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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD has wet knickers ALL THE TIME!

43 replies

SydneyB · 01/11/2009 14:42

Am at the end of my tether! For the last 2 months now my previously potty-trained nearly 3 yr old DD has been wetting her knickers 5/6 times a day. I've tried sticker charts, rewards, ignoring, wild praise when she gets it right and nothing seems to work. Its like she just can't be bothered or is too lazy to go but its now become this awful confrontational thing between us and if I even ask if she wants to go she screams no and if I physically drag her it's a screaming fit too! I'm now not sure how to unravel it all and also just have no idea how to stop her doing it. PLEASE HELP!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SlartyBartFast · 01/11/2009 14:54

how logn was she potty trained for?
has she just started nursery or somethign to interrupt her usual schedule?

twolittlekings · 01/11/2009 14:56

DS had the same - he actually got balanitis as a result. It was because he was lazy and would rather have the drip effect than go to the loo as he did not want to miss out. We had to really remind him that he needed to go to the loo.

Now he just sneakily hides his wet pants and trousers under the bed and changes into clean ones without telling me.... he is 4

Original poster

SydneyB · 01/11/2009 14:59

She was potty trained for about 3 months before this started, got it within a week or so. She just doesn't seem to care! Twokings, I think it is laziness but man, I can't keep doing all this washing til she's 4. Can I??

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Original poster

SydneyB · 01/11/2009 15:00

Oh yes Slarty - it did all start when i went back to work but she has seemed fine and settled. Could it really be due to that do you think?

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SlartyBartFast · 01/11/2009 15:01

my dd hated going upstairs to the loo, she was scared, perhaps your dd is the same?
have nursery commented?
can you have a potty available?

Original poster

SydneyB · 01/11/2009 15:02

Still have potty downstairs and she's at home with her younger brother and nanny during the day so in her own home.

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Nicadooby · 01/11/2009 18:59

Could she have an infection? i know this can also trigger accidents

henryhuggins · 01/11/2009 19:18

omg

this is dd3 as well
I don't know what else to do (she was 3 in sept. potty trained (or not ) since last spring.

i think she is just lazy and doesn't care that she has wet/damp pants on

arrgh

shockers · 01/11/2009 19:29

I would investigate the possibility of an infecion too. Also, I notice that when Dd has a bad cold she tends to have accidents ( don't know why but it happens)
When she was smaller, she used to be in such a hurry that she used to pull her knickers up before she had finished fully too.

Original poster

SydneyB · 01/11/2009 19:40

I've thought about the infection thing but can she have had one for 2 months that hasn't worsened or gone away? I've asked her if it itches or hurts when she wees and she's says no. Have started a policy of making her go upstairs and put wet clothes in linen basket and put new things on to see if that stops it.

OP posts:

Flightattendant · 01/11/2009 19:42

How old is yopunger brother? Sometimes they regress when younger sibling arrive/is getting more attention...

Surfermum · 01/11/2009 19:58

I would get her checked for an infection too. Dd gets like this. She gets vulvitis and it sometimes turns into a urine infection as well, but the first sign is being red around her bits and accidents. She has trouble "holding" so when she has to go she doesn't have time to get to the toilet. She's never complained of pain or itchiness, even when she had a full-blown infection.

CarGirl · 01/11/2009 20:05

dd3 was like this, she doesn't like anything to interrupt her play, including going to the toilet.

I can't remember what stopped it happening (or hugely improved it) but I have a sneaking suspicion that I threatened to smack her because I new it was "couldn't tear myself awayness" or I could have given her time out for it.

I was 100% sure it wasn't infection etc though.

WobblyPig · 01/11/2009 23:28

I think you need to explore physical reasons for this - just in case. Not likely to have had a prolonged infeciton but there are other reasons why continence can become difficult. Speak to the GP.

