Sorry about the length of this, but this incident has upset me.
My older twin, very tall for his age, has had an unfortunate prediliction for pushing and shoving other children for no good reason. It used to be much worse but he's growing out of it and has practically stopped. Nor entirely though, sadly....
On the basis that he seems to be a good hearted child otherwise, I am assuming (hoping!) that its a "stage." I have deliberately avoided things like soft play places where he could have run riot though, and stopped going to our local toddler group when his bigness for his age made him too big to be rough, compared to his peers/younger children. If you see what I mean.
The fact that he's a twin doesn't help of course because I can't keep an eye on both of them at once....
Anyway - there we were on our local highstreet at the end of a long day running errands. Both children had been good as gold. Then, just as we were about to go back to the car park, my boy for no good reason gives another child a shove - I was out of earshot but he probably told said child he was going to put him in jail - its the game they're playing at home.
Mother of said child immediately rounds on my boy saying very loudly and very repetively what a horrible, rude, nasty child he is. Her child by the by is not crying and has not been hurt. Not that thats an excuse - I have told my boy until blue in the face not to shove other children. Anyway, I tell him off but decide against sending him over to say sorry because she's still expostulating about how vile he is and I very much doubt he'd have wanted to approach her. I say that he is only three, although he seems much older. She says thats no excuse. I say I'm very sorry, she says he should be the one apologising, not me, and that he's vile. I say again that he is only three, she says I should teach my children some manners. I say I do! and she pulls a face and says not much. I decide discretion is the best course and we beat hasty retreat.
Its been bothering me ever since. Yes, my boy can be rough but he's three and a lot less rough than he used to be. Its not as if he punches, bites, kicks, nips - he just gives the odd shove and sometimes stands in the way, being bloody minded, and saying that no other children are allowed on the slide. He's always been very affectionate and these days he generally plays well with others and is a popular child.
So - I'm afraid to ask this because the truth might hurt - am I wrong to think that being three explains his behaviour, as I was trying to say to the other mother? Or is she right and am I effectively a sh*te parent for not teaching him some manners? I think she overreacted and jumped to the wrong conclusions. For example, I think its extremely bad manners to shout at and insult a stranger in the street!
Sorry to ramble - I've been stewing over this for a week!