11 month old will only nap if in car or pram and need to get him in cot

[Ellora]

Hi

Am desperate my son from day 1 was pushed in his pram or driven in the car every nap time and now we have reached 11 months and I need to get him in the cot during naps or I will never get anything done ever again! It has been killing me driving everywhere and pushing the pram everywhere and I just cannot do it anymore. He also doesn't seem to settle well there either anymore!

I know this could take weeks to change for him and it has been 5 days so far and I ensure he has his nap time on the dot at 10:00 with him waking at 7:00 he has cried and cried for days now and barely settled at all until a very late nap at lunchtime which I fear is more out of exhaustion.

I am using controlled crying going in there to shush him every 5 then 10 the 20 minutes e.t.c but is this the right way really to get them to nap in the cot. He never has though night times he is wonderful and sleeps straightwaya in cot from 7:00 - 7:00.

I make the room dark, nurse him and but not sure how to change the locality of where a baby sleeps and any advice would be so much appreciated!!

My ds is 2.6 and STILL only naps in the pushchair or car. It doesn't actually bother me as others have saud he sleeps fantastically well in his own room at night and settles himself with no fuss so I never wanted to ruin that and make him feel stressed in his cot.

He used to have to be rocked to music in the kitchen and then carefully carried through to the living room to nap on my knee until he was 14 months old so for me a bit of walking with the pushchair or a drive around the block is no problem at all but I do appreciate it depends on your expectations and your other commitments....

Lets just say I am glad ds is an only child as I can imagine with a new babyor an older child it wouldn't be possible to accomodate his napping habbits. If I were you though I'd just go with it and now my ds doesn't have a nap every day I do wonder why I spent so much of his babyhood worrying about where he napped etc. It changes, they grow up... they don't nap forever and leaving him to cry just doesn't seem worth it to me, not for more than a few minutes.

Also in my opinion 20 minutes of crying without any comfort is just too long for a little baby or child. If you do want to do CC then I would go back in after 2 mins, 5 mins, 10 mins, if he hasn't stopped crying by then then I'd give up and use the pushchair I'm afraid but I am maybe too soft! I could never bring myself to try it with ds.

Hello Ellora

I had the same problem as you: ds would only sleep in pram and I just desperately needed time for me not walking with him! I tried to get him into the cot but he was too upset so gave up on that one...but what I do is this: when he gets sleepy, cuddle him and say "we're going for a nap now", sing him a special nap time song, put him in the pram. If I can be bothered I go out until he's asleep, otherwise I put in my ipod on loud and rock him back and forth humming until he's asleep. Can take up to 10-15 minutes. Then put the pram in the dark and get on with whatever! Might that work for you? Not sure what your house is like for pram pushing space.

Ladyintheradiator, you don't know what Ellora is going through. Having to go out with the pram might well be more than a "mild inconvenience". She might have other family pressures, be pregnant and knackered, have health issues so she can't walk with ease... I hope not for her, but how do you know? I had PND and NEEDED time for myself even if it was just to stare out of the window with a cup of tea as ds slept. I would not have appreciated judgements about my security/ability/style of parenting from random strangers whom I'd turned to for help.

Mrs Poppins, how right you are and thanks your advice was spot on and worked a treat! Ladies (LadyintheRadiator and coldtit) am sorry you misunderstood me but I have to say a child sleeps better in their cot than being driven round in the middle of Qatar (where I happen to live) these roads aren't the safest not like a have a block here really! As for the pram if he is lying flat in a house versus lying in his cot, no difference to me.

I actually want the best for my child and a nap in the cot where he can get the proper sleep he deserves is waht I was striving for as that is where an 11 month old should sleep and sleeps perfectly happily there at night!

Well the solution was really to do with the nap times and controlled crying was needed for a very short period e.g. 10 minutes which is simply what my baby does when he is tired and doesn't know how to sleep without the sleep association of rocking or movement.

That was what needed to change you see ladies when a baby sleeps through Sophoric movement it means he wakes when the car hits the lights or when I stop pushing the pram. THIS HAD TO CHANGE FOR MY BABY NOT ME!!

Mrs Popping you were right after a few days I realised I needed to watch when he was tired again rather than try and force sleep through movement at set times that had worked before! SO I watched him and at 11:00 when he actually showed signs of tiredness I put him in his cot and lo and behold he slept a total of 2 hrs! SO that it really has worked for the last few days, my son seems much happier after a 2hr nap in the cot and finally I have a chance to cook and tidy the house a bit or just have a break!
He hasn't needed to sleep in his cot or in the car and it was fear on my part of how he would deal with the cot that worried me.

It is a shame there isn't the understanding of the worry mothers feels about doing the best for their kids. Sad that mumsent is losing that decency it once had! Anyway just to say thank you again Mrs Poppins you really helped with your advice, it was intelligent and supportive, just whats mumsent is all about. I hope someone find this thread as useful as I did in the end.

Adios
Ellora and happier baby Arlo xx

Fabulous...big xx