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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What do you expect your 7/8 year old to do in preperation for shool each day ?

52 replies

Lilyloo · 27/01/2010 12:41

I am on a slipply slope down the nag / nag route with ds.
This is especially bad in the mornings getting ready for school.
He is the eldest of 3 so i don't know if i am expecting too much of him.
He gets up around 7/7.30 and generally puts the tv on.
This starts my nagging.
Today for example i tell him to get ready then go upstairs to get the girls ready and myself.
Come back down at 8 and he is still dawdling about.
He then decides to get ready and starts grumbling about breakfast at 8.15 , we should leave at 8.20.

AIBU to expect him to get dressed (his clothes are already out)
get his breakfast (he can get cereals himself)
and brush his teeth/have wash ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 12:42

ban the tv....its the only way!

RollBaubleUnderTree · 27/01/2010 12:44

My just turned 7 year old gets himself dressed from basket of uniform in his room, brushes teeth, gets bag ready with prompting on that needs to be in there, puts tissues in pocket. He does not get his own breakfast. My four year old does more or less the same.

Tortoise · 27/01/2010 12:45

I agree with ilove.

I have a No TV/DS until everything is done. ie Dress, breakfast, teeth,put some bits in lunch box and put everything in school bag ready.

RollBaubleUnderTree · 27/01/2010 12:45

yes agree no TV in mornings here - it is the devil's work.

youwillnotwin · 27/01/2010 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 12:47

once they are in 'ben ten' land you've lost them...

occasionally my ds will perch on the sofa with shoes,coat and hat on,bookbag in hand,and watch a few mins whilst i finish faffing,but thats once he's completely ready!!

Original poster

Lilyloo · 27/01/2010 12:49

Right will try the no tv , but fear he will find something else to do.
When he should have been having a wash this morning he was reading a magazine

Do you make them get ready as it were as soon as they get up ?
Not sure whether to try that so at least he is dressed and washed before coming downstairs.

OP posts:

Comewhinewithme · 27/01/2010 12:53

I have 5 dc to get ready in the morning as you can probably guess some mornings are better than others.

My 8 year old has to eat breakfast first and take her dish into the kitchen then she comes upstairs washes/brushes teeth and then gets dressed.

She then finds anything she needs for the school day and hair bobbles for me to do her hair.

She is allowed to watch tv until it is time to go but we usually have the radio on.

Seona1973 · 27/01/2010 12:53

we do teeth before we go downstairs and the clothes are all downstairs ready to be put on (apart from me as I go in the shower just before 7am and get dressed upstairs). They (dd 6yrs and ds 3yrs) dont get dressed till after breakfast so any mess goes on their pyjamas. I do set up breakfast and do a pack lunch if needed. Once we have all had breakfast I get the kids sorted, help dd with her tights, etc and do her hair. The only tv that goes on is the breakfast news channel as if they had kids tv on we'd never get out the house.

MollyRoger · 27/01/2010 12:59

well, mine has an older brother, but he is less than sympathetic and helpful...
ds2 dresses himself,(but I leave school clothes on the bannister for him) comes downstairs, gets his breakfast, feeds the cat and then eats breakfast in front of the tv with his brother. his brother leaves at 8am, by which time I am up and dressed and have made packed lunches. I nag teethbrushing and washing (after breakkie) and then he watches tv or plays til 8.30 when he leaves with dh.d

Julezboo · 27/01/2010 13:07

Turn the TV OFF!! Its the only way to get them out!!

DS2 is 7

he does the following:

Gets himself dressed
brushes his teeth
lets his brother out of the gate (LOL)
gets his lunch out the fridge
puts his coat and shoes on

TBH it does take some nagging and I am feeling awful because we just found out he has auditory memory problems along with dyslexia and I have been known to shout at him in the mornings in the past.

will make every effort now to be understanding with him!

thisbusaintdrivinanywhere · 27/01/2010 13:07

Why not start making his breakfast as the first thing so he can be eating that instead of watching tv? That gets him off on the right path, at least.

I would perhaps try to put in place a consequence (not so much a punishment) for him running out of time as I think at that age they are just a bit crap at managing their time and doing the important things first. Something to help him focus on that so he actually learns to get better at it may help. I've got a seven-year old and his awareness of just how fast time passes is rubbish, even when he means well!

Also if you read your OP it sounds a bit as if you're not really interacting with him much in the mornings because you're busy with your other dcs. Dawdling around and keeping you waiting may actually be a way of guaranteeing a bit of extra attention from you, if it means you're standing by him all the time just before you leave chivvying him along. You could try offering to stay with him while he gets dressed or makes breakfast, but say that you're going to leave and go and do something else if he stops getting on with it and faffs around instead (and then follow through on that, not crossly, but definitely). That way your attention is the reward for him doing what you want, rather than being the reward for delaying.

poutine · 27/01/2010 13:09

DS (7) is allowed to do what he likes in the morning until 7:15am. (He usually either loafs around in our bed or plays on his DS or reads something.)

Once 7:15am rolls around, though, (ie I get out of bed!), that's when our morning 'routine' starts. At that point, he has to put away whatever he's doing, turn off the TV, etc.

He has a small list of things which need to be done. Once he's done those jobs, he can then go back to doing what he likes. The TV stays off until he's done his tasks so he has an incentive to be quick!

