Kids say the funniest things.......

[Imablokepleasebegentle]

I was doing the weekly shopping with my 11 year old son in ASDA last Saturday. We got to the frozen turkey section and he was looking at this enormous frozen turkey that fed 15-18 people.

Suddenly his face dropped..... "Daddy - Is this really what it says?" Looking at the label, there were the words "Basted" turkey - which DS had taken to be a turkey without a father!!

like my DS of 4 saying MUMMY, WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE SUCH A FAT TUMMY??

or to my DH's work partner about me : Mummy has a fat tummy because she is growing a baby. (I am NOT pregnant......

my son 2 puts his boy bits between his legs and says 'gone' then lets go and goes 'there it is' he loves homer simpson but doesnt call him homer its 'homo' which is embaressing at the best of times. more so the day he shouted it out at my local slimming class. DOH

DD is 3.5. "Mummy, I will buy you some socks for Christmas as yours have holes in. Actually I will knit you some. I've been thinking about doing that for 10 years and now I will get round to it. Magnificent."

Today my DD told me " I understand everthing mummy, but I do not understand cheese"

Ive taught m 3y old daughter to say loudly, "mummy, could we have that Waitrose Salmon for supper tonight"

'Is rain clouds weeing?' from DD1 (3.9)
and then after a few moments thought
'And is mud their poo?'

My DS (22 months) loves the yoga on Waybuloo and when he is doing crab, he crawls around the room shouting 'crap, crap'.

DD1 (7) opened a pack of 'mini cocktail sausages' (healthy tea, not ) and said to DD2 (2, in awe): 'Look. It's a lie. They're not cocktail. They're pork.'

DD2 saw someone using a typewriter on TV and said 'Ooh look mummy, an old fashioned computer!'

monkeyfacegrace, DS says to me in Waitrose : MUMMY, DO YOU NEED WINE AGAIN?

[absobloodylutely emoticon]

he does not like salmon and WR is my nearest offie

dd2 is a temple of innapropriate language.

Today she could not play in the yard because there was a scary mancock trying to get in, apparently. She decided, instead, to amuse herself by demanding that dog shit in order to earn Skips off her

I can only hope she means monster and sit

DD1 (3.2yo) asked me last week, "What language does Father Christmas speak?"

And then, on the drive home from town on Sunday afternoon, we got, "How do you make children?"

ds came up to me today and said "Did you know heat can damage your hair?"
The power of advertising.....

Ds2 having a tantrum in M&Co.

I exclaim sarcastically "Oh, you're just delightful today, aren't you!?"

He arched his backand bawled at the top of his voice - "I. Am. Not Belightfuuuullllll!"

Following a rather large lady round Asda who had a trolley full of junk food and Coke etc, my (then) 4 year old DS said "She's not been to the gym for a while mum!"

I was mortified!

My niece (4) asking the waiter in a pizza express for a "poo sandwich please". One of her older cousins (ahem) having put her up to it.

Not embarrassing, but cute:

DS3 asks me to 'put the dark on' instead of 'switch the light off'

I don't have kids, but when I worked in a clothes shop we had a t-shirt which said "3 some" on the front.

A little girl came in with her mum and announced loudly to the whole shop while pointing at said t-shirt "MUMMY LIKES THEM!"

Cue red faced mum leaving shop.

DH took dd (3yrs) swimming last week, apparently in the changing room after she started chanting 'Daddy's got a furry bottom, daddy's got a furry bottom' over and over .

Yesterday when waiting to collect dd from playgroup another little girl appeared saying to her Mum 'We had a story about Mary and Joseph today and I was an Angel' Dd appears with a big grin,'Mummy, I was tinkerbell today!'

DD1 "I've got 2 babies in my tummy, Mummy."
Me "Umm, that's nice darling"
DD1 "they are twins"
Me "Gosh, how exciting"
DD1 " they are called teddy and twin"
Me "what lovely names"
DD1 "and I've got boobies too to feed them"

DD1 is 3 y.o. Obviously getting to grips with where babies are from...

i am sorry but kids don't say the funniest things, sometimes they say things that amuse their parent but actually compared to dara o'briain or some such they don't really.

when walking home the other day there was a dead pigeon on the side of the road, ds 3.7 said "poor bird he is dead. Shall we bury him so he can grow into a flower?" sweet! "then we can smell it and see if it smells of a dead bird!" eeeeew!!!
Also a very odd looking woman walking toward us and ds sais very loudly "that lady looks sooooooooooo funny" then laughs, o the shame

lmao kaloki