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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I have asked a couple of questions on here about ds recently, i have concluded that it is as i suspected and that he may have sn.

44 replies

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 19:50

Despite the school telling me that he does not.
I have done that on line questioairre and cannot tick off any more than 4 of the criteria. It says if you tick 7 or more then consider sns.
But really, he isnt a "normal" kid from what you all tell em that your kids do and dont do.
Always been a bit destructive from when he could move. We had to move absolutely everything from his level, always "been into everything" type kid.
Used to not go anywhere for months at a time when he was little because he was such hard work. Couldnt take him to friends houses had to meet at soft play areas, even they were a living nightmare.
My house is wrecked.

I have huge dents in a bedroom wall where he bashed and bashed with a huge dobber marble. I heard the banging and he continued even when told to stop. Took marble off him.

Yesterday he put a scented candle on top of a heater, then tipped the candle wax all over my conservatory and stuck toys in it.
He has been disciplined over this and i made him clean the lot up.

Cousin was round the other day (aged 7) and i heard huge thuds, they were throwing around a plastic buzz lightyear toy as hard as they could around the conservatory. It broke. I took it off them and of course bansheed about the room being made of glass blah blah blah.

His room was an absolute tip, they had just thrown his toys out of every draw, matress off the bed, bedding everywhere. you couldnt see the carpet.

I cannot trust him for more than a few minutes in a room alone, have to have the doors open so i can see him.
Wont sit through a DVD, after 10 minutes he is up, jumping aorund.

I posted a few weeks ago about bieng sick to the back teeth with telling him "no, get off that, get down, stop jumping on the sofa, stop throwing things, stop banging" He has to bang inscesantly, if its not banging an object its his feet, leg arm,head, he HAS to make as loud a noise as he can.

He does not have sn, school complain that he cant sit still, is disruptive always in trouble, the naughty one in the class.
My family cant stand him, freinds have little tolerance for him, never invited to parties.
Does not sleep, cannot bring himself to be affectionate, HATES to be cuddled. i have to beg for a kiss, bribe for a cuddle. never wants any physical contact, he will move away if i sit next to him.

School are adamant that he does not have special needs, but why is every day such a battle, why are no one elses kids like this?
Why is it just mine?

OP posts:

bellavita · 02/01/2010 20:49

Blimey, sorry I didn't mean to write an essay.

*Laura" - I think you have hit the nail on the head with the praise thing... DS2 loves this and his face beams with pride when he knows that he has done something to please.

I think we got in a rut when he was smaller with the "don't do that" routine - he was so exhausting we didn't know how to deal with him.

StarExpat · 02/01/2010 20:51

me too, daftapeth. I know an OT who specialises in sensory integration in Kingston upon Thames. Maybe we know each other!
I'm a primary teacher (not at a british school) and have seen OT work wonders time and time again with the sort of behaviour you describe.

Original poster

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 20:55

oh God yes! he is a demon with a screw driver, took stair gate to bits when he was toddler...(dh was doing some diy.) knows the names of them all as well, cross head, philips WTF!!!

He gets on well with other kids although does not ahve any firm friends at school yet (year 2 now)

He is a July baby, so is one of the youngest in his class. Teachers made some concessions for this although one did tell me that this should not be an excuse for his behaviour.

I agree witht the poster who commented about "over analysing our kids" this is why i am so interested in comparison of behaviours of kids the same age. Need to establish what is normal behaviour.
He has always been the far end of normal i think. Is that possible?! or did i just make that up??

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 20:57

im oop north.

OP posts:

DaftApeth · 02/01/2010 20:57

I don't live that near there StarExpat but ended up treking over there weekly/twice weekly (an hours drive!) with ds a few years ago for sessions as there was no-one else locally and I know the owner as I used to work with her - many moons ago.

bellavita · 02/01/2010 20:58

sunburn - ds took the fridge locks off and the locks of the cupboard doors, we had to take the stair gates off because he broke those.

DS2 is a November baby so one of the oldest in his class. He gets on better in smaller groups at school rather than a big class.

