I have asked a couple of questions on here about ds recently, i have concluded that it is as i suspected and that he may have sn.

[sunburntats]

Despite the school telling me that he does not.
I have done that on line questioairre and cannot tick off any more than 4 of the criteria. It says if you tick 7 or more then consider sns.
But really, he isnt a "normal" kid from what you all tell em that your kids do and dont do.
Always been a bit destructive from when he could move. We had to move absolutely everything from his level, always "been into everything" type kid.
Used to not go anywhere for months at a time when he was little because he was such hard work. Couldnt take him to friends houses had to meet at soft play areas, even they were a living nightmare.
My house is wrecked.

I have huge dents in a bedroom wall where he bashed and bashed with a huge dobber marble. I heard the banging and he continued even when told to stop. Took marble off him.

Yesterday he put a scented candle on top of a heater, then tipped the candle wax all over my conservatory and stuck toys in it.
He has been disciplined over this and i made him clean the lot up.

Cousin was round the other day (aged 7) and i heard huge thuds, they were throwing around a plastic buzz lightyear toy as hard as they could around the conservatory. It broke. I took it off them and of course bansheed about the room being made of glass blah blah blah.

His room was an absolute tip, they had just thrown his toys out of every draw, matress off the bed, bedding everywhere. you couldnt see the carpet.

I cannot trust him for more than a few minutes in a room alone, have to have the doors open so i can see him.
Wont sit through a DVD, after 10 minutes he is up, jumping aorund.

I posted a few weeks ago about bieng sick to the back teeth with telling him "no, get off that, get down, stop jumping on the sofa, stop throwing things, stop banging" He has to bang inscesantly, if its not banging an object its his feet, leg arm,head, he HAS to make as loud a noise as he can.

He does not have sn, school complain that he cant sit still, is disruptive always in trouble, the naughty one in the class.
My family cant stand him, freinds have little tolerance for him, never invited to parties.
Does not sleep, cannot bring himself to be affectionate, HATES to be cuddled. i have to beg for a kiss, bribe for a cuddle. never wants any physical contact, he will move away if i sit next to him.

School are adamant that he does not have special needs, but why is every day such a battle, why are no one elses kids like this?
Why is it just mine?

how old is he sunburn?

lots of those things sound v normal for a child tbh

how old is he? old enough to know that the heater would melt the candle or did it just happen and he though oooo cool look what I made

my kids trash the bedroom just like your DD, DD will sit through a film but DS not in a million years

they throw toys and fight and wrestle and shout and don't listen

children have v poor impluse control ime

I would go to your gp and say you need help to cope with him. Special needs or not you need tactics that work for you.

Did you look at INPP.org - their techniques would really calm him down if he has retained morro reflex because that causes over production of adrenalin which would explain the never sitting still, flitting around all the time, no TV watching etc etc etc

he is 6.

Ooh INPP, will have a look now, thansk you very much, yes i need tactics.

Sorry INPP is treatment rather than tactics. You need referring by your gp to somewhere to get tactics - errr ed pyshc or something?????????

quick link to INPP screening questionnaire

www.inpp.org.uk/questions/index.php

mmm, jsut redid the questionnaire.
He walked at 11 months. was a whizz on his bile from about 3, took stabalizers off when he was nearly 4.Talked early...never shut up since
Reading and writing ok, birth weight 5lbs 4oz, pre eclampsia, premature by a month, VERY VERY demanding as a baby, didnt sleep through the night till 4 years old.
Colic and then straight into croup.

All good stuff really.
Think he may have "behavioural" issues rather than emotional or educational issues. Although i do worry about the dislike of physical love, cuddles etc.

good rl mates DS hate hate hates being cuddled/kissed

just an individual thing I think

He sounds like a Sensory Seeker to me.

go through GP as already advised
Why are school adamant that he does not have SN - what reasons have they given? Don't expect the school to know either way BTW.

You can refer him yourself to an ed psych. Just phone up the council and ask to be put through or if you want go through your gp. It doesnt sound like normal behaviour tbh.

I agree. Please don't assume the school are right. Chances are they haven't a clue.

agree with cornsilk and jabberwocky. Go to GP and explain the problems you are having with him at school and socially. And may be useful for you to get hold of a copy of Out of Synch child by Carol Kranowitz - sometimes if a child has sensory issues (undersensitive to movement) they can be a bit of a whirlwind.

also he doesn't sit still etc - this is why I think he may have retained his morro reflex, very quick and easy to test for.

If he sat still and was generally calmer would the rest of his behaviour be easier to cope with?

HOnestly in your situation I'd be prepared to try anything he sounds extremely hard work. You must be exhausted be it all.

I would get an ed psych if you can. And see a good OT. Where are you located?
How are his social skills with other children - were he and the other boy enjoying each other's company as they trashed the room the other day? Was he interacting with him as kids do?

like totalchaos said, they can be undersensitive to movement...
they can also be oversensitive to sensory input as well. It's important to find out which if that is the case to treat it properly. Sometimes very simple techniques work quite well. A good OT will be able to help most.

