech.. IYKWIM? This was confirmed by speech therapist as very common.

He is hard to understand, even for us, but he bears it so well. One day it will improve (when glue goes), I hope he has learned patience from it, such a gift.

mandyc66 · 24/07/2005 08:36

speech develops at different speeds in all children. some can blend before others. listening is very important because they do get frustrated. my ds used to mime to me if i didnt get it. He had glue ear. he used to say what he thought he heard..he had a lovely song about a swinging ark..wasnt till i heard all the class I realised it was a singing lark!!!!