"Force" feeding issues at 15 mo

[titferbrains]

My dd has various issues with eating, the worst prob is spitting food out instead of swallowing when she's finished chewing. She doesn't like carbs - but is slowly starting to try them.

I struggle with her at most meals and often find myself "forcing" food into her mouth in order to to "get her going" - often she'll appear not to want to eat but if you put the food on her mouth so she can lick her lips, she'll start to eat. She has always hated potato but today I gave her very milky mash and she ate a few mouthfuls before getting upset and deciding she didn't want any more. I then offered her meat which she ate a bit of, and then when I tried to offer more potato she pushed it away. But when I pushed some into her mouth, she chewed/ate for quite a while and certainly didn't spit it out. I did this for a few more mouthfuls and then gave up. I really worry about her not getting full enough so it would be much better if she ate a little bit of carbs and got used to the texture. Am I doing completely the wrong thing by " force" feeding her?

What happens if you don't 'force feed' her?

Personally, I would just let her eat what she wants, and then leave it until the next meal. She won't starve hrself, and will eventually try things.

I HATE making an issue out of food and have have never done so, and my chldren now have brilliant apetites and eat just about anything. My DS1 ate scrambled eg as a baby. Then aed 18 months decided he didn't like it. I just let him leave it, but kept putting alittle on his plate whenever we had it, and eventually, aged five, he just tried it and has eaten it ever since. Ridiculously long time, but I suspect had I made a fuss, he would never have tried it.

Well she swallows very little as most gets spat out after a bit of chewing, so I am then left filling her up on fruit, ella purees, yogurt or custard. I think she is getting a bit of a sweet tooth and I want to keep encouraging her to have more savoury foods. So if i hadn't "forced" in a bit of potato today, she would have just chewed bits of veg and meat, and then eaten half a yogurt. I am on my own all day and I find I really have to make sure she eats something filling at lunch or else she melts down at 4pm. Her snacks are raisins, crackers or other fruit.

I'm posting because it's difficult to give her a "balanced" meal so I feel she should have a few normal savoury foods at lunch and dinner and I think 3 or 4 mouthfuls of potato and a few bits of meat isn't enough before yogurt.

I am trying to be flexible but I never feel she eats a full meal - she only really has fruit and a few cheerios at breakfast so I want her to eat a good lunch.

Sounds like you have done a great job with your 2.

How much milk is your dd drinking every day? My 19 month old dd has a small appetite, and apart from when she has growth spurts she only eats roughly about 3/4 tablespoons worth of food at each meal, sometimes less. But she usually tries most things and has a few mouthfuls of each thing mostly. She doesn?t really like potato either, or egg, and she loves fruit too. But she has 500-600ml of milk a day, she?s a good weight and so although I imagined she would eat more at mealtimes, I?m not worried. I can?t comment on the ?force feeding? as we did baby led weaning, where you always leave them to it. I just keep putting a bit of everything on her plate and leave her to it, and try never to comment on what she?s eaten as I think if she picked up there was any pressure to eat, she?d get annoyed and push the plate away. I try to remember it?s a process for learning about different tastes and textures and that it should be fun and enjoyable, and not about me worring about filling her up! As she loves her milk I think she?s getting a fair bit of nutrition from it.

Sorry, a bit waffly there, but I just wanted to say I don?t think you should worry and concentrate on keeping mealtimes interesting and fun so she?ll hopefully be keener to try things.

' I am then left filling her up on fruit, ella purees, yogurt or custard.'

That's your problem - don't do it. If she knows she will get these 'treats' if she refuses savoury food then she will continue to do so.

The foods you list are all quite smooth, maybe she likes the ease of smooth food? Does she have many teeth? DS loves his food but has only really liked meat recently - when he's got more teeth.

Do you let her feed herself or do you spoon feed her?

Agree with MiddleAged, don't give her the sweet stuff, let her build up a hunger and she'll probably be less fussy with the savoury stuff - that's what my dd's like, I have to go very easy on snacks and let her get hungry.

I agree with middleagednamechanger. I know it must be tempting to get her to eat something, anything, but lets face it, fruit/yoghurt does taste much nicer than avoury suff like potato, so maybe she knows if she leaves the savoury she gets the sweet thnigs more quickly.

I appreciate you're keeping things healthy, but they will still fill her up.

I would definitely let her have more control over her eating - but with choices of what you want her to eat.

If she doesn't eat much at a meal either try another meal within a short time or offer regular snacks that you are happy with.

At 15mo lots of babies are still eating a limited diet (My DS ate a lot of things but only a little in quantity) and I really think a relaxed attitude is the way to go.

She has weight issues too so we have to put fat on everything etc. I see her get hungry based on what I give her and what she feeds herself. If I just stop giving her fruit and she's smearing potato across her tray because she doesn't want to eat any more of what in front of her, am I really supposed to take her away from the table knowing she's hungry? At last weighing she was below the 0.4th percentile.

Has anyone done this? Ended a meal knowing child wants something else "sweet"? Don't they just whinge/complain all afternoon?