Here is what he needs to do:

eat breakfast
get dressed
brush teeth
wash face
make bed (but he has a duvet so it's not exactly a demanding task!)
put pj's under pillow.

FernieB · 27/01/2010 13:28

No TV allowed in the morning here either! Once it's on, you've lost them.

Mine are awake before 7am, have to be downstairs and dressed by 7.30am, then it's breakfast (which I make - they usually have something warm). At 8am they brush teeth and hair and we leave at 8.15am.

It wasn't always like this, but mine are 9 so when it was getting bad again, we had a discussion and came up with the above timetable and all signed it (I keep it in the kitchen as proof they agreed!)

cea · 27/01/2010 13:45

My DS is 5 and he is expected to get up when his alarm goes off at 7.30, make his own bed, ( ie shake duvet vaguely straight, come down to find me, sit at table and eat the breakfast that is put in front of him...no TV. Then clean his teeth, brush his hair get dressed ( clothes are laid out for him) and then if there is anytime left before we leave he can have 10 mins of TV or computer ..his choice. All pretty calm. We used to have TV on during breakfast...disaster..stopped it once we had to get out of house for nursery school and he never mentions it now.

coldtits · 27/01/2010 13:48

Our routine is this.
teeth wash up etc
Everyone downstairs. I sit on sofa and dress/prompt children.
I go and make breakfast
I leave them eating it
I go and get dressed.
Depending on time, I may have a cup of tea. I may harry them out of the door.

meltedmarsbars · 27/01/2010 13:50

No TV! Deffo no tv before school!

Mine eats breakfast before dressing because all the males in this household are like bears with sore heads before they've eaten.

If there is time after dressing etc, he will read to me (his choice of book/comic/mag). That only happens about once a week.

FernieB - bloody hell, a signed contract!?

Hulababy · 27/01/2010 13:57

DD is 7. Her morning routine is:

Woken up at 7am
2 days a week, quick bath and hair wash; rest wash at sink
Dressed into uniform before she comes downstairs
Breakfast, with TV (he and DH take it in turns each day to chose the channel betwen News or Disney)
7:45am(ish) - packs school book to ensure she has snack, homework, reading diary, reading book, recorder
8am - leave for school with DH

Have to admit that DH gets her breakfast for her, whilst she is getting dressed.

She washes and brushes her teeth herself. She does still have the bath run for her, and Ime or DH will rinse her hair for her when washing it (it gets itchy if not rinses fully). I also put her hair up for her.

Oblomov · 27/01/2010 13:58

ds is 5, nearly 6. we nag and nag. but he gets up and puts school uniform on adn brushes teeth. then down for breakfast. no tv in the mornings. this may be where you are going wrong. but every mother i know has to nag their sons:
please get dressed
no boxers on please,
why haven't you got your shirt on.
please stop mucking about. get your tie and jumper on now.
why haven't you got shoes on, this is the third time

it goes on and on. everyone is the same.

crumpet · 27/01/2010 13:58

ours aren't allowed downstairs until they are dressed (inc. teeth and hair)

piratecat · 27/01/2010 13:58

get dressed
eat breakfast
brush teeth

prompted!!

Original poster

Lilyloo · 27/01/2010 14:01

Right no tv definately

Fernie i do think i will need to sit with him and discuss a better routine for the morning.

thisbus i agree , i do really leave him to it once i go upstairs to get me and the girls ready. Usually the tv time coincides with dp , dd1 having breakfast. DS doesn't like to eat as soon as he gets up so i usually sit with him and have a cup of tea.

Thanks for all your replies at least i know it isn't too much to expect him to do. Just have to find a routine better than i have now as i am sick of the sound of my own voice in the morning.
Then i feel really bad that the day starts off like that for dc's.

OP posts:

MayorNaze · 27/01/2010 14:03

dd is 7 and a total dreamer. therefore we get up extra early to compensate

wake her up 6.50. light and radio on on her room.

7.00 - stand in room and talk to her til she is actually out of bed.

at sometime between 7 - 7.30 she will arrive downstairs fully dressed for breakfast. she has to put her lunchbox, reading book etc in her bag herself.

breakfast will then take at least half an hour to be eaten - piece of fruit, glass of milk and bowl of cereal OR piece of toast. i prepare it or we would be here all day, plus i have ds and dd2 to supervise also.

upstairs to wash, brush teeth and brush hair. this will take 15 minutes+ usually with me saying pointedly every 2 mins Teeth, Wash, Hair etc.
leave house 8.30

NO TV ON SCHOOLDAYS!!!!!!!

and get up flipping early to allow LOADS of extra time for the bare minimum to be done.

Original poster

Lilyloo · 27/01/2010 14:05

Oblomov
that makes me feel better!!

OP posts:

ToccataAndFudge · 27/01/2010 14:07

DS1 and 2 (9 and 6) both

(after I've asked them)

make sure their uniform is ready the night before
get up and get breakfast (they do their own)
get washed and dressed
make sure they have their bags ready (especially DS1 who has 2 friends who call for him to walk up to school).

At the moment they're on free school meals (packed lunches at their schools) - but DS1 around 7yrs old was making his own packed lunch in the morning and making sure it was in his lunchbox.

We do have TV on (for DS3) but I'll confess we are "TV always on" household so they're used to it being on and just ignore it..........although the ignoring in the mornings is probably something to do with my screeching nagging at the in years gone by

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