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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Question for people with more than one child

33 replies

PiccadillyCircus · 03/06/2005 11:22

I am 25 weeks pregnant with DS2/DD and have been wondering what he/she will be like.

DS(18 months) is basically a contented person - he is happy most of the time, is generally flexible, eats well, sleeps very well and is a sociable boy.

I am preparing myself for his brother or sister to be the complete opposite in all ways but hope I am wrong . What experiences have other people had?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

suzywong · 03/06/2005 11:23

you are going to get a very very mixed response, the short anwswer is that they are all individuals

Janh · 03/06/2005 11:25

suzy is correct!

dinosaur · 03/06/2005 11:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

suzywong · 03/06/2005 11:26

as per usual jan, as per usual

Pamina3 · 03/06/2005 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mosschops30 · 03/06/2005 11:33

Message withdrawn

Janh · 03/06/2005 11:33

oh, didn't I say? oops

Enid · 03/06/2005 11:35

mine aren't opposites, they kind of influence each other. Although they do have different temperaments. dd2 was a worse sleeper than dd1 but now they both sleep and eat pretty well. dd2 is less fussy over food than dd1.

MarsLady · 03/06/2005 11:36

you gets what you gets........

If I'd had DD2 first then I may not have gone on to have 5. I may have just had the one. She was so full on, and still is. She's gorgeous and lovely and completely different to the first two. I don't think that any of my children are the same. DS1 was so placid and calm, but he never smiled. DD1 was smiley, happy, chatty (changed by the time she was 10, now moody, stroppy, lovely, funny) and the DTs well talk about different personalities and yet so similar in many ways.

Short answer: see my first sentence!

handlemecarefully · 03/06/2005 11:36

Can't really add to what Suzy says.

But then maybe there are tendancies between families? My friend's two both were very poor sleepers, both of mine have been good sleepers for instance. Might just be coincidence - I don't know....

Rhubarb · 03/06/2005 11:37

dd is very laid back, had no curiousity as a toddler, so we didn't need stair gates, fire-guards or plug thingies. She slept well from 3 months, a bit clingy, but good humoured! She was also a small baby.

ds was a good 2 pounds heavier than dd, he didn't sleep until about 9 months after I'd stopped b/f him and even now we might get woken by him. He is into everything and anything, and our new house is not at all childproof! But he has the same sense of humour!

haven · 03/06/2005 14:53

agree with most others. dd was quite, content, never really had to correct. ds on the other hand has been a handful since he decidided to join us. from sicknesses to hardheadedness.

they are different, but that is what makes them each special.

PrettyCandles · 03/06/2005 14:58

Oh yes - each one is totally individual. You might want to prepare yourself for the fact that your ds might have a total personality reversal at some point after the baby is born, or even before that. My ds had his first tantrums the week we explained that we were going to have a new baby living with us soon (about 33? weeks pg), and this was after months of preparation. He went on hunger-strike and had about 10 tantrums in 4 days. Mind you, he did go back to his happy, easy-going, precise self afterwards.

Chuffed · 03/06/2005 15:23

can i ask if your pregnancies were different ie. easy happy pregnancy = easy happy child or was there no correlation - I'm really curious about this too PicadillyCircus.

KatieinSpain · 03/06/2005 15:31

Even though, I knew, on one level, everything everyone else has said, it still didn't stop me being amazed by the difference between my two. With DS1, everything he did was new. Possibly, with DS2 it was his different take on life that was so new.
Like with PrettyCandles, DS1 initial reaction to his brother wasn't the best but it passed really quickly.
IME, two has been even better than one .

bensmum3 · 03/06/2005 19:09

I have three, dd, ds and ds, they are all very different, but I also think the way you behave with them influences how they behave, ds2 for instance is much calmer than dd and I'm sure thats because I was a lot more relaxed myself. But having older siblings also means that the little ones have a role model to follow/copy and get up to more than your first would have dreamed of doing.
My only suggestion is enjoy them both for who they are, they grow up so quickly, don't compare them,they are little individuals who will bring you so much , but maybe in different ways

dejags · 03/06/2005 19:14

I am not going to help but I'd say the same but different i.e. DS2 is similar to DS1 physically, although he is bigger, he looks like DS1 did, and is meeting his milestones almost to the day that DS1 did. He also has an incredibly high pain threshold like his brother.

From a personality point of view they are very different. DS1 is high maintenance, incredibly loving and wears his heart on his sleeve, while DS2 is easy going, happy to entertain himself and I can already tell he will have a "take it or leave it" attitude towards life.

So as somebody else said - you gets what you gets.

Good luck!

Janh · 03/06/2005 19:23

Another thing to consider is the family constellation/birth order. Where a new child comes in the family has an impact on its character and personality, and so do the "roles" already taken - the good one, the naughty one, the clever one etc - I have a brilliant book about this, I can't find it or remember what it's called but it had numerous examples of quite young babies sussing out what was what and apparently modifying their behaviour accordingly.

suedonim · 03/06/2005 19:38

I was Smug Mummy with Baby No 1, who was a dream child. What a rude awakening I had with No2!!! I think it's down to character and there's not a lot you can do about that.

Hermione1 · 03/06/2005 19:42

I have two kids, 15 months between mine. I was very niave and thought my second would be like my first who was such a good baby and slept well, eat well etc etc, but he was the complete opposite. Things are better now, but he was a very demanding baby and was shocked at how different they both were.

nutcracker · 03/06/2005 19:45

Dd1 was/is quite a quiet and reserved little lady.

Dd2 is/was completely opposite, loud and always needing attention.

Ds is a mixture of both

Janh · 03/06/2005 19:46

Blimey, nutty, yours are exactly like mine!!!

nell12 · 03/06/2005 20:05

ds and dd opposites. but that is a good thing! if they were too alike in temperament I would find myself comparing them. At least I can watch dd grow with no preconceptions about how and when she will develop. However sometimes I do reserve the right to wish that dd was less of a drama queen and more of a quiet soul like her big bro!

tigi · 03/06/2005 20:10

ds1 very calm and placid, a lovely child.
ds2 (5 yrs between) very emotional, hyper, chatty, and cuddly- high maintenace- wears me out!
ds3 (2.5 yrs bet ds2 and ds3) like ds1, but stubborn. He is the only one to have had temper tantrums.
ds1 and ds2 premature. Ds2 pregnancy fraught with problems (which I think explains why he is like he is) ds3 pregnancy a dream!

They are just NOW starting to all calm down! phew! I love them all to bits.

bunny2 · 03/06/2005 20:26

Complete opposites here too! Ds has never slept through the night (he's 5) whereas dd did from 14 wks. Dd is very calm and placid, happy to lie on her mat observing whereas ds always wanted to be picked up and be on the move. Even in the womb dd was very quiet (I made a midnight dash to hospital at 28 wks pregnant as she hadnt moved all day and I suspected the worse) whereas ds was always on the move and kept me awake with kicks from 16wks till the day he was born.

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