11 month old will only nap if in car or pram and need to get him in cot

[Ellora]

Hi

Am desperate my son from day 1 was pushed in his pram or driven in the car every nap time and now we have reached 11 months and I need to get him in the cot during naps or I will never get anything done ever again! It has been killing me driving everywhere and pushing the pram everywhere and I just cannot do it anymore. He also doesn't seem to settle well there either anymore!

I know this could take weeks to change for him and it has been 5 days so far and I ensure he has his nap time on the dot at 10:00 with him waking at 7:00 he has cried and cried for days now and barely settled at all until a very late nap at lunchtime which I fear is more out of exhaustion.

I am using controlled crying going in there to shush him every 5 then 10 the 20 minutes e.t.c but is this the right way really to get them to nap in the cot. He never has though night times he is wonderful and sleeps straightwaya in cot from 7:00 - 7:00.

I make the room dark, nurse him and but not sure how to change the locality of where a baby sleeps and any advice would be so much appreciated!!

he doesn't need to be in a cot. leave him in the pram. perhaps he doesn't want to have a nap at 10 am, despite what certain celebratty charlatans may have to say o the subject.

agree with Coldtits

is he actually tired?

it is not worth the crying and tbh if he sleeps through the night i wouldn't be changing very much

agree with coldtits & ruby. He could be at an age now where he only needs one nap a day, maybe after lunch.

Perhaps try keeping him busy through the morning, and then giving him lunch a little earlier.

hth

Yes completely understand the thoughts but his timings were working in the car and pram e.g. he was sleeping 7:00 - 7:00 then napping for one hour at 10:00 and then at 3:00. Completely agree with the whole celebrity advisors and never listenend to a word they said just let him dictate his own nap and sleep times from day 1.

So all I thought I was doing was changing the location of the naps as he seemed happy with those times when out and about!

Why do you think they don't need to sleep in a cot during the day? The car obviously is ridiculous because I cannot sit in the car for naps times everyday but the pram versus cot in the house doesn't seem any different to me?

One nap per day I thought didn't happen till 15 months and if he was happy taking 2 last week when he was sleeping when out and about then am hesitant to change too much in one go.

Just wondered how one deals with change for a child at 11 months e.g changing where they nap from ones bed to cot could also have been the issue.

Do you persevere for how long?

Thanks

Thanks for the advice

DS never ever napped in his cot - I would drive somewhere around naptime and he would fall asleep - I'd either sit in the car and read a book for an hour or so, or transfer him to the pushchair and back into the house. Once he was a bit older I was able to transfer him from car to cot/living room floor.

Trying to get him to go to sleep in his cot in the day was just too stressful for both of us, and like a previous poster said, I didn't want to cause any negative associations to his cot as he slept quite well in it at night

My DS is 15m and will only nap in his cot if he has fallen asleep in the car and I gently move him into his cot. Other than that we have to push him round the house in his push chair to get him off to sleep. As long as they sleep in the cot at night I wouldn't stress. :-)

My DS is 9 months and up until very recently he slept on our bed on a sort of mat with raised sides. He has never even tried to get off it but now he is crawling I am sure he could if he thought of it, so for safety reasons I have been trying to get him into his cot.
TBH I have only been able to do this by nursing and cuddling him to sleep before I pop him in, he won't settle himself in there like he does at night. If I put him in asleep he's grand.
I must say I agree with everyone else in your case - if he is happy sleeping in his pushchair and it is feasible to have the pushchair inside (it's not in my case as we live in a 1st floor flat) then why not let him sleep there - I know plenty of older babies who take naps in their pushchairs.
I don't think its worth doing sleep techniques for a day time nap if he will sleep perfectly happily somewhere else.

I would go spare if my 10mo didn't sleep in her cot. If your dd is anything like mine, Ellora, she won't sleep in pushchair unless it's moving, so you never get anything done. If I were you I would persevere with getting her in the cot. We did controlled crying with my dd when she was 3 months- took 24 hours. I know it takes longer when they get older though. My dd has now gone to 1 sleep and seems much happier on it, i thought she was too young too, but if it suits her I'm happy with it.

Sounds like you could do with combining his naps - DS was the same age when he dropped his 10am nap (and it was always 10am on the dot too), and started going down later on, sleeping for 2 hours.

Try an early lunch and sleep at 12:00 - the 2 hour break in the middle of the day is lovely- I find I have an hour to get house stuff done and an hour to myself.

I agree with Ladyintheradiator - my dd's only ever napped in the pushchair or car and I thought she'd never nap without being taken for a walk/drive, but around 11mths we did progress to naps in the pushchair with me just rocking her back and forth for 10 mins or so. I did try to get her to nap in the cot, but like your ds she just screamed and it was obvious it was never going to happen - I'd rather have her asleep in the pushchair than screaming in the cot! I've also had my share of "sitting in a car reading while she naps" afternoons! Also around the 11 mth time she did drop her 10am nap and just wanted one longer one after lunch (how I long for those days, she's now 2.6 and won't nap at all!)
Good luck!