Ingles2 · 02/01/2010 21:02

sunburntats... I don't know about your ds and SN but when I was battling recently to get ds2 diagnosed, I went to the GP and asked for a referral to the Community Paed.
From there you can see the ED Psych etc. This was recommended to me and worked really quickly.
Within 2 months ds2 had seen the Paed, had a dyspraxia diagnosis and sees the OT in Jan. HTH's

SleighGirl · 02/01/2010 21:02

I'm down south but I'm happy to ask if he can personally recommend anyone. Are you NW NE or are we talking Scotland?

StarExpat · 02/01/2010 21:03

oh ok, we don't know each other - but might know the same OT

My DS is 15 months and he walked at 10 months. It's been mentioned a few times on this thread. Are early walkers prone to mischievous behaviours later on?

Original poster

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 21:07

im nw.

He takes the back off every battery powered toy he has ever owned from bieng a toddler.
Have to keep remote controlls right out of his way.

Wants to know how things work.

We saved an old broken radio for him to dismantle once, he LOVED it, took it to bits and attempted to put it back together

My house is a shadow of its former self.

OP posts:

DaftApeth · 02/01/2010 21:15

If the OT works from a scout hut, then we do!

Sunburntats if you decide to go down a private OT aasessment route, this website might help you find someone.

Not all OTs are able to do sensory integration work because it involves lots of large equipment that some (particularly NHS departments) cannot afford or have space for.

OT's will also asess any retained reflexes as identified in 'inpp'.

Good luck. I'll look out for you to see how you get on with what ever route you decide.

Personally, I would probably see GP and ask for OT and Paediatric referral first to see where that leads, before seeking anything private.

His school could refer him to the Ed Psych as that would be to a fellow educational service rather than NHS but as they feel he does not have difficulties, that could be hard.

DaftApeth · 02/01/2010 21:17

It sounds as though he'll make a fab electrician or engineer once he can focus all his energies

Original poster

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 21:23

me and dh laugh about that often dafty! he will be a fab engineer yes!!

thing is me and dh are very calm and laid back people! cant understand how we have ended up with such a whirlwind! He is the polar opposite to us both.

OP posts:

Original poster

sunburntats · 02/01/2010 21:27

Start with the GP me thinks, then see from there. Like the idea of bieng able to self refer to ed psych people, even if just for an assessment to put things into perspective, even if they tell me he is ok.

He is the way he is, i know that, but when people actively dislike him and i have to protect him from that, it makes it all that much more difficult as they just do not "get" him
i need amunition to say actually he IS normal, he is fine, its you lot that have no tolerance. (to my family mostly)

OP posts:

SleighGirl · 02/01/2010 21:34

Sounds like OT could be really good!

jabberwocky · 02/01/2010 21:43

sunburn, if he does indeed have sensory problems OT can resolve many of the issues he is having and make everyone's life easier. Ds1 is also 6 and still quite a handful even after 2 years of therapy. BUT he is much better and I have explained Sensory Processing Disorder to the family which has helped a lot.

DaftApeth · 02/01/2010 22:04

I agree Jaberwockey.

Ds really enjoyed his ot sessions - lots of jumping, balancing and swinging!

It makes a huge difference having a diagnosis too and that it's not just your dc being naughty!

Don't think you will be able to self refer to Ed Psych, I'm afraid. Will have to come from another professional but could be NHS or school.

StarExpat · 03/01/2010 07:36

OT sessions are really fun. That reminds me, sunburn you could start yourself a bit by giving him some time daily on a trampoline, rope swinging, and letting him bounce on a big exercise ball in a safe room. the OT will have specialized techniques and exercises she (or he) does with him, but I do know she usually recommends this at home equipment for follow through Trampoline bouncing really helps a lot, supposedly.

jabberwocky · 03/01/2010 16:44

Yes, OT is a lot of fun! We have a mini tramp in the playroom along with an indoor swing, bean bag and some rope lights (sensory lighting). It is a safe haven for ds1 to unwind after school, etc.

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