13 month old standing up in cot all the time. HELP!

[BambinolovesBeccie]

We are at our wits end. DS will not lie down in his cot when we put him to bed. He also wakes frequently during the night and is straight up and crying. It has been taking one of us an hour+ every bedtime to get him to lie down. He stands up, I lie him down, he stands up, I lie him down - eventually he will wear himself out and sleep, but mostly wakes again around 1am then 4am and the same happens - it took us 2 hours to settle him in the middle of last night. After all that, he wakes up to start the day around 5.30am.

He was such a good sleeper during his first year. Slept through from 9 weeks and mostly went down from 7 - 6 which was great. It all started to change in early December when he was teething but he's never settled back - it also coincided with me going back to work so that could be a factor.

We have covered everything: dark room, warm enough, heating on all night so not coming on in early hours, dummy, taking his toys/mobile off the cot so no stimulation. We also tried co-sleeping but he won't lie down with us either - he thinks it's playtime then. I know it's only been 3 months of it and I should be grateful it's not been years, but we are shattered and not sure what to do. Thank you for reading this

actually if he's in a grobag - why go in at all? if he's in a soft-sided cot then he won't be able to hurt himselg.

anyone who is going to term not going in 'cruel' please check your sense of perspective first.

Hi,
I haven't read all the posts just the OP so apologies if this has been covered but wanted to try and ease some suffering if I can...

My ds went through exactly this. From the moment he could learn to stand up in his cot he did. It would take us over an hour to get him to lay down, then he would wake frequently through the night and do the same thing.

I can't offer a reason as to why, only theories. Its like they are on overdrive... their learning to walk so their brains say walk (even if they are tired and should be lying down). Also, my ds was teething at the time (molers) and this started way before any of the obvious teething signs started. Nurofen and calpol helped on some days.

But rest assured it is a phase and soon they grow out of it and start to sleep again. It took a couple of months of extra cuddles and rubbing his back to get him to sleep, but eventually he went back to normal.

hth.

Thanks everyone. We had another interesting night - as in up several times - but it is taking less time to settle him and now around half hour rather than hours so I think we've turned a corner with the change from grobag to quilt.

You know, through all my tiredness, it never occured to me that this started too around the time that DS started nursery. He took to nursery so well, I just never attributed it as a factor and always thought it was teething. What a silly mummy I am .

My DD's did this too, couldn't really work out how to lay themsleves back down on their own.

It was a phase in the end, luckily. Think it went on for a couple of weeks but sorted itself.

you really have my sympathy, it's awful when you don't get enough sleep. just think, ten more years and you can have a full night fwiw i agree with itsa, all 3 of mine would sleep much better if they had had good long naps in the day, i think if not they can get overtired and 'wired' at bedtime, also maybe try putting to bed earlier? my ds2 slept really well if we put him down at 6.15 after that we'd missed the 'window' and he got wired up again. we used to tuck him in and go and have dinner!

My DS did this, I just let him get on with it and ignored as much as pos.

In the end he would be tired and go to sleep.

Maybe he sleeps too much at the day care place??? My DC went from 2 to 1 nap at that age.

DS only slept 40 minutes at nursery the whole of yesterday and was so overtired come bedtime. Took him over an hour to go down then was up again at 9pm - I left him for 2 minutes but he was screaming by then so couldn't do anymore - I guess CC isn't for us. He did eventually go back down at midnight then was up at 6 which is really good. We took him in with us and he slept for another hour.

Admittedly, it wasn't a really bad night last night but have an awful cold and exhausted I even wondered if it would be worth moving his cot (or a travel cot) back into our room, until DH pointed out that I get up at 6 for work so would wake him anyway. Even so, it might help him regularly go through the night again. Has anyone resorted to this? What do you think?

This is an interesting site that has lots of information from all angles.

and here
and Tanya Byron here

and there is always Supernanny!!

used to love her but think she has become a little to judgemental and stroppy since going to America!!

I have 2 children a 2 and a half year old girl and a 13 month old boy.

I find the more tired they are, the worse they sleep at night at 12-18 months. So I find it can become a vicious cycle once they're shattered, as they're highly agitated and full of stress hormones. The disturbed sleep can cause my LO's to be more wakeful, irritable and active in behaviour and then they become far more active in their sleep, as they're so chronically fatigued. So that their motor was always running at a high speed awake or asleep. So I try and ensure both of mine get reasonable naps in the day, I adjust my routines depending on whether they woke early etc. My boy at 13 months naps at 10.30am and 3pm and goes to bed at 6.30pm - 7pm. If he misses naps, he always sleeps worse at night. He is a creature of habit.

He is teething something rotten as well. If he does wake (I notice no one else seems to have mentioned this?) I go in and rub Bonjela Teething Gel (or alternative) into his gums and then leave again. 9 times out of 10 he goes back to sleep after this, I don't have to do it more than once a night and not every night, just when the teething is really bad. When I first began doing this, he wasn't amused as he was hoping for a bottle I suspect but it usually works now. He is now starting to improve again sleep wise thank goodness. If they are teething though, I really do think it cannot hurt to give them some pain relief if they've woken as you're going in there anyway...

With my daughter the Baby Whisperer PUPD method worked a treat, with my son the leaving them for 5 mins and going in picking up until they stop crying, leave again wait 5 mins etc seemed to be far more effective for some reason... To be fair as my children are 17 months apart, he had to manage sometimes bless him, if my hands were full with his sister as well.

They don't have a dummy do they? Or are they just strong willed like my little boy? I have to be absolutely consistent with my boy. My little girl was easy compared to my cheeky chap. I have been known if desperate to give a bottle to soothe back to sleep if really poorly and just retrain them, once they're better, sleep wise.

It's just a phase, it will get better. I agree with most of what MrsPoppins said.

our son did this. He was very tall (dad is 6.6). At 9 months before he could walk he was climbing out of his cot and landing heavily on the floor. We put him in a low bed and weirdly it did the trick. He slept every night with no problems. We made sure the room was very safe with a stairgate at the door. It was heaven to finally sleep again.

Hi BambinolovesBeccie... One year on I am looking at this thread with the same problem as you had - can you tell me how it eventually resolved itself? My DD is 11 months and will not lie down no matter how many times I try...
Thanks