SonjaM · 02/11/2009 16:28

I just asked a similar question about my 3 year old boy. Previously really good at dry pants all day but now getting worse and worse. So frustrating. Is it laziness or a sign of something physically wrong and if just laziness what do we do? He is already trying to stop me seeing that his pants are damp and I don't want to create a situation where he is afraid to tell me he's wet himself. On the other hand, he has to know it's not OK, doesn't he? Oh, help!

Stuffedcat · 02/11/2009 16:36

SonjaM
Saw your post and I posted mine at the same time!! (wondering if his teeth coming through might be the problem)!
I have is a similar situation, he does't seem too bothered about his wet pants now, he was so good and now its getting to 2/3 changed of trousers and several pairs of pants a day.
Lets hope it's shortlived??

Poledra · 02/11/2009 16:41

DD2 did a similar thing - had been dry then started wetting all time. With hindsight, she was going through a growing spurt and was tired all the time, so couldn't be bothered going to the loo in time.

One thing that did help (on the advice of a sensible HV!) was to buy some knickers with a favoured character on them (Dora, in our case). When she wet those knickers, she had to put plain ones on, as Dora didn't like getting wet. It was quite non-confrontational (I was getting to the yelling stage too) and seemed to work quite quickly.

TheMightyToosh · 02/11/2009 16:47

SydneyB - your post could be me! You are not alone... My dd (2.8) was potty trained all over the summer, but now has wet pants about 5 times a day. Sticker charts seemed to help for a couple of weeks, but now it is creeping back in. I'm also at the stage where I am starting to get angry about it, which I hate as it is probably the worst thing I can do.

Only difference is that in my case, I can't pinpoint a change that has happened to trigger this off.

Poledra - I love the pants idea, I will try that next!!

teameric · 02/11/2009 17:20

another one here! my DD who is 3 does this, I think sometimes she doesn't get to the loo in time or she just forgets, fed up with the constant washing I seem to have

monkeyfacegrace · 02/11/2009 17:44

Yep add me to the pile. DD perfectly potty trained back in the summer, now she is almost 3 and for the last few months she waits until her knickers are wet before she tells me she needs a wee. Im totally past the yelling stage, Ive ignored, praised, yelled, punished, sticker charted and bribed. That lot did fuck all so now Im just washing lots and put up with it!

SonjaM · 02/11/2009 18:27

So encouraging to hear all these similar tales of woe. I won't worry about going through all the stages from sticker chart to screaming then if it has done all of you no good either. Lucky we bought a new washing machine recently then...

henryhuggins · 02/11/2009 18:51

so.......we have had a completely dry day today, I don't know why but can't take the credit as she was with childminder all day!

CM drew a spider and they coloured it in, and took her to the toilet every hour, dd had to sit and do a pee everytime (she did) Then she got to put a sticker on a leg. 8 pees, 8 stickers and one very happy mummy!

am also going to buy some special knickers that dd3 can choose

how did everyone else do today?

wingandprayer · 02/11/2009 19:03

I would also like to recommend getting a GP to check for UTIs. My DD was exactly like this turned out she had raging UTI but no other UTI symptoms. I had a year and a half of wetting I put down to all sorts of things, tried everything, eventually chucked huge fit with doctor and got referal to paediatric urologist and turns out she does have a problem that will require sone further investigation. I don't want to scare anyone, there can be loads of reasons from frequent wetting with this age group, but would highly recommend getting medical causes ruled out before you drive yourself mad with sticker charts etc

TheMightyToosh · 03/11/2009 09:52

We had a urine test done just in case but it showed nothing.

Then sticker charts worked for a while...

Now we are onto bribery - the promise of a sweetie after tea if we have dry pants all day at nursery.

It worked yesterday, fingers crossed for today...

Original poster

SydneyB · 03/11/2009 14:06

Not sure whether to be relieved or not that so many others are struggling with this! I guess I will get her checked for UTI but she's never complained about anything hurting/itching and my instinct tells me it is just laziness. She is a little better with her nanny in that she'll go to the loo/potty if she asks her to go rather than the mega tantrum she throws at me. She just doesn't seem to care about being wet although it must be uncomfortable! Might try some Peppa Pig knicks. Jeez.

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