Help - Is DPs discpline of DS out of order please help me decide

[wheresmypaddle]

Today is my birthday. DS (2.5), DP and I had a lovely eve and I went for quick drink with friend leaving DP to put DS to bed.

Whilst I was out DS hit DP hard in face was told not to do it again, which he promptly did as hard as he could by all accounts. DP asked DS to say sorry- (standard response in our family which usually works after a few min, then cuddles and all is forgotten).

DS refused to say sorry was just shouting 'no'. So DP said he needed to stay in his room until he said sorry. At this point I arrived home and decided not to undermine DP and left him to it. DS stood stock still and silent in bedroom for an hour- DP popped in every 15 min or so asking him if he was ready to say sorry- he just shouted no.

It was getting so late I decided DS needed to go to bed (although DP wanted to continue the stand off. I went up, told DS he had made Daddy sad by hurting him and he should say sorry but it was now bedtime. He had his milk, did teeth, went to bed still refusing to apologise.

DP went in said goodnight and told DS he would need to say sorry before they could play together again.

DS feels undermined and he wants DS to know he must say sorry- so he wants me to carry on as normal in morning but to tell DS there will be no playing with Daddy or fun with Daddy until he has said sorry.

I want to stick beside DP but I'm not sure if he is being too harsh on DS. What do others think should happen tomorrow (DS will be going to nursery at 9am, he goes one day a week)- should Daddy insist on apology??

Sorry to ramble on but I feel stuck between two wills of iron and I dont want to undermine DP or be too harsh on DS- help!!!

Yes indeed DP and I have realise that we needed a rethink and have done so- until the next time.

DP and I are still learning and to be fair to him he was following the general rules I had set down but when it went pear shaped he made the wrong decision. Hindsight is a wonderful thing........

And yes, DS and DP are very very close but also very similar, so there are fun times ahead.

Wheresmy, I guess it will be down to you then to remind your DP that he needs to keep faith with the reasonable approach!!! Good luck.

Hi Wheresmypaddle, I'm so pleased to hear that you and DP have resolved the situation today. Your DS sounds like a lovely lad, and I smiled at the image of father and son sharing a mutual apology .

Glad to hear you've sorted it out. And bless ds for his apology when he woke up - he sounds like a gorgeous little boy.

Your comment "DP and I are still learning" is exactly right! Parents are always learning - just when you think you've got the little tinkers sorted out and you really understand how to handle them, they take another developmental leap and you have to start all over again...

I'm sure ds will tell me exactly where I have been going wrong all these years, in huge detail, when he's a teenager. And I shall be a very irritating mother who says 'yes, life's not fair, I never claimed to be perfect and wait until you have your own'!