Well, what you do now will have an effect on her eating habits for her whole life, and her being hungry for a few days isn't the end of the world. She really won't starve herself, and I suspect the fact ou are (understandably) upset about it makes things worse. The more you see it as a problem, the worse it will make things.

My friends daughter is now 7 and had similar eating issues to your daughter at that age. Friend got panicky and fed her whatever she would eat, and now her daughter is underweight and extremely fussy about what she eats, she hardly has any variety in her diet and has also become obsessive about food.

Yes, she probably will moan at first, but once (and I suspect if you relax about it it will be sooner rather than later) she realises she is hungry and it's a case of eating what's in front of her or nothing at all, she will eat it. Even if she doesn't, trying it for a couple of weeks won't do her any harm.

Yes, they do whinge! For a day or two... then eventually they get the idea. Serve up whatever savoury foods she likes the best.

If you're worried about meltdown later in the day you could try this in the short term - if she doesn't eat what you offer, no biggie, take it away and try another meal in 2 hours, even if it's not "A Mealtime". Once she gets the idea that sweet stuff isn't coming she'll likely try a bit of something here and there. And if she doesn't eat much for a few days, don't panic - keep her fluids up and she'll be ok.

She'll get there, most likely,so don't worry. The vast majority of toddlers do this to us at various points, certainly all the ones I know, and very few (none I know) have ever needed medical intervention. Obviously that does happen I know, but as long as she's hydrated and there's no underlying health concerns and you keep an eye on her then I don't think you should worry too much.

Best of luck

she is sooooo young, i'd try not to worry too much! if she prefers sweeter foods like yoghurts/ellas etc then offer the less sweet versions (e.g., vegetabley ellas and natural/plain yoghurt) and see how that works... i know others may not agree with this but i honestly don't think you can read too much into what a 15 month old does and there's no reason to think if she doesn't eat potato now, she never will! my daughter is nearly 3 and has gone through many random phases of eating more or less and refusing certain items and I think it is just normal for some kids. others love all food from early on and that's normal too. i reckon if you keep varying what's on offer, let her try feeding herself as much as you can (e.g., toast is fab with all sorts of toppings) and, hard as it is (i remember feeling soooo annoyed with DD), trying to chill, it'll probably right itself... don't feel bad for a few excessive yoghurts/ellas to keep you both happy and full - they are really not the worst things a child could eat by any means!!! a little bit of 'force' feeding probably won't do any harm if you really are just popping it on her mouth for tasting and not actually trying to force it in in vast quantities ... good luck!

I would hold off on things she really really doesn't like for a bit and also hold off on the snacks, apart from fruit and maybe something a bit dull like plain brown bread and butter or a plain cracker. What savoury things will she both chew and swallow? My daughter also really dislikes potato (she is now three but probably hasn't eaten more than five or six bites of it in the past year). Pasta is a good alternative and you can cook it nice and soft so it doesn't take too much chewing. Also, try really soft protein like plain poached fish - if she doesn't have to chew so much maybe she will be more likely to swallow. And you can melt some butter onto the fish or give it with a cheese/parsley sauce for extra calories and flavour.

Also agree that toast is a wonderful thing. Cheese on toast or hoummous on toast with fruit pot or just fruit for pudding is a perfectly good meal. You can put chopped tomatoes under the cheese if you think she'd manage that, too. Pizza really good for fussy eaters as well, IME, and you can put all kinds of veg on top if you chop it small so it's not too noticeable.

potato does seem to be a tricky one for lots of kids... and "pizza toast" is fun to make together and experiment a bit with food - my DD has only ever eaten sweetcorn in that form!

Yes, pizza toast with tomato and cheese or just pizza is a great one for experimenting. I've managed to get artichokes, olives, mushrooms, peppers, spinach and asparagus onto the 'will eat' list by the pizza method. And mine is a child who really hates vegetables.

I'm looking for a method of getting carrots off the hate list at the moment and she has deigned to try mashed carrot and swede with a lot of gravy a few times. She likes helping with the mashing.

I meant to say earlier, like LJBrownie I don't think yoghurt or fruit pots are a terrible thing to be eating a lot of, either. Cooked fruit and yoghurt are both really nutritious and good foods to encourage her to like. They're not crazily sweet and they are genuinely good for her. Would personally hold off on the custard because of sugar but a fruit pot at the end of a meal is no bad thing.

Thanks so much! we had a reasonably successful day! I persevered with letting her feed herself a bit (which I have been trying without much success) and pick up bits - we always let her do this but I was a bit about pastina - anyway I mixed the baby pasta with cream cheese - and she had some! I then whipped up some fritters with leftover veg and mashed potato as the dietician had just been reminding me that she needed egg for iron. I mixed another bit of pastina with tomato soup and she ate some of that too. No custard or yogurt! I think she actually swallowed some too! I will persevere tmw and see how I get on. HAve a dreadful cold but hope to find the energy to make her some interesting savoury food.

Thanks again for support, much appreciated.