I have to admit that I agree with many of the posters above. I have a 20 month old DD now who can happilly get through the day without napping now and I honestly wonder why I expended so much energy during her first year trying to regulate her naps.

Until 9 or 10 months she napped like clockwork 3 times a day at 9am, 12pm and 3pm. She always slept better in her pushchair so I took advantage of that as my chance to exercise - I didn't force her to nap in the cot as I was happy to walk (I lost a good amount of weight!). I was out 3 hours a day when I totalled it up.

She always slept at night in her cot with few problems.

Then from 10 or 11 months she dropped a nap and her naps became more unpredictable. She simply didn't need to nap as much. You have to accept that.

I wouldn't stress - soon your child won't be napping at all. You simply have to get used to getting things done whilst your LO is awake.

hi. I did say earlier - it doesn't matter.

my dd is 2.5, if she's in the car around lunchtime, she will almost certainly have a sleep if she's had a busy morning. absolutely no chance she'd go to sleep in her bed during the day, and gets through to bedtime fine without it.

your child no longer being lulled to sleep so therefore doesn't want to nap as early as 10am.

best advice as given here, is to work towards one longer nap, either after lunch. or a substantial morning snack and lunch on waking.

it's a big adjustment when they start substantially cutting back on day time sleep!

Sorry if I have missed this fact but does he sleep at night in his cot?

Yep..re re read and re read again and saw it plain as day!
ok...so he sleeps fine at night..That's great! He obviously has no problems with going in his cot then and has no bad associations with it.

Try leaving out the nap in the morning, giving lunch early ish and heading off about 1 sh for a nap in the cot after fed and changed and having been cuddled.

Lots of babies don't follow perfect patterns of sleep so don't worry too much what you think he should do.

Controlled crying..do 5 then 10 then 15 mins and then go back to 5.
Don't speak to him or have eye contact, very very almost inaudible sshhh will do.

I understand the need for a sleep in a cot versus buggy and car unless you just happen to be out. There could be future problems if the buggy becomes what he wants all the time so you are justified in wanting to sort this out.

Try the same thing for 2 weeks. Don't alter what you actually do...the times you do it may change purely because he seems tireder one day than another...we have to be flexible about such things but the general sleeping in a cot is where you'll have your nap theme, stick to.

We all have different ways of doing stuff...take all the bits that work and discard the rest!![smail]

[smail] ?? {smile]

Oh good grief!

My DS started having only an afternoon nap at about 12 months.

It sounds like he's not tired enough for a morning nap.

Controlled crying always provokes strong thoughts as there are advocates for it and those who think it is child abuse! I have used it successfully for 16 years and so know that it can work in a little time and know also that the children are not in any way damaged by the experience.

We would not think twice about allowing a toddler to cry if he wasn't getting his own way. It is the age that upsets some people.

Ellora is not coping though with the routine that she has found herself in and is already using a form of controlled crying.

Just because this little boy is happy in what he has is not reason enough to keep doing it if it is not fitting in with others around him.

Bringing up children is incredibly hard and that's why we should take the advice we like and just leave what we don't.

Bullying is a very emotive word. We control children's behaviour on a daily basis. That is our job if you like to help them become great adults and have a happy childhood. I know lots of children who don't have the boundaries and they are often the ones who are screaming and crying or shouting and arguing a lot of the day. That's not fun for anyone.

Which remark do you refer to?
No one is asking you to defend anything though you were very critical of something I wrote to the point of swearing about it and so I was simply explaining.

20 minutes is a long time which is why I advocate 5,10,15 and then 5 again. You need to use common sense obviously and if we are talking about a daytime nap, I only put children down for a day time nap when they show signs of tiredness as babies and a fixed naptime of after dinner only comes in at around 18 months with me. That is just personal preference.

A lot of what happens with our children is luck with a little bit of know how added in. Just as there will be a smoker of 70 years who doesn't get cancer yet the 42 year old Father of 4 does. Luck, genetics, whatever...we can all find stories that fit any parenting practice or any theory we have.

We need to feel secure and happy at the end of the day that we are doing our best and that if we are unhappy about things, we should change them.

Ellora doesn't really say why she needs him in his cot. That's her perogative. I was working with both of mine as babies and they came to work with me. Both slept in pushchairs during their daytime nap and in their cots/beds at the weekends/ days off. The pushchair did them no harm and so that's that but they never also had a problem sleeping anywhere. I have known children who only like their pushchairs for naps and then have had to start their nighttime sleep in a pushchair before being lifted into bed...That is a daft situation if you can avoid it.

On a completely personal note, I never think it is neccessary to swear about others comments. We can't all agree but if you were out with your friends, having a discusion with them, would you swear at them? We are not friends but isn't the principal on here that we are all looking out for each other? That is in some way akin to friendship.

ok..just noticed on other threads that it is just the way you write so won't be taking it personally
Tried to edit the moan out of my post but it seems you can't so hey ho!!