Hi sunburntats
I think your sons school are wrong
Only my humble opinion though

Without meaning to patronise you - is he any better if you actively try to praise positive behaviour rather than spending all day saying "no dont do that, stop banging" etc - I mention this because to be frank my ds can be a pita and is tbh worse if I spend all day saying "no stop that!" but a bit of positive praise can help
Not always though - he does often say "But mum I enjoy being annoying!"

he doesn't sound a million miles away from my son to be honest. i think its just the way he is. think we over analyse our boys sometimes.

positive praise works very well with him.
We make evry effort to pile this on whenever possible.

If he was calmer and was able to sit still for longer periods he would be MILES easier to cope with yes!
Thing is, when he does sit, he is constantly messing with something.

He chew his clothes as well. But has to be on the move all time.

this holiday me and dh have taken it in turns to look after ds. half an hour each.

we are pretty active people. I take him round the block on his gocart. Dh takes him to the park with his bike, he would be out int he garden all day evry day (but floods it with the hosepipe or wrecks the wooden fencing with whatever he can find)
if weather permitted. we try to tire him out.
Strict with diet because we know that affects his behaviour.

i am fecking knackard, yes

does he bump into things on purpose really hard - or do similar things to that?

My friend has a son who when he was the same age she was very worried about, behaved very similarly. Obviously, this is just him and what happened to him, not a comment on you at all, but thought I'd add nonetheless.

They saw a GP and ed psych in the end and it was agreed that he had no SN. He did have a need for very clear boundaries and things to work towards which they got help with. Also very clear consequences decided before a transgression. So if he wilfully damaged somebody else's property, he would forfeit one of his named favourite toys. He then had to earn it back with a chart.

Things like letting him into his room and leaving him there while expecting him to not "misbehave" were a no no. If he was left alone in his room it was with strict instructions as to what he was "allowed" to do. If he deviated from this, he would again forfeit a toy or lose a privilege or drop back on something he was working towards.

It was all more complicated than this but he needed a lot more structure and rigidity than he was getting, clearer boundaries, firmer guidance and much more supervision.

Like I said, this is just my friend's ds. I can't say if your ds has sn at all but I can confirm that this behaviour can be present in nt children.

Back to the INPP thing they needing oral stimulation is an indicator too hence why they ask about late thumbsucking.

Sorry I keep harping on about it but the difference in dd was amazing and so quickly. INPP and similar NDD treatments help a wide range of SN, not a cure but can help each individual so much.

Whereabout do you live?

Friends' ds is a lovely boy now. Of course he always was but it was hard to appreciate his loveliness when he was banging rocks against bigger rocks and then chucking them through the shed window. He has grown up considerably and my friend has to parent him in a very different way to how she parents her other children.

Your son sounds like my DS2 (10). Although he his "misdemeanours" (sp) have got better and less err severe.

Mine is always on the go.

Is a skinny little thing.

Loves lots of cuddles though.

Walked at 10 months.

Would not entertain stabilisers and took another childs bike in the street that did not have them on and he was going to show everyone he could ride it - 3 years old.

He is a "picker" and a "chewer" with his fingernails/toenails and the surrounding skin. He fidgets a lot.

He potty trained himself at about 19 months. He was not going to wear nappies and that was that. He wanted big boys pants like his brother. But although he was dry by day, he was a bedwetter (and we still have the occasional accident) up until he was about 8 and a half years old.

Would not entertain armbands in the swimming lessons - he was going to do it without and did. The look of shock on the teachers face.

He does like to help around the house - very eager to please. When I had a knee operation in September he made my breakfast and lunch and was like a little mother hen.

The stunts that he has pulled - you would not believe....

Everything is high up and out of reach - but he was like a climbing monkey.

Poured paint into the petrol section of the lawn mower.

Cut my beautiful venetian blinds with scissors.

Cut the stitching on my lovely new leather sofa.

Opened up cellophaned and boxed perfumes and sprayed them everywhere.

He is very handy with a screwdriver - always find things in bits.

Went into next doors garage and helped himself to ice lollies out of their freezer.

Tells fibs - he went to his friends up the street yesterday. I rang my friend and said could you send DS2 home. She said oh they went to the park (he wasn't supposed to go). DH rang him on his mobile and he told DH that he was actually playing indoors at his friends....

He does have an IEP at school to help with reading, spellings and writing. When he was in Yr1 I was forever getting upset as everytime the bloody door opened at school I was always summoned across to speak to the teacher. He has fidgetted today.. he has not concentrated... he has not done this, not done that... I think they wanted a round child for a round hole and we had a square child.

I have a friend whose job was assessing children in schools and she said he was just a high spirited child and nothing more.

Sunburntats, I was also thinking sensory processing difficulties when reading your op.

If you scroll down this page it gives a check list.

Also agree with others to try to get an OT assessment but it should be with an OT who specialises in sensory integration.

Don't suppose you are anywhere in the Kingston upon Thames area? I know a fab one!