She ate small bit of the fritter too, I forgot to say - not keen at first but once I'd eaten a bit and done a lot of MMM YUMMY she had a little bit. I think I have a tendency to push too much once she's had a bit of something - I love my food and I just think "come on you've eaten a bit now FINISH IT" which of course isn't quite the right attitude...

Thanks for toast tips, she doesn't like bread sadly - we have had a bit of success with rolls and nice french bread but she isn't up for brown bread at all and has never really gone in for toast, although I have it for breakfast almost every day.... baby steps eh. will try and remember all your words of encouragement when I'm wielding a spoon tmw!

I'm reading this thread with interest because some of it applies to my DD.

I just thought I'd add as another ideas that my DD adores pesto sauce, particularly salmon fork mashed with some pesto and extra oil (good for calories). She also loves parmesan, preferably in big chunks, but I did start off with grating it.

Do you have to be careful with the salt content of parmesan though?

My LO used to love avocado which is good for fat, fun to squidge too, oh and she also loves a spoonful of thick cream to suck sometimes, another good calorie filler

titferbrains
why not visit the blw website for some weaning ideas. Nice recipes and friendly/supportive non-judgemental people www.babyledweaning.com/forum/

no-one will mind if you want to puree-feed either, just good place for ideas and support.

Oh, POLENTA, I just remembered! Get some quick cook polenta from the supermarket, the kind you do in a saucepan not the microwave kind - takes about five minutes. Add grated cheese, tomato puree, herbs and frozen spinach in those weird nuggets. It is totally delicious as mush and if you don't want mush pour it into a tray, cut into fingers, stick in the fridge and fry until crisp and brown the next day. It's a completely balanced meal and takes no time at all to cook from start to finish. DD absolutely adored this as a baby and it was so easy for a meal in a hurry.

Glad you had a good day today.

Hi tfb. Glad to read you are having some success with the feeding. My DS is the same age (& weight probably!) & I am sure we have met before on threads. He is a b**ger with food sometimes. My policy (ha!) is to be relaxed & just let him get on with it. Easier said than done. He is teething at the moment & today he only ate a little weetabix for breakfast, one yogurt for morning snack & some milk. He refused lunch outright, then he decided he was hungry & had a meltdown in Sains. All food brought with me was was refused apart from cake which calmed him down. For tea he refused lasagne & just ate cold chicken (quite a bit) & some fruit. So I sympathise totally. Some days he eats well - some not. I guess they balance out. The good thing is he eats well at nursery. He loves feeding himself (eg chicken) so he gets finger food a lot. Chicken dipped in Pesto, coated in breadcrumbs & fried (for those extra calories) are a big hit. Macaroni cheese went down well recently too. (with spinach & other veggies). Those fritters you made sound ideal.

Hi I agree with middleagednamechanger too.

Is your dd underweight or at risk for anything? because if not then I would cut out all the snacks between meals and give her a chance to get hungry.

I did this with dd1 and dd2 who are fabulous eaters - I didn't do it with ds1 (no3) and oh do I regret it

hiya not had time to read the whole thread but have you tried sweet potato?sorry if someone else mentioned it already! you can put other veg in it too. At about that age DS ate a range of finger foods, but DD is a different kettle of fish at the moment! she too has a sweet tooth but everything they have ever eaten is sweet, ie breastmilk is sweet so its a natural infinity. Chop her up some fruit sticks and add other savourys like rice cakes, egg and bread she can dunk maybe? goodluck

I'll try the polenta (I'll try bloody anything!) with other bits mixed in, thanks for the suggestions.

Deanna lovely to hear from you again, that chicken sounds tasty, I'm always reluctant to cook it for her because it's expensive... - she gets a lot of mince.

Kitkat yes she is a bit underweight, she hovers around 0.4th percentile. She doesn't eat a lot of snacks, just bits of cracker and raisins or cheerios - I think it's difficult to stop all snacks as she moves so much, I don't think she'd cope without a bit of something when we're out shopping etc. But I take yr point that excessive snacking isn't great.

Nelix - she had a LOT of sweet potato when weaning and I think she's gone off it a bit. I might bake one for lunch and see what she makes of it.

I gave her some rice at breakfast today and she had a bit which is good, only chewed and spat it out but at least she didn't reject it completely.

Am going to revisit Nigella's kiddie recipes now. Thanks for posting all!

Nothing more to add to the great suggestions here, but just to let you know that DD was exactly the same at your dd's age, also around the 0.4 centile and also advised by the dietician to 'butter her vegetables'! She loved her ellas and would eat fruit until the cows the came home. We decided to keep chilled, and just kept offering her some of whatever we were having and just clearing away whatever she didn't eat. Often she might have one or two teaspoons of food at each meal. Now at 2.7 she eats a fairly wide range of foods, still small amounts and she's still right down there on the centiles, but she's healthy, happy and full of energy - and does love her food, will try most things (though not potato still, interestingly). It's hard when you don't know how it's going to go in the future, but I remember when I posted on here at the time someone said that as long as she's healthy and has energy then she's probably alright, and that turned out to be the best advice. There's also a brilliant book that's worth taking a look at - "My child won't eat". Can't recommend it enough. Good luck